John Shull is a beast of a man. How else can you explain the numerous medals he won at an early age.

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After crushing both the spines and feelings of other 8-year-olds,  young John went on to accomplish little else athletically. 

He did however, continue to grow. Eventually becoming what some would call a "man".

Now living in Detroit, John has a job. For which he receives money.

Money he uses to buy stupid shit. 


Despite his gruff exterior John is a tender lover. Often rising early in the morning to make his wife her lunch for the day.

He is a big fan of The Rock, Tom Brady, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

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Nick VinZant:  Want to get to know Nick? Go to the grocery store. Find plain bread. There, you've met him. Dude's had the same haircut since 2nd grade.

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And who's he trying to fool with this picture? Does he not have teeth?