You’ll have to read between the lines to understand what this episode is all about. As a Luxury Travel Companion, Madison Montgomery offers more than just companionship. Take a peak inside the world of high class escorts as we talk celebrity NDAs, making thousands of dollars a night and the cost of breaking into the business. Then, we countdown the Top 5 Cold Weather Foods.
Madison Montgomery: 01:04
Pointless: 38:12
Top 5: 48:51
Interview with Luxury Travel Companion Madison Montgomery
Nick VinZant 0:00
Hey welcome to Profoundly Pointless. My name is Nick VinZant. Coming up in this episode, travel companions, and cold weather food,
Madison Montgomery 0:14
you are not a $4,000 a month girl, you are paid by the hour girl, you can make that in one day, sleazy and unsafe and scary. But after a couple of weeks of that, and when I when I go back to like my dating life, they're astounded by my skills like they're like, what?
Nick VinZant 0:40
I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, subscribe, leave us a rating or review, we really appreciate it really helps us out. If you're a new listener, welcome to the show. If you're a longtime listener, thank you so much for all of your support. So I want to get right to our first guest. This is luxury travel companion, Madison Montgomery. So when we talk about a travel companion, is this about travel? Or is this kind of code for something else?
Madison Montgomery 1:10
It's code. A travel companion means that I am available to travel with you to travel to you, or whatever, but as an escort. So
Nick VinZant 1:25
as an escort, then I'm assuming sex is involved.
Madison Montgomery 1:29
two consenting adults making their own decisions can have sex. Yes.
Nick VinZant 1:36
How did you kind of get into this?
Madison Montgomery 1:39
When I was 2223, I had sugar daddy, that paid me a monthly allowance of 4000 a month. And when he went through a divorce, he couldn't provide that for me anymore. And I was like, Oh my gosh, what am I going to do? So I told my best friend and I'm like, I don't know how to what I'm gonna do. And my friend. She was going out of town to work at a bar called the green door every month for one week. And she's she decided to confide in me and she said, that green door bar doesn't exist girl. I go up to San Francisco once a month, and work as an escort. And that's what you should do. You are not a $4,000 a month girl. You are a paid by the hour girl. You can make that in one day. And I was like, Are you serious? Is the state. And so anyways, that's how I got into being a professional sport because she introduced me to this whole new world. And I mean, I was spending multiple days a week with my sugar daddy for four gram. Um, but yeah, I do make 4000 in a day sometimes. No.
Nick VinZant 3:08
Were you conflicted about it? Or was this kind of like, Man, this is an easy decision.
Madison Montgomery 3:12
I was so scared. And she was like, Well, why don't you just come on one of my trips with me? And I was like, Yeah, okay, I guess that's fair. And she had me posted an ad. But when you first start as a sex worker, especially as a sport, it's very hard for you to get booked if you don't have establishment, like if you're not established, like social media, ads, different website verification services. So it was very slow for me that week. But she introduced the idea of doing what's called doubles, which means threesomes, so I would see her with a client. And we would do it that way. And that's how I got established.
Nick VinZant 4:13
What was that first time kind of like for you?
Madison Montgomery 4:15
I was so uncomfortable with it. Because it's like, you don't get to pick who your clients are, you know, like you do a rigorous screening process and make sure that they're safe to see, but you don't know what they look like. And that was something that I was like, Well, how can I do this? If I'm not attracted to them? And she kind of this provider. She like, told me that I had to get into a role. So it was like acting. And it is, some of it is or a lot of it was when I first started. And so I would have to get into this role. And that was really hard for me because I I was like, when I was seeing my sugar daddy, it was like, we were dating, you know, and I was attracted to, we like actually have a real connection. So this was different because it was like, very transactional. And like, I'm really not ever see that person again. And it's like an exchange, and it just felt like sleazy and unsafe and scary. But after a couple of weeks of that, and like, and then when I was making $10,000, in one week, to start, I was like, I'm doing this does not matter. And then I was able to get into character real quick, like, in my day to day life, I'm a different person from when I am out of
Nick VinZant 5:55
debt, you feel still feel kind of conflicted about it? No,
Madison Montgomery 5:59
not at all. Not at all. Oh, my gosh, most of my friends know that I'm a sex worker. My, my family, I think that they know, but it's like a don't ask questions. You don't want to know the answer to kind of thing, you know, because they know that I've done modeling my whole adult life, and Playboy, but I think they know, I think they just were not going to talk about it. What
Nick VinZant 6:28
do you think that made you okay with it? Was it just? Was it the money? Or is it just like, I just got used to this?
Madison Montgomery 6:34
What definitely the money the money has been saying. But when I say that I started as mostly acting, it was entirely it had to be an act for me, because I couldn't get into it. But now I don't feel like it's that much acting. It's like I'm giving a person an experience that, like is changing their life. So I don't know, I feel like I'm a I'm a giver. And I don't know, a lot of the time I'm a therapist, because I get to talk people through their issues on what's going on in their lives. And I'm really good at that. I'm a Pisces? I'm great. I'm an empath, I would say. And most of my encounters are, like, equally rewarding, like, other than monetarily, how
Nick VinZant 7:34
does an encounter usually work? Right? Is it kind of a date? Or is this like everybody knows what they're here for? Let's get to begin?
Madison Montgomery 7:42
Well, it depends. Typically, someone contacts me via an ad that they've seen, or I post on Twitter a lot about my availability, they text or email me, then I send them to my screening forum, they have to go through a screening process where I verify they are who they say they are, they have to provide their name, age, email, phone number, I screened that with a various number of sites, which I will not say which ones they are, because I don't know about them. And then if anything comes up on there, that's a red flag to me, then I typically don't see them. But if they're all good to go and their references, check out, we require most of us require provider references. So they'll provide to other providers information, and I will reach out to them. Ask if they're safe, as they would see them again, that kind of stuff. And so yeah, so if they pass the screening process, then it just depends. Like sometimes a guy wants to meet with me for an hour, that's my minimum time. And usually an hour is just, I either go to them, or they come to me and it's pretty, like wham bam, Thank you, ma'am. I just like a little bit, a little bit of conversation and then I get right into it. Um, but then what I'm what I prefer is like a preferred for me, but obviously, it's more expensive is like a dinner date where we go enjoy a meal and drinks together in public and then go back to my place or my hotel or their place, then it's more organic feeling like it feels like an actual date.
Nick VinZant 9:46
So as you know, I think it's listed officially as like a travel companion. Will people kind of fly you out specifically or how does that work?
Madison Montgomery 9:53
So, f m t y or fly me to you is the thing that most escorts offer. And that's the travel companion aspect of it. So yes, that is definitely like top tier, way more expensive, because we require much more of a deposit. We require flights to be covered. And most most girls ask for first class, but I'm like, I don't. I don't ask for First of all, I think that the concept of first class is ridiculous if they want to do that for me. Oh, yeah. But like, that's not something I require. Um, because I like to put my own flights. But yeah, they they pay for everything that is required for the travel for the travel time, and then my rate, which is 6500 for 24 hours. So
Nick VinZant 10:56
how is that like, kind of compared to other people who are in the industry? Is that pretty standard? Is that high? Is that lower?
Madison Montgomery 11:04
Everyone has their own thing? My hourly rate is 1000. So it's like, you're getting a really great deal. If you want to spend that much time with me, you know? And then my overnight if I'm just like, coming for the night, is 5500. So how do I compare to the other girls in the industry? Most girls are charging like $8,000 for 24 hours.
Nick VinZant 11:35
So then like how much? How much would you say that
Madison Montgomery 11:37
you make a year, around 300,000.
Nick VinZant 11:40
That's a lot of money. That's like life changing money.
Madison Montgomery 11:44
That includes other things as well. So travel companion score, Madison Montgomery is also dominatrix mistress Madison Hill, which I use to separate the two but not now that I've been phased out, me, I show my face and all my advertisements, and not blurred. I just know people are going to notice. So I just combined the two most people know that I'm the same person, but I do switch between different roles. So that's with both of those, which come at a different price point. And I also started doing full body central massage this year, which is at a different price point as well. Which is more busy. So I would say Madison during the travel companion escort is more of like the luxury service. And is I get less bookings that way, but I prefer longer bookings. So I would say I get like one or two a week. With that. And then with the others, it's way more consistent.
Nick VinZant 13:00
Yeah, yeah. But then you wouldn't have another another job outside of this. This is this is kind
Madison Montgomery 13:07
of I own my own business in the cosmetic world. And that's why wise,
Nick VinZant 13:13
was that and now is that kind of the retirement plan, so to speak, or was that just something that you've always done?
Madison Montgomery 13:19
Yeah, that was kind of the retirement plan. I actually consider or I actually announced that I retired this year when I was in a relationship and that was going to be the rest of my life as a med spa owner, but that didn't work out. So I'm back to the sex work, which is honestly the best, do you
Nick VinZant 13:41
really enjoy it? Or have you kind of like in any way convinced yourself that you enjoy it? Um,
Madison Montgomery 13:46
okay, so when I retired this year, it was only for a short time, I was so happy to be done with it, because it is really taxing. Like, I have to be on top of my shit all the time, I have to make sure that I look good all the time. Because, you know, unless you only allow yourself a number of days or a set schedule to take appointments, which is like doing yourself a disservice because some months are very busy and some months are very slow. And on those slow months, you have to like just be ready in case you get something but so yeah, I have to take care take excellent care of myself. I have to, like especially the touring. And in my opinion to be successful in this you have to tour you cannot only work in your home city because the people who live there are going to see you on the advertisements, and men like variety. And they're gonna, if they've already seen you, they're gonna get bored, you know, or they'll walk To see more people. So when I go on tours, when I make the most amount of money I make consistently 10,000 In one week, like, or sometimes 10,000 In two days. That's because when I come to these different cities that I don't live in, these guys are like, Oh my god, I have to see her this time, because I might not get another chance for like, another year, you know, um, so they hop on it, and then I'm slam packed with appointments for the time that I'm there. I enjoy it. Because I have the flexibility of my own schedule. I can afford this frickin amazing apartment that I otherwise probably wouldn't I love the that it gives me the lifestyle that I want. The things that I don't like about it, obviously, are that it's stigmatized, it's considered not legal, although you'll hear any provider say this, the donation is for my time and companionship only, which is true. Anything that is decided between two consenting adults is irrelevant to the donation. And it's hard on my body, you know, way more active than the average person.
Nick VinZant 16:23
When we talk about the sexual aspect of it. Is it kind of everything on the table? Whole thing? Or what are we kind of talking about in that regard?
Madison Montgomery 16:35
I have, I have some limits. Um, I I prefer it to be more sensual and like vanilla, I guess you could say, but I do offer trips to Greece, which is, you know, for $1,000 Extra. Um, but I don't allow like marks that would last past the appointment, such as like whipping or, like really hard to spanking or anything that would leave a bruise, which sometimes, unfortunately, that does happen. But I bruise easily, so I just don't like the rough play on me. So that's the limit. I don't allow come in my mouth. I just I can't like I'm not a porn star. Although I have only options, I can just like that's where I have to draw the line. But everyone's different. Some girls. Some girls do swallow. I said
Nick VinZant 17:52
why do they call it trips to Greece? I have never heard that before. Why is it
Madison Montgomery 17:56
that Oh, great. Can you can't like say aim on any advertisement. You can't even say Greek on some but like, that's the term I don't know why it's called that. I have no idea where that came from.
Nick VinZant 18:08
I just didn't really make any sense. Doesn't Yeah, so like when you talk about like the people that you're involved with? I'm assuming they're generally men.
Madison Montgomery 18:17
Yes. Although I see couples as well. I don't see just females though. It's too weird for me like I am. But in my personal life, I would say I'm hetero flexible. I have been in like three couples and I have dated girls but like it was kind of phase for me. I'm not fully bisexual, so I can't see what's going on. It's totally like out of my wheelhouse. So I see couples though. And that has been enjoyable. What
Nick VinZant 18:54
if you kind of like were to put them in a certain category or to stereotype them in a way like what would you say like what's the the men like? Was there a general age range general type? Like how would you kind of characterize most of them?
Madison Montgomery 19:07
Now that I've been in the business for a while and I'm very established I'd say most of my clientele is between 35 and 65 but when I first started it was a lot of younger guys which I it's kind of like stereotypical like that they are the most annoying like they don't they don't follow instructions they don't do their research well enough. And there are exceptions but typically I don't like to see anyone younger than me it just feels weird. Sometimes I will sometimes there are a respectable number gents that once a man but I weeded out you know, like when they contact me. I can tell who's who's serious and who's mature and who's not? And I? I can choose that way but what kind of, they're definitely like white collar most of the guys that see me just because of the price point. And when I said before that I do domination and FBS F BSM full body sensual massage. Those are typically blue collar type men, because it is a lot less. But I'm also not taking my clothes off, I'm not engaging in sexual activities, the full
Nick VinZant 20:42
body sensual massage like well, I don't know what that is. Well, I mean, like I know, obviously like what that is I understand what those words mean, but I don't know what that is. But the thing that it's not a rub and tug, like that's what I
Madison Montgomery 20:54
used to. That's what I've always had is that actually is, yeah, so Oh, okay. Yeah, it's like massage, happy ending. And I do that in a spa space, like an actual office that's a spa with that it's just topless. And they can pay extra if they want other services, even into the Jeffie range of services if they would like but it's a massage office space. It's just great. But it's not like, private and it's like, as private as being in your own hotel room, or in my home. And there's, you know,
Nick VinZant 21:35
I have a good friend that I went to high school with. And that was his thing he went to, he would call them Robin tugs, and he would pay $25. And I always thought that I didn't even know if that was, is that cheap or expensive? That's
Madison Montgomery 21:47
cheap. That's insane. Maybe that was a long time ago. But my hourly for that is $400. That seems like a lot. And I actually do deep tissue massage. So
Nick VinZant 22:03
oh, you actually get a massage too.
Madison Montgomery 22:04
It's not just like a full body massage. And it's that's hard work. Like, you know, so. But then I'm also in lingerie. And it's a whole at the end of last five minutes.
Nick VinZant 22:25
Yeah, I would imagine by the time you get to the end, it doesn't take very long
Madison Montgomery 22:28
doesn't. It's quick.
Nick VinZant 22:32
Like second? Are we talking seconds or at least minute?
Madison Montgomery 22:35
Um, it's mostly five. That's all
Nick VinZant 22:38
right. Like I feel like okay, that's not bad guys. Are you ready for some harder slash listener submitted questions?
Madison Montgomery 22:44
Harder? Hey, yeah. Can
Nick VinZant 22:48
you have a normal life? Do you feel like you can have a normal life with this kind of job?
Madison Montgomery 22:53
Totally. I do have a normal life. I, I travel a lot. Sometimes I'll combine my personal travel with tours. I just did that in Miami. I was there for a whole week and I went to a music festival which is my number one hobby. I'm a huge raver and raper for 15 years. And all that covered and I had the best time of my life because I can spend money freely and, and come home with money like still. So I would say that the hardest part of normal life is dating. Like, you know, am I in my last relationship that didn't work out. Like I really thought he was my soulmate. He knew everything about me being a sex worker. And initially, he accepted it, but then he used it against me later, even after I had retired. So it was it's like, I get it. Like I don't think that if I was a man, I don't think that I would do a sex worker. But then it's like hard because I deserve love, you know, like, so eventually? I don't know. Like, that's the question I get a lot is like, what's your end game because you do want to be in a relationship. But at this at this stage of my life after that one, I don't want to retire anytime soon. So dating is just not on my priority list like and all of my friends love me for who I am so and they're supportive of it. And some of them who were before knowing that I am one or before knowing me. Were part of that societal stigma that hates on sex work. They have like a new change mindset on it which is really Nice because they see that I'm still like, a normal person.
Nick VinZant 25:05
This one's kind of interesting in the sense that, like, has this heightened or ruined your sex drive?
Madison Montgomery 25:11
I have always been, like, a little free. Like, even since I was a teenager. Like, it's not shocking, you know, like looking at my, my childhood and growing up and how, like risky I was, um, has it heightened it? I would say yeah. Because like, I am way more experienced than the average person my age and I even was what, like five years ago at 25. So I'm still horny, and I actually like do do enjoy. And I get off for most of my appointments like, I'm not faking that part for for. I mean, I have to have some but like, I'm good at it.
Nick VinZant 26:07
Do they want you to? Do they want you to like fake it? If you're
Madison Montgomery 26:11
not? Oh, they don't want me to fake it? I mean, they're gonna be heartbroken to know, some of them. But, um, they want me to get off for sure. It's not just all about them, like a lot of them want to please Me too. Oh,
Nick VinZant 26:28
I think this person is asking this is kind of like, because we had an adult film star that was on one time. And the question was kind of similar in the sense. And they asked him like, do you feel like you're actually good at sex? And the lady was like, No, not really. She was an adult film star about it. She's like, I don't really think that I am. So the question would be like, are you? Do you feel like you're good at it?
Madison Montgomery 26:51
I'm great at it. Like, and when I when I go back to like my dating life. They're astounded by my skills. Like they're like, What? The school is, like, way exceeding my expectations, which maybe I should have been like, a little bit more like I don't usually do this, you know, but then I don't believe so. Right.
Nick VinZant 27:19
Right. What do you like? What are you doing? Like, what's I have so
Madison Montgomery 27:23
much more experience than the skills? You know, like,
Nick VinZant 27:28
what is your most interesting request? Actually, it's two part question, what is your most common request? What is your most interesting request,
Madison Montgomery 27:35
it's pretty like all the same, like, they want me to do oral and then they want all the positions. Some sometimes they want me to wear something specific, like a lot of guys like the secretary Business Club, because they want it to be kind of like a roleplay situation, which is fine. I take outfit requests most people do, except for if I'm touring that can't be too specific. But obviously I'm traveling I don't have my full wardrobe. Um, but I don't I don't know what my most common request is, I guess. I sometimes get requested for doubles. And I've known to do doubles with other girls in the industry. Doubles means the three something again, so that's a request. Again, that comes at a really high price point because it's double the rate, you know, so not a lot of people can afford that and that's why it's like I don't get many of those. It's like a once in a while thing, but those are the requests I get.
Nick VinZant 28:45
What would you say is probably your most interesting what do you would you say is kind of your most interesting or unique one.
Madison Montgomery 28:50
I'm dressing up in cosplay, I guess because of my hair color and my my bodies. My body is like very hourglass and I have huge Ted's and huge ass that I look like a comic book character. So a lot of them want me to dress in cosplay. That's my most interesting one, I guess. And I love doing that. I love drafting or cartoon characters like Jessica Rabbit I get called that all the time. They want me to, like enact reenact scenes from just rather Roger Rabbit movies. And then poison ivy I've done a ton Jean Grey. So as a high score, I'm a I'm a G F E F score, girlfriend experience. Typically, like I am, you're you're hiring me to be your part time girlfriend. So I'm going to do what a girlfriend would do for the amount of time that I'm spending with you. And another type of escort is called P S E it's fun. I'm sorry, experience, and I get that request a lot. But I am not a porn star. Like, I do have only fans and I make content like a couple of different guys. Like, like foreign content, but I'm not a porn star. I'm not like, I can't, I'm not doing like, all the crazy shit that you see in foreign. And so that's a request that I deny. Because typically there are no limits and and guys just want to like Facebook me for a whole hour and I'm not cool with that like, yeah, like, that's not me.
Nick VinZant 30:37
Do you have to pay taxes? Yes, I do. But do you pay taxes on this? Like, how do you
Madison Montgomery 30:44
So okay, so most high end, establishment riders require deposits I have for the last. I didn't for like the first two years. So I have for the last five to six years now. And that is sent electronically most of the time. So Cash App Zell. Some people accept them. I don't have anymore PayPal, you know, all that. I pay taxes on that. And then whatever I put into the bank, I have to because they have to, you know, it's coming from somewhere and I don't want to be audited. What
Nick VinZant 31:30
do you put? What do you put down as the occupation then
Madison Montgomery 31:33
self employed and I do on a business? So that's
Nick VinZant 31:38
really the only issue that I would have with it is like, look, I'm I'm pay taxes, you got to pay taxes too long as you're paying taxes,
Madison Montgomery 31:45
I am paying taxes, and I live in California and the taxes are very high. But I love what is
Nick VinZant 31:52
it dangerous? Like do you worry about your safety at all?
Madison Montgomery 31:55
I definitely did when I first started, I was like, How can this be safe? How can I ensure that the people who are contacting me are not law enforcement. And that was that that stressor was alleviated by those screening process. I screen every single person that I see. And they have to provide me a lot of information. So if they're not willing to do that, I will not see them if they if their information doesn't check out I want see them. And then the thing with the law enforcement is, well, I figured out a couple not send you money prior to meeting you. So they can't provide a deposit. Now I have actually seen law enforcement that do provide me their information. They're just doing it on the side, and they are very upfront about their occupation. Yeah, as I have seen a few cops, it
Nick VinZant 32:56
is D Do you feel from a legal standpoint? Do you feel like this is something that law enforcement is actively going after? Like?
Madison Montgomery 33:05
No, I don't, I would say they it's more cause for concern. And people get in trouble when it's like, they like, like someone has gotten involved with an escort who is currently going through a divorce, and they get proof of it. And then, you know, they find that there's this sort of affair happening. And then again, with all those review sites, like it's that information can be used against you.
Nick VinZant 33:41
Have you ever had any famous clients? Um,
Madison Montgomery 33:44
I have? I have I cannot name them
Nick VinZant 33:49
on a scale of one to 10 Like how famous Do you think we're talking
Madison Montgomery 33:53
10 for a few
Nick VinZant 33:57
actor athlete, can you give us the industry?
Madison Montgomery 34:02
Um, actors slash TV personality? And a couple athletes.
Nick VinZant 34:12
Is that pretty common?
Madison Montgomery 34:13
No.
Nick VinZant 34:14
Did you know who they will guess with the verification you found out? Yeah, was your reaction when you like, oh, that's persons famous? Well,
Madison Montgomery 34:22
I had to do even more screening because sometimes I'll get screening forms from people who say that there's somebody that but they're not and they're just lying. So it's like, there's no way this person is contacting me and like out of the zillion options that there are like, I know I'm hot but like, there's there's hotter ones, like you know, um, I would say that the Las Vegas escorts get way more of that because is there's a whole different market over there. But yeah, I've had a few, but it's very rare, very rare. And you have to sign a bunch of, like NDAs and all that, or I did. So.
Nick VinZant 35:20
What is your busiest month? What is your slowest month? Man?
Madison Montgomery 35:24
It varies. But the last two months have been amazing for me. October and September were killer. Like, I was like, when I announced on Twitter, which I have 30,000 followers there. And that's where I interact with my fans, I guess the most and then only fans as well. When I announced that I was retiring people who are like, shattered, like they were like, no, like, I've been saving up for this amount of time to see you and like, I'll never get to see you anymore. We're like, upset but then they were really happy for me because I was in love at the time. So then when I announced that that relationship didn't work out, and I was back in the game, I think people were like, oh, no, wait, we better get after it. Like before this happens again, you know, in case she does retire again. So I don't know if it's because of that, or it's because of just like my increasing popularity on social media or what but the last two months were amazing. I will say that the worst months typically are the holiday months, November and December. So we're into November now. And yep. I have been noticing that it is crickets like I have not been busy with that with the GFP stuff this month. The FPS admin domination stuff is more consistent. But yeah, I'm getting a low.
Nick VinZant 37:02
That's pretty much all the questions we have. Is there anything that you think that we missed? Or how can people kind of get a hold of you if they are interested in learning more?
Madison Montgomery 37:12
Miss Madison montgomery.com is my website and that has all of my social links on it. I'm on Instagram, Twitter and Twitter ex people are calling it now. I always say Twitter because I've been on there since 2016. But, um, top apps, Instagram, my website and then on my website are all of my verification platforms, which I'm not gonna say on here, but you can find it there. I want
Nick VinZant 37:47
to thank Madison so much for coming on the show if you want to connect with her. We have linked to her on our social media accounts. We're Profoundly Pointless on tik, Tok, Instagram and YouTube. And we've also included her information in the episode description. The YouTube version of this interview will be live on November 9, at 4:30pm Pacific. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw and get to the pointless part of this show. If you were to go into the male escort lifestyle, how much do you think you could charge someone for an hour of your time?
John Shull 38:26
Can you can you wait what is like a cut? Do you know what an average rate is? Why would you know what that is?
Nick VinZant 38:30
Okay, so $1,000 would be like pretty high class.
John Shull 38:37
See, I think I think I could get up to maybe 500 But only only if I had like a stick. Like I don't know chubby cheeks or chubby chaser or something or like, you know, you
Nick VinZant 38:50
would have like a marketing gimmick and you think you could get like 500 an hour.
John Shull 38:54
Yeah, like you know, like Let's wrestle like let's stage a professional wrestling match or something. Ah,
Nick VinZant 38:59
like taking you want to you want to you want to hit the mat with Chucky Cheese. Yeah,
John Shull 39:03
there you go. See? Yeah, you know, over.
Nick VinZant 39:07
I'd be happy if I got 100 bucks an hour.
John Shull 39:09
I mean, listen, if I if I'm not doing a gimmick. I mean, I'd be lucky to even get a client I think,
Nick VinZant 39:16
think of how many male gigolos are out there with no clients. There's when
John Shull 39:21
when do you decide to hang it up? That's my question. Like when do you when do you decide that? Like this is probably not what I should be doing with my life.
Nick VinZant 39:30
Probably pretty quickly. I think that if you're like a male escort, and you don't have any clients in the first month, I don't think it's gonna happen for you.
John Shull 39:41
Yeah. That that is I tell you this that that lifestyle is not one that I ever want to partake in. I think I would be absolutely terrified of it.
Nick VinZant 39:54
terrified of being a male escort. Yeah,
John Shull 39:56
I know. It sounds I know it sounds great. And I No, and maybe it is great. I have no idea but I just going from different person a different person every night to never knowing the situation really, just I don't know, it's too much of
Nick VinZant 40:11
a control freak for that. Too much anxiety to be a male escort.
John Shull 40:16
I'm gonna sit me down in a room where I have to talk. Maybe I make 100 bucks an hour. You put me up in a room naked against five other guys. I'm probably walking out with nothing. Probably neg I probably have to pay them just to be there.
Nick VinZant 40:28
Hey, man, I'm in the same boat. I'm not getting any money off of it either.
John Shull 40:33
I mean, at least at least you're you know, you can market yourself one way. I mean, there is a market for little shorter men. I'm sure.
Nick VinZant 40:40
It's even even there. I'm not I'm splitting the difference. Like I'm just slightly I'm like at the low end of average. like nobody's like, do you want somebody who's at the lower end of average? Like no, he's either gotta be taller little and you just kind of right there. Like I've got no marketing.
John Shull 40:58
Alright, last question on this. Do you remember the show Cat House on HBO? Nope. All right, that, like he said, Let's go to shout outs here. Thiago Torres. Joe hooky. Christian Albrecht tre Hallo. Joe Collins. Ryan Motley. That's a cool last name. Motley is always a good like a good name. Jared Ray Hall, Jose Aponte. Tori field. And Monica Cortez.
Nick VinZant 41:31
I think the worst last name anybody could possibly have is farts.
John Shull 41:36
farts like just farts. Like farts?
Nick VinZant 41:40
Could you imagine growing up with the last name farts?
John Shull 41:45
I've never known anyone to have that last name. I didn't know somebody that had the last name of booger.
Nick VinZant 41:51
That's still not as bad as farts though.
John Shull 41:53
Yeah, farts is pretty bad. Farts would be the worst
Nick VinZant 41:57
last name that you could possibly have. I can't think of a single worse last name than farts.
John Shull 42:05
I mean, has there anyone ever has there been anyone in the history of the world with the last name of farts? There's there has to have been?
Nick VinZant 42:12
There are over 2000 census records available for somebody with the last name fart.
John Shull 42:17
Jesus. That's a lot.
Nick VinZant 42:19
You gotta you would have to change that so fast. Oh my god, there's a whole group. There's Anna fart Bob fart Elizabeth fart. George fart Henry fart James fart John fart, you would have to change that. You could not have the last name farts.
John Shull 42:37
And is it spelled like F AR t like, it's not like F AR T.
Nick VinZant 42:42
Man. There's a lot of like the all of the jokes would be endless. You would hear you would be made fun of for your last name of farts, every single interaction with another person.
John Shull 42:53
And I'm sure that never would get old. Kind of like in the male escort business. All you need 30 seconds.
Nick VinZant 42:58
That would be my marketing technique. That would be my ad though. It'd be like Nick VinZant doesn't charge by the hour because all it's gonna take is 30 seconds.
John Shull 43:09
Just one flat fee for the whole time.
Nick VinZant 43:11
Right? It'd be like 10 bucks. Well, you know that 10 bucks. That's pretty cheap. Well, it's only the last 30 seconds. I would market myself based on like, it would be like a drive thru. I would market myself on speed rather than ability. Yeah, but I mean, really get in and out realistically
John Shull 43:27
in and out like Jiffy Lube. Yeah, but if you're only doing 10 bucks a pop, realistically, you're only going to be able to do it. Six to seven times in an hour.
Nick VinZant 43:39
You could do it six to seven times in an hour. I thought you're gonna say a month. There's no way I could do it six to seven times in an hour. Sure. You could I mean, you're Oh, I guess if it's I'm not doing it. Maybe I get them. Nevermind. This is
John Shull 43:53
spiraling out of control. All right. Let's go to some other things that make no sense. A couple of questions for you. Christmas music is it okay to play before Thanksgiving?
Nick VinZant 44:05
No, it is not okay to put Christmas it is not okay to have Christmas music before Thanksgiving. It is not okay to put Christmas decorations up inside your house before Thanksgiving. But I think that you can put your Christmas lights up as early as right now. Outdoor decorations are acceptable Christmas lights can go up now. Christmas decorations can't go up until after Thanksgiving in like we're talking about like candy canes out in the front yard that kind of stuff but lights can go up now. Everything else has to wait for after Thanksgiving. So
John Shull 44:34
what do you do if you walk into somebody's house right now? And they have it's all decorated for Christmas?
Nick VinZant 44:42
Well, I mean nothing it's somebody like what am I gonna do like punch him in the face? Fucking tear it down.
John Shull 44:46
Yeah, that's that's I just
Nick VinZant 44:47
feel like an adult. Sure. You would indicate in rage. Yes. Like yes. I think stabbing with a knife. Like let's I didn't go I would criticize. It'd be like that's too early.
John Shull 44:57
I mean, I was hoping that murder but it's fine. All right. Once again, I don't know how this how these things always match up. But one of the questions I had for you is actually kind of what we were talking about. And it's how much would it take for you to do some kind of show? Or something nude in front of an audience?
Nick VinZant 45:19
Do I have any time to prepare? Can I like prepare the body and slim it down? Or am I just have to go out there right now? It's
John Shull 45:26
tough to go out there right now say it's tonight.
Nick VinZant 45:30
Oh, you're gonna I'm gonna have to, like it's gonna have to change my life. I'm gonna have to get life changing money or life changing like exposure or something like that. Like it's gonna have to be life changing. I'm not doing it for like, 100 bucks. I'm not doing it for 10 grand. It's gonna have to be life changing for me to be naked in public. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.
John Shull 45:52
I don't think it was how much
Nick VinZant 45:53
did you do it for?
John Shull 45:54
I mean, let's say you have a much nicer physique than me. And I think I would do it for relatively cheap. I mean, I do it for five digits. You
Nick VinZant 46:02
do it for five digits. See, the thing is, too is my advantage is that because I am a thing thinner man, mine will appear bigger.
John Shull 46:11
I didn't say that was had to be something sexual.
Nick VinZant 46:13
Maybe they want you're still going to be out there with your wiener just hanging around. I
John Shull 46:17
mean, I don't i Aren't we at the age in our life where who even cares anymore? If it's what the size is, as long as it still works.
Nick VinZant 46:26
It's not that I care. It's that I care what I personally don't like what I like what I look like. That's why I'm I mean, you know what, like, if I don't have the confidence right now, it would have to be life changing money.
John Shull 46:39
Okay. Well, if anyone's looking for somebody to do something nude and has life changing money, dicks waiting for your call.
Nick VinZant 46:46
I'm your guy. I'm here guys don't have
John Shull 46:48
a big cold outside or inside. I don't know why I was thinking about this. But would you rather lose your life savings and a robbery? or going to the casino and blowing it on black?
Nick VinZant 47:05
Oh, I think I would rather be robbed. Because at that point, I could at least blame it on somebody else. And I could potentially get it back. If you go to the casino, you've got nobody else to blame, but you and you made a bad decision. And you're not getting that back. Yeah, I'd rather be robbed. I
John Shull 47:28
mean, I dabbled a little bit on in Draft Kings and things and in the casino when it's like when you lose 10 bucks in two hands. You just feel shitty? I couldn't imagine losing serious money.
Nick VinZant 47:41
I've never been a gambler. I have never really like I'll like to go to Vegas. And I like to kind of like gamble to hang out with my friends. But I have never enjoyed gambling. Never. I wouldn't bet $1 Like that's Oh, I just lost that dollar.
John Shull 47:57
I can speak from experience that you are one instigating sob.
Nick VinZant 48:04
Oh, yeah, I like watching other people lose money. A
John Shull 48:06
lot of buddy. hundreds of dollars. I've saved $100
Nick VinZant 48:08
Yeah, I'm double it. Double Down, double down. I just sorry, Ryan. It's what Murray lost all your money. Well,
John Shull 48:18
my room comes. Yeah, well, you got that. But you went home empty handed. So I
Nick VinZant 48:23
didn't know he didn't even get his room calm. Just to write people on this story. We have a friend a mutual friend John and I who gambled away pretty much all of his winnings because of us. And then he just managed to scream out. I want my room comped over and over, because you're so drunk. Those are the only words that you could form in English language. And he didn't get his room company lost like $1,600
John Shull 48:44
Anyways, that's really all I had today. That's it. That was it. Oh, wow. Went through. Okay, what's there.
Nick VinZant 48:50
Okay, so our top five is top five cold weather foods. Once you number five, it's
John Shull 48:56
a combo, but it's a delicious combo, and that's tomato soup and grilled cheese.
Nick VinZant 49:03
I don't understand the cold weather appeal of that.
John Shull 49:06
It's soup. It's a hot sandwich.
Nick VinZant 49:12
I mean, I think grilled cheese is good all year round. I don't personally see tomato soup and maybe I don't personally see grilled cheese as a cold weather meal to be honest with you. It's just It's just I mean, saying different than cheeseburger you wouldn't say a cheeseburger is a cold weather meal.
John Shull 49:27
No, but it's you know, I I listen, it's all it's all a presumption, right? I presume that that's a combo in the winter that I only eat during the winter. Which
Nick VinZant 49:41
is ironic because tomatoes aren't good in the winter. Well, so you're eating it at the right time, right? You're not eating fresh during some. Anyway, I can go on on this. My number five is chicken noodle soup. Warm, makes you feel better. chicken noodle soup I think is a good cold weather fuzzy
John Shull 49:59
to me. That's all year round soup.
Nick VinZant 50:03
Let's get you sick all the time and you live in Detroit. Well, it sucks
John Shull 50:09
I honestly have nothing for that. What am I gonna respond? I got I got off and I you know Detroit doesn't suck but it doesn't
Nick VinZant 50:16
matter. You're not going to eat. You're going to eat chicken noodle soup in July. Yeah, I
John Shull 50:21
did. Actually. I did just this past July because I got sick.
Nick VinZant 50:26
Yeah, but if you're not sick, you're not eating chicken noodle soup.
John Shull 50:29
No, but why else would you eat chicken noodle soup? I think chicken noodle soup is probably the one of the most overrated soups in the history of soups.
Nick VinZant 50:39
I would say tomato soup to me is one of the most his overrated soups, but I don't disagree with it. I don't. I'm not gonna say that. I like chicken noodle soup. Particularly. It's okay. But it I think of it as a cold weather food. What's your number four?
John Shull 50:53
So like a pot pie? Like a chicken pot pie?
Nick VinZant 50:57
Yeah. Chicken pot pie is the kind of thing that you have in cold weather. Oh, it's I agree.
John Shull 51:02
And Pro Tip Make your own. Like you can buy the frozen ones but make your own and it's even better. It's not hard to make either. Very easy.
Nick VinZant 51:12
chicken potpie? Seems like a lot of work. That looks like a lot of work. To be honest.
John Shull 51:17
It's not it's not really which. Oh, is
Nick VinZant 51:19
it much easier when you got 15 kinds of tongs at your house? How many tongs you got now?
John Shull 51:23
Why Why? Why? Just why with the tongue? Why would
Nick VinZant 51:27
you have more than one tongue? I will never understand.
John Shull 51:31
You know what, I just bought baking tongs. So you're welcome. So how many
Nick VinZant 51:35
pairs of tongs do you have now? How are the baking tongs different from the how many other pairs of tongs did you have baking
John Shull 51:41
tongs have a little bit more of a round edge on the end. So you can pick up things you know, in cupcake pans and other bakery items. That way, you don't have to like use a knife or toothpick to kind of round them out. You can just get the tongs in there and lift them out nice and gently.
Nick VinZant 52:00
So how many pairs of tongs Do you have?
John Shull 52:03
I don't know. Probably, like I said probably between 15 and 20. Maybe.
Nick VinZant 52:09
And you really between 15 and 20 tongs, you said to yourself of all of these tongs, I just don't have the right tongs to get this cupcake. I need something else.
John Shull 52:18
I mean, listen, there are several kinds of tongs for several different
Nick VinZant 52:23
things. There's lots of kinds of forks, they're all a fork.
John Shull 52:27
Yeah, if you're the one arguing this, I'm not. I'm
Nick VinZant 52:30
the one arguing that you don't need anything like right, I don't think it's the tongue. I think it's the person operating the tongue. I mean, maybe you need to work on some manual dexterity. Get your coordination up so that you can use tongs properly. And you don't need the exact specific thing, right.
John Shull 52:47
I mean, let's let me live my life. I'm
Nick VinZant 52:49
just saying you should be able to use a hammer for more than one thing than just hitting nails. Here's
John Shull 52:53
the thing. All right, get you a pair of bread tongs, it'll change your life.
Nick VinZant 52:59
You have bread tongs to like reach into a sandwich bag, a bag of bread that you get from the supermarket to pull out the piece of bread.
John Shull 53:07
No, I have bread tongs for the toaster. So I don't have to stick my finger in there and get burned. Do
Nick VinZant 53:13
it like a man. Push the thing down and then pop it out fast enough so it shoots out of there and then grab it. Reach in there. No,
John Shull 53:22
that's wild buy a 99 cent pair of bamboo bread tongs.
Nick VinZant 53:28
I can't believe that right? Like if I saw somebody that was next to a toaster who was like oh, I can't get it and then turned around and walked across the kitchen got a pair of tongs and then came back and then got it out. You're gonna get made fun of in my house.
John Shull 53:42
I'll tell you that much. Okay, okay. All right.
Nick VinZant 53:44
Let me see gonna laugh at you. My number four is casseroles any kind of casserole I think casserole is a great cold weather food. Any kind of casseroles it is it's I'm gonna throw it so goulash on there as well. I'll throw goulash I consider goulash to be a casserole in my mind.
John Shull 53:59
It is I think, yeah, I mean anything like that is delicious. Once again, I kind of have those all year round, but I could see how they could be labeled as a cold weather food.
Nick VinZant 54:10
Okay, okay, so number three,
John Shull 54:12
my number three is actually not food but it kind of is food.
Nick VinZant 54:18
Are you going to say what I'm the family is yours. Is your three about to be what my number three is? No,
John Shull 54:24
I don't think so. Because I don't think he partaken number three, but saying that my number three is any kind of dark beer like a stout or something like that. Something heavy. Something that you drink primarily in the wintertime.
Nick VinZant 54:40
Okay, I can see a darker beer being a winter drink mine number three is hot chocolate. Okay.
John Shull 54:45
That's yeah, that's that's a good one. I was thinking about putting that on my list, but I don't know I I'm just not a big fan of hot chocolate.
Nick VinZant 54:58
I'm not really a big fan. I have a whole hot chocolate. Hot chocolate to me is one of those things that you can have about half of it and then you're like, Okay, that's enough of that. I don't I never really want a full glass of hot chocolate. Hot chocolate. Half is good. Yeah, I mean, it's not even like half of what it would be however much you give me I want half of that. I
John Shull 55:19
mean, you're you're gonna tell me to, to you know, go all the way and drink all the hot chocolate there. All right, come
Nick VinZant 55:25
on. Unlike It doesn't taste that good after a little while. Makes
John Shull 55:29
makes my mouth burn.
Nick VinZant 55:32
Oh, you got tongs for the hot. Do you have special tongs to get the marshmallows out of the hot chocolate? I mean, do you have a special Hot Shot marshmallow? Tongs?
John Shull 55:40
I mean, I do have marshmallow tongs? Yes.
Nick VinZant 55:44
Do you really have marshmallows? Yeah, they stick together sometimes
John Shull 55:47
the marshmallows when they get a little old, so you gotta you know, you gotta have low tongs for him. You
Nick VinZant 55:54
can't use your hands. Yeah, sure. That's That's what I mean. The tongue is more of a pain in the ass to go get a pair of tongs and to separate them.
John Shull 56:04
Listen, don't question don't question the man. All right, it's fine. Nothing
Nick VinZant 56:09
just waste your money on stupid shit. Go ahead for it.
John Shull 56:13
To as any kind of, like pot roast. Something like that. You know? Like, I don't want to say Turkey like but like think of it like a Thanksgiving meal like a pot roast with some stuffing or something like that just but I'll just say pot roast just for the sake of it. Is
Nick VinZant 56:30
a pot roast is stew. Does that count as a stew? No,
John Shull 56:34
I don't think so. Because I usually make my pot roast. Like as the meat. There's not a lot of it's not in a stew usually you can put in a stew. But
Nick VinZant 56:47
do you make him in a pot? Sometimes
John Shull 56:48
Sometimes I try to smoke it, which is even worse because it gets gets gets all dried out which is sometimes can be delicious, but it's the very delicate meat.
Nick VinZant 56:59
Okay, okay. Sure. Chicken and dumplings.
John Shull 57:03
When's the last time you had dumplings?
Nick VinZant 57:09
tossed by been like 10 years. Yeah,
John Shull 57:10
no, that's not something that people just make. I feel on the regular is dumplings.
Nick VinZant 57:15
I love chicken dumplings, though. It's fantastic. I want some now. Well, it is that's like a food that you haven't eaten in a long time. And then you bring it back and then you're like, Oh, I'm gonna eat that all the time. I want chicken and dumplings. Okay, what's your I think our number one's going to be the same. Yeah,
John Shull 57:30
I think so too. Does it start with a C? It does. Yeah, it's Yep, definitely cumin powder.
Nick VinZant 57:37
Cumin. I was gonna put it well. Yeah, chili is obviously
John Shull 57:41
no might have been forever. My number one is a cheese stick. Is it really a cheese? Oh, of course. Chili. Of course. It's
Nick VinZant 57:50
Chili's fucking amazing. Chili is the ultimate cold weather food, I think. Right? Yeah,
John Shull 57:55
it's because it's hearty. There's several ways you can make it. It's 100% customizable. Chili may actually be one of the top 30 foods ever.
Nick VinZant 58:09
I would agree with that. I could go I could go top 15 I could go a little bit higher. I could put chili
John Shull 58:17
and I'm gonna keep it by 30
Nick VinZant 58:21
I can put chili in the top 15 of all my foods because I'm thinking like pizza hamburger cheeseburger. I do like some chili man. I like some chili. What do you have? What do you have in your honorable mention?
John Shull 58:33
So I have hot chocolate? I have apple cider. hot apple cider is delicious. What you're insane um, speaking of Apple like apple pie, like some kind of like pumpkin pie like a you know, a fall pies. Those are always delicious as well. Hmm. Okay.
Nick VinZant 58:51
Okay. And
John Shull 58:52
that's, that's kind of I did have stew on here but I don't like beef stew, I guess.
Nick VinZant 59:00
Yeah, I have stews in general that are on there. But in my mind is stew is a lot like a casserole. I know. Those are completely different things, but it's kind of like a thing where you put a whole bunch of shit together. i The other thing that I have on there is cranberries. Because you can get like, you get cranberries at Thanksgiving and get some cranberry pie. Like cranberry makes a resurgence. I feel like in the winter months. Yeah,
John Shull 59:24
yeah. I mean. Yeah, you're right. I mean, we all drink cranberry juice. I feel like in the summertime, but actual cranberries are probably in the fall.
Nick VinZant 59:35
Pies. I would say pie is more of a winter dessert. Pie is a winter dessert. You're not eating a lot of pies in the summer. So
John Shull 59:43
it depends. Ah okay, that's gonna go
Nick VinZant 59:47
ahead and do it for this episode of Profoundly Pointless. I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you give it if you get a chance. Leave us a quick review doesn't have to be some big thing. Just a couple of quick words. It really helps us Saudi really supports the show. We really appreciate it and let us know what you think are some of the best cold weather foods? I think it's really hard to be chilly. Like chili is the quintessential cold weather foods. But if you have any other things that you're really like man this this is this is it? Let us know