Sex can be complicated. And in a relationship and it get’s even more complicated. Certified Sex Therapist Sarah Watson helps people make it simple. We talk the basics of Sex Therapy, why couples lose their passion for each other and who’s really to blame for a bad sex life, men or women. Then, it’s Stockings and Santa Hats vs, Christmas Villages and Wreaths as we countdown the Top 5 Christmas Decorations.
Sarah Watson: 01:32
Pointless: 40:54
Top 5 Christmas Decoration: 1:01:35
Sarah Watson Sex Education Website
Sarah Watson Podcast: FLOW, straight talk about extreme periods
Interview with Sex Therapist Sarah Watson
Nick VinZant 0:12
Nick, welcome to Profoundly Pointless. My name is Nick VinZant Coming up in this episode sex therapy and Christmas decorations,
Sarah Watson 0:22
people will show up being like, Oh, it's just our relationship. That's the issue. When we start to kind of peel back the layers. It's it's relationship, it's your first sexual experience. It's how your parents didn't talk to you about sex, or your primary caregiver. It's going to to church. It's all of these things play a role. I'm almost like, this is cheaper than divorce. So like, and if you want to get laid, you should talk about your shit. It is right. But for some reason, we have a very hard time of applying that idea to sex. Like it has to be this way and it has to be this many times,
John Shull 1:01
I want to
Nick VinZant 1:02
thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance subscribe, leave us a rating or review. We really appreciate. It really helps us out. If you're a new listener, welcome to the show. If you're a long time listener, thank you so much for all of your support. So I want to get right to our first guest, because she's one of only a handful of certified sex therapists. This is sex therapist Sarah Watson. So what is sex therapy?
Sarah Watson 1:33
Sex therapy is just like traditional talk therapy, but you're coming in to talk to me about your sexual health, and we're talking about your family. We're talking about your relationships, your health, your physical health, and then what gets deeper with me is we're going to talk about your sexual history. So when did you learn about sex, your experiences, if you had trauma, your body? I work with a lot of doctors too, so I have all of that component going on in the room at the same time, where in traditional therapy, if you're just talking about depression, you're not talking about all of
Nick VinZant 2:11
that. Is it? It seems to me like there's a lot of baggage. Are people bringing a lot of baggage to this?
Sarah Watson 2:17
I mean, I don't know a functioning adult that doesn't have baggage, to be honest with you,
Nick VinZant 2:23
yeah, I can, I can attest. I can attest. I think we all can.
Sarah Watson 2:28
Yeah, a lot of and it's, it's funny, because people don't, people will show up being like, Oh, it's just our relationship. That's the issue. When we start to kind of peel back the layers. It's, it's relationship, it's your first sexual experience. It's how your parents didn't talk to you about sex, or your primary caregiver. It's going to to church. It's all of these things play a role. So is
Nick VinZant 2:55
it really about is it really about sex at the end of the day, or is it about something else that is manifesting itself through sex.
Sarah Watson 3:03
It's both. It's both. So sometimes it is really about sex, like sometimes, like, I have a lot of people I see that come in that have sexual pain, and so generally, a person with a vulva vagina, like, if a, if something is inserted, whether it's a whether it's a penis, a toy, a tampon, anything like that, and it's painful. It's not supposed to be painful, right? So there is a physical component that we need to make sure everything is okay. So then they come back and they're like, Okay, I've resolved the physical stuff, but I still don't want to have sex, or I'm still very scared, or it still hurts. Well, it doesn't hurt because there's something physically wrong. There's something going on with how you're thinking about it. So that's where I come into play. And we then do a lot of digging.
Nick VinZant 3:55
What's usually kind of the reason that people come to see you,
Sarah Watson 4:00
yeah, so I have a case load about, you know, 40% are couples, and then the rest are individuals that are struggling with sexual pain, no desire, Understanding relationship after kids or like, with smaller children, or their kids are leaving, and they're like, What the fuck do we do now? Because their lives have revolved around said children, and they're like, we didn't have time to have sex. And now what do we do? We don't even know. It's like starting fresh again. And then I have, I have a few clients that are struggling with orgasmic issues, erectile dysfunction issues, so I see kind of a wide variety, but it tends to be a lot of women struggling with sexual health, or couples.
Nick VinZant 4:57
Is this an easy thing for people to. Talk about, like, Are they ready and willing to go, or are they like, you really gotta, you gotta push and push and push and push. I
Sarah Watson 5:07
would say like, if you're an individual coming in and you seek me out, like, which tends to happen in the middle of the night, so I like, you know you can check the time of when your emails come in, right? And I often get emails reaching out for help after 11pm like, if it's, yeah, if it's between like 11pm and 2am I'm like, okay, shit. Shit went down, and they're freaking out, and they're on a Google search, or they're talking to people that they know, and they get referred. So then they come in, and sometimes it's, you know, the first session or two, super easy, because we're just getting to know each other. And I tell every single person, this is just, like, just a chill interview. Like, do you like me? And I need to kind of like you too. Like, we have to have a vibe, or you're not going to want to spill your guts to me, right? So that's we have to check that out. Now, if it's a couple coming in, and generally with a couple, it's one person is driving the bus saying we gotta go do this, and then the other person in the couple is usually like, just sits there for a while, and it takes a much longer time for me to to get that person to start to talk. So that happens frequently,
Nick VinZant 6:27
yeah, is it okay? I'm gonna throw general big aspersions out there, right? Like, I can just imagine myself as a man being there, like, yeah, I don't know. I would be really kind of standoffish, you know? I can picture myself in your office being like, oh, yeah, we're here because we wanted to come. I think we should just have more sex, right? Like, I'm not saying yes, but I would say, but I can just picture, like, that's, that's what I'm imagining happening,
Sarah Watson 6:51
yeah, and so that you're not imagining incorrectly, like, that is true. It's like, Oh, why are we here? Why are we spending all this money, right? And it's because it's an investment, right? We talk about that too, like, you're investing in your time, and I'm always like, this is cheaper than divorce, so, like, and if you want to get laid, you should talk about your shit. Like, this is, I mean, it's kind of easy to like, when we lay it all out there, then I can be like, okay, like, let's talk about, wait, who? Who taught you how to have sex? And everyone's like, deer in headlights. I'm like, Yeah, no shit, right? No one was no one taught you how to have
Nick VinZant 7:28
sex. It's so fascinating to me that it's a huge part of our lives, and that we don't know anything about it. I never learned anything.
Sarah Watson 7:36
Yeah, yeah. Well, because so if you grew up in the states which or if your listeners said, like, there are only could be off, but I think there's only 17 states that require medically accurate sex ed to be taught.
Nick VinZant 7:56
So that's why we know nothing about it. We
Sarah Watson 7:58
know nothing about it because we don't teach it in schools. Yeah,
Nick VinZant 8:02
I just remember the class that I took, which was basically, like, all don't have sex, and this is what happens to you. You're pregnant or you get a disease, and those are your only two options, right? Like, unless you're Yeah, I was I so I'm married 10 years. Okay, awesome. I have always been shocked at how little my wife seemed to know about her own body,
Sarah Watson 8:25
yeah, yeah, because we don't know about that either.
Nick VinZant 8:28
And that's where I should rephrase in a sense, not that I'm shocked at how little she knows about it, but how little she was taught like nobody, yeah, no older family member ever told you. Like, this is how pregnancy works. This is how sex works. Like, right? That's kind of, it's like, giving somebody a big piece of equipment and being like, here you go, and then just walking away, like, here's right? Here's a car. I'm not teaching you how to drive it or anything about it. This, here's the car, and I'm leaving this is so typical,
Sarah Watson 8:57
right? Like, okay, we've been together forever. I'm not, like, Do you know where your clitoris is, right? Do you know what it looks like? Oh, and I should have brought I have a 3d clitoris in my office. I'm at home today in my home office. But, like, we go through anatomy, but if you think about it, what you just said, Okay, her family didn't teach her about it because they don't have the education, right? So remember, just a second ago, they're not being taught. And then, if you think that, think about the boomers, right? So, like your parents, your grandparents, they don't talk about shit, right? Like, let alone, like, let's talk about your pleasure, right? Like, they don't know what to do with that. I
Nick VinZant 9:36
could not imagine my dad walking in and being like, son, you're 13. Let me tell you how your penis works, yeah,
Sarah Watson 9:43
yeah. But I would say, I hope you do that for your kids. I don't know.
Nick VinZant 9:51
Yeah, it's I would tell them, like, look, I mean, I don't have any tips to, like, help with satisfaction, necessarily. Like, maybe, like, Look, man, you got to do this, you got to do that. You got to do this, yeah, like, we could kind of change that a little bit. I feel like, for them, 100% 100% are most of your clients that come in as couples? Are they fairly? Are they new together? Are they like, like, how many years into it Are they, like, are they having problems early in the marriage relationship? Are they having problems later in it?
Sarah Watson 10:27
You know, I it generally, if I so, I'm gonna generalize. But it's usually a decade or plus
Nick VinZant 10:32
in Oh, yeah, I could see that,
Sarah Watson 10:35
yeah. Because generally, at that, like, okay, let's if we're doing, like, a traditional life isn't super crazy. Like you get married, you're in the honeymoon stage, right? Like you're hormonally, very excited about that person when you meet them, and you're excited about getting married, and blah, blah, blah, and then maybe you kind of hang out for a couple years, and then you have a then you have a kid, right? And then shits crazy, and then you're like, let's do it again, right? Because, you know, I mean, I didn't, because we're one and done, but like, then your life is crazy, and then, so we're thinking, Okay, you're six years, seven years in, and then you're finally, things are finally, like, yeah, like your kids are sleeping, like they're not in diapers anymore, right? So your stress levels coming down, and then you're like, hey, partner, like, what's this about now, right? You've gone through all of this and kind of hyper focused on raising tiny humans.
Nick VinZant 11:36
Can you get that back? Because in some sense, I was thinking about this the other day is like, my wife and I met when we were late 20s. I'm like, totally, totally different person than I was 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah. Like, do couples? Is this a normal thing that couples grow through, or do couples just grow apart? And I'm not the person that you were when we met and we didn't grow together, grow together.
Sarah Watson 12:01
I think you can get so I don't want to say, get it back, but you can start a new chapter, right? Because, or a new book, essentially, to use the analogy is that in the beginning, when I was talking about like, when you meet someone, your your hormones are generally shifting and changing, and you're so excited, right? You plan everything around seeing that person, right? Everything is about that relationship, that whole like, oh my god, we're so in love, right? And then at like, six months in, it, it peters out, like, you kind of get to stability, and the relationship changes. We're never going to get those new relationship hormones back. It's physically impossible, because you know her right, you have seen her birth a baby, right? Or you have heard her in the bathroom, right? Like there are, like there are some non sexy things that happen in relationship, and you can't just erase all of that so, but you can be intentional about being curious and finding new things, because you don't know everything about her. She keeps stuff in her mind. Thank God, right? Like, if my husband could read my mind, we would not be together,
Nick VinZant 13:13
right? I feel like that's the same for everybody. Yeah, right. Be
Sarah Watson 13:17
so fucked, yeah. Like, and not in a good way,
Nick VinZant 13:22
does it? Does it work?
Sarah Watson 13:24
It can work, but I can only do so much, right? So I always say, I can give you the education. I can help you become comfortable with talking about it. I can give you scripts to talk about it if you want to do that, I can give you resource after resource. You have to make time to spend together, right? Like, stop sitting in your spots on the couch, right? Like, sit together. And people don't do that. So then they're with me for a while. I'm like, Hey, did you guys like sit together? And they're like, No. They're like, we know. And they're like, We know, we know. And they like, roll their eyes, and they keep coming back week after week.
Nick VinZant 14:07
Can people just be okay with it, right? Like, is it totally fine for somebody like, look, we haven't had sex in 10 years, and that's cool. If both parties are okay, that's cool. Would you say that most of the clients and generalizing a lot, sure, are they normal people? Like, this is all normal in the grand scheme of things, like this is a normal couple with they're like, you're not ever like, okay, he wants something really strange, or she's kind of crazy. Like, are they would you say? Oh, they're pretty normal, actually,
Sarah Watson 14:40
yeah. And that's a question everyone wants to know, right? Like, are we normal? I'm like, Yeah, you're normal. It's typical. Like, you're gonna go through phases where your sex life is shit, right? And then you're gonna go through phases. You're like, This is amazing. Less life, right? It is, right. But for some reason, we. A very hard time of applying that idea to sex, like it has to be this way, and it has to be this many times, right? I've worked with multi millionaire CEOs, and then I've worked with people who are literally living from paycheck to paycheck, so it has nothing to do with your status in life or the money you're making. It has to do with, Okay, what's your effort? What's going on? What do you need in your relationship? And can you communicate that?
Nick VinZant 15:32
Are you ready for some harder slash, listener submitted questions.
Sarah Watson 15:34
Listeners, yes, I
Nick VinZant 15:36
am. Oh, these are so excited. I know who's the bigger problem, men or women,
Unknown Speaker 15:41
men
Nick VinZant 15:44
we are. I really thought it was going to be you guys.
Sarah Watson 15:48
And, okay, so can I? Can I give more? Yeah, it's like, how is this? Like, uh, yeah, because we live in a world of patriarchy. Let's we live in a patriarchy. Everything is centered around men, and we are all very comfortable with that, like we were talking about before, women's bodies are not researched, right? So we no one understands women's bodies, right? It's just now starting. They're just now starting to research menopause, like, in a good way, like, a significant way we're emotional, which is, which is, lovely men are as well, right? And obviously we're being very heteronormative in this conversation. But so this goes with anybody but men. Think Gen and again, generalization. Think, Okay, well, I get an erection and I want to have sex, and it should be that easy, and that's the problem. It's not that easy. We
Nick VinZant 16:48
are very binary in the sense that, like, it's either yes or no, it's one or two, and we don't have more complicated emotions in that regard, right?
Sarah Watson 16:59
And we're like, well, maybe will you run my back? Can I see like we there generally has to be like, this warm up of like, and then if I'm warmed up, I might have curiosity about it, but, yeah, you can't. It's not a light switch for us. So men are the trouble because they're like, Oh, but I turned on the light, and we're like, Did you fold the laundry?
Nick VinZant 17:26
I feel like, for us, we're bottle rockets, and you guys are like, diesel engines, like we're just and you guys gotta warm up. Okay, so kind of compartmentalizing that when men are the generalizing, yes, when men are the problem. What's their problem when women are the problem? What's usually their problem when
Sarah Watson 17:45
men are the problem? They don't talk about it right? If I could, if anyone walks away from this is, you have to talk about it right? What you want, what you need, what makes you feel good, what's pleasurable. That makes them the problem is because they don't know how to communicate their feelings. And when women are the issue it's because they have no idea how to ask for help and limit the mental load that
Nick VinZant 18:13
makes right? They're they're interested, but they're so distracted by other things, it's like you can't do this thing until you got all this other stuff taken care of,
Sarah Watson 18:21
right? Because they're looking at the dirty laundry on the floor. They're thinking about what the kid needs for school. They're thinking about what they're making for dinner. Who's gonna get grandma this day? Who, like, I could go on and on and on, like, it's literally a hamster wheel for most people, most women, I could
Nick VinZant 18:38
see that, right? Like, I would say that my wife and I are doing pretty well, yeah, okay, good. But I would also say that I'm probably her last priority. I would understand why. Like, we got kids, we got work, right, right. Like, I'm the last thing on that list. And for me, when it goes up, that's the only, like, there's no blood to operate both parts of this body, you know. So I can, kind of like I could see that, yeah, who seems to be able to fix it more men or women?
Sarah Watson 19:08
Oh, that's, that's a hard one. That is, I think it's who has capacity to put in the work at that time.
Nick VinZant 19:17
I can't tell if that's a diplomatic answer or you just don't want to say the real answer to which is no,
Sarah Watson 19:21
no, no, I really I, because I've seen it in both right? Like, I have a relatively new couple where I was like, You need to listen to this whole podcast. Like the whole, the whole thing, there was 10 episodes by one of my favorite authors, a sex therapist, guy, did it right away. You did it right away. And they're still trucking along as she's trucking along in the book, and they're both highly motivated, but he's now using the language that I use, because he put the effort in. But then if we look at her, they there's three children. In all in different directions, all different ages, entrepreneurs like who's running everyone to soccer, plus who's working and this and she literally does not have the time. I do
Nick VinZant 20:12
feel like women have more pressure from more directions than men do.
Sarah Watson 20:17
I completely agree our pressure
Nick VinZant 20:18
is Lin you know, it's, it's, it's, work, right? Family, yep. And we categorize all of that in the same two things. We don't have this, this, this, this, this, this, and that. Um, what's usually the reason people fail. I
Sarah Watson 20:32
have had several people decide to not continue their relationship in my office in the last decade. Two of those times were due to infidelity, and then one significant was due to financial abuse, and the continued lies, and another lie came out, a financial abuse, a lie came out in session, and explosion happened, and that was the end.
Nick VinZant 21:05
Are these conversations usually heated? Are they pretty calm, depends,
Sarah Watson 21:09
um, and I would say the a couple was during COVID, right? Like COVID was whoosh, was we were very busy. I mean, I'm still very busy, but just lie after lie came out and and it tended to be very calm and sad, actually, like just tears just rolling, and it's just very sad. Yeah, that has to
Nick VinZant 21:37
be tough. Can you tell? Can Are you ever surprised, like, oh, they fixed this. Or like, oh, they didn't make it. Are you ever surprised? Or do you kind of know, like, that ain't happening?
Sarah Watson 21:51
You know, right away, I generally am always like, I can kind of tell. I think I can tell right in the beginning, after like, let's say, five sessions where I can got a vibe, I know a little bit more of the story, I can figure it out like, Oh, they're going to do it, like they're going to actually take steps. And then every once in a while, I'm surprised where they don't make it. And I hear from one of them later this happens pretty often, where they'd be like, can I just come talk to you, you know, our whole story? And I was like, listen, like, I can never see you as a couple again. And like, we kind of figure out that dynamic just because we don't want bias. And I've been surprised before where I've been like, oh, did I miss that he was a narcissist. And sometimes I do
Nick VinZant 22:41
this one's kind of interesting. Oh, good. How important are you actually, or is it really just the process of people talking to each other?
Sarah Watson 22:50
Oh, I love that question. That's a good one. And somebody
Nick VinZant 22:54
not to kind of take away from the profession, like somebody's gotta facilitate this. But how much of it is just having someone to facilitate the conversation where it's really just these two people need to talk to each other.
Sarah Watson 23:05
I think I'm less important after the education piece. So and it can be education about sexual health, it can be education about how to communicate effectively in a meaningful way. And once we establish those tools and they really get it, then I'm less important. Then it's them just kind of talking through what's happening. And they'll be like, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Like, I'm more of a referee, not like, not because they're fighting. I'm just like, wait a second, pause. Let's try it again, and I can get them generally to hear each other, whereas at home, you're probably not going to have that experience
Nick VinZant 23:46
is one person usually the right one. Um, not that you're biased. There's no bias. It's not necessarily the same thing. But are you usually like, okay, they're actually pretty right, and you're kind of wrong here, sure,
Sarah Watson 24:02
sure, right? Like, I think, because we all sometimes it's like, we're diving deep on, like, one bullshit thing that happened during their week that created tension and that someone really fucked up and said something stupid, and then I'll be like, and they'll be like, I know, I know I shouldn't have said it like that, like so generally, when one person is wrong, they know it already. I don't have to, like, wave the flag of being like, You're a fucking moron, although I might be kind of thinking that I'm like, oh my god again.
Nick VinZant 24:38
Dang it. Steve, exactly. Steve, get
Sarah Watson 24:41
it together, right? Maybe
Nick VinZant 24:42
if you didn't cheat on your wife,
Sarah Watson 24:43
you wouldn't keep your dick in your pants. So easy, but
Nick VinZant 24:47
so hard for Steve, poor Steve. Steve,
he can't help. He can't help. But how often would you say, like, Okay, if you put a percentage on it, like, How often would you say, oh, one person's pretty clearly wrong in this one I.
Sarah Watson 25:00
Oh no, it's all, I mean, 80%
Nick VinZant 25:03
Oh, that high. Oh,
Sarah Watson 25:06
for sure, for sure. Because, you know, we're not nice generally to each other, right? Like, if you're fighting, someone is always in the wrong, right? Something, something happens, right? To activate something, right? And they did it because they weren't listening. They weren't being curious. They were being judgmental. They were being sassy, like whatever, like anything can do that someone fucked up like you don't fight just for funsies,
Nick VinZant 25:36
how much of sex is a power struggle?
Sarah Watson 25:39
Oh, good question. Um, just kind of thinking about my current people that I'm seeing right now. I don't think much of it is a power struggle. I only really see that, and it's more of a financial struggle. If one person makes a significant amount of money and the other person doesn't,
Nick VinZant 26:02
there's such a dynamic there. And
Sarah Watson 26:04
then, if they're like more, if their relationship is arranged in more of a traditional way, then there's a power struggle, for sure. I don't recommend that, right? Like, she's not gonna stay in the kitchen, bud, you know, like, pick up your shit.
Nick VinZant 26:22
I don't know if this one, I don't know if this applies. Okay, do you watch like, have a couples ever been like, hey, we want you to watch us. Oh, and critique. Is that a thing, though? Will some people do that?
Sarah Watson 26:35
Um, so as a sex therapist, no, You
Nick VinZant 26:40
never, like, nice form, like, Look,
Sarah Watson 26:44
why not here? Yeah,
Nick VinZant 26:45
right? Cup balls, not cupping them.
Sarah Watson 26:49
No, we can talk all about it, like we get into detail, right? Like there were vibrators in my office, like there are, like, There are toys and things, and we get into detail. But Never would I watch or touch.
Nick VinZant 27:03
I don't know what I would do if somebody was like, I would like you to watch me and my wife have sex and just give us your thoughts on how I'm performing. I would almost do it at a pure curiosity like, Well, okay, what would I say?
Sarah Watson 27:21
You know, just not ethically, something I'm gonna do. Yeah, people do. People are looking for that. Like I've been asked. People will not in person, but people will call,
Nick VinZant 27:35
How popular is this?
Sarah Watson 27:37
Oh, I'm well, very I would say, um, General, well, very in one sense, and then not in the other. People don't know about us until they have sex problems, or they've seen, I'm trying to think of, like, pop culture stuff, like, meet the fuckers, right? Like the, oh yeah, mom is a sex therapist. Yeah, there are some pretty there's a woman who I fangirl and love. Her name is Esther Perel, and she is a sex therapist out of New York City, and she's written a lot of books, and she is just a lover. So if you, if you're kind of, in my world, you would know, but generally people like, I didn't even know you existed. And I'm like, yeah, here we are. There's like, 600 I think last count, 600 and around 660 sex certified sex therapists in the United States.
Nick VinZant 28:34
That's that there's not that I would have thought. I thought you were going to have, say, 1000 after that. No, there's only 660
Sarah Watson 28:43
that are certified, right? So, like anyone is, anyone can call themselves a sex therapist, but I went through a very specific training and supervision, and have to have continuing education credits and pay my dues and do all of that, and there's around 660
Nick VinZant 29:02
of us. I would have thought that that number was way higher. I was, like, one of the rarest professions in the United States. Then it's,
Sarah Watson 29:11
I mean, it's pretty rare, like, there's not many, I don't know how many, so I'm in Michigan, and so I don't know how many are in our state, but there are some states that I think there's, like, two
Nick VinZant 29:22
this is also one of the questions, can you spot couples in the wild? Can you be like, Oh, they're having problems with sex?
Sarah Watson 29:29
Uh, maybe not sex. But I can be like, Wow, they're a mess, right? I can tell, like, how they speak to each other, um, immediately, like, if we're especially at dinner, I used to be, I used to be a waitress, used to be a server for 10 years. So I am always at the restaurant, like, paying attention to what's happening. And I'd be like, Oh, they're fighting. That's fun. Like, what's going on over there you can, like, see really intense conversation, or even at the grocery store, just how they interact, fascinating. But I like to watch people. People in general.
Nick VinZant 30:00
Can you notice big differences between generations? Oh, yeah. Oh,
Sarah Watson 30:05
my God, yes. Oh, I have like, I have Boomer people in my life. Obviously, I'm mad at them. It's overwhelming at times how I'm like, we just talked about this last week. How come, like we just talked about it, it's so frustrating and they it's just a very big resistance about talking about their feelings and communicating in a meaningful way. They have a hard time doing that.
Nick VinZant 30:34
What about like Gen Xers, which I think is the slightly older than millennial generation. Yeah,
Sarah Watson 30:40
they're Yeah, they show up pretty frequently. And I like working with them, because they show up and they know that they need to do the work, right. They're like, Okay, I'm not gonna fuck around all of the time, like, I'm seeing a therapist, like most Gen Xers, and I would say older, elder millennials, as we're called, like, they're like, Okay, let's talk about our feelings, and they're just trying to do every to do everything differently than what the boomers did.
Nick VinZant 31:05
Yeah, what about like the kids today?
Sarah Watson 31:08
I love them. I love them. They are amazing. They're very clear about what they know and what they don't know. They ask for help pretty easily, at least the kids I see right like, and I don't see too many of them, but I have a handful. And I'm like, oh my god, yay. I'm like, I look at my schedule and I'm excited to talk about stuff with them.
Nick VinZant 31:34
Yeah, they're like, they're much more open about it. Oh my god,
Sarah Watson 31:37
yes. And because they're in their way of dating is so differently, like the so different. I mean, I met my husband in person through a friend, but I know a lot of people, a lot of my friends, have met their partners through apps and online, and that world just didn't exist when I I've been with my husband for 22 years, so that didn't exist for me, but this is all that they're doing, and it's a shit show out there, and to talk about it and debrief and figure out, like, what is going well and what's not, they're so open. They're like, Oh my God, this person was totally talking to me for three hours on this trip, unbeknownst to my purse, my client wife was on the trip to and I was like, oh, like, let's talk about it like it's
Nick VinZant 32:30
it's so good, it's so crazy. I feel like they have too many options that, like, I got married at a time where, like, Okay, you had a few options and a good number of options, but you then had to make the best out of the option that you got. Right now, I feel like there's too many options. Like, how could you ever pick one person?
Sarah Watson 32:53
I don't know if they will. I don't I don't know if like Mayor, like marriage in the traditional sense we're used to, is going to be on the up and up continuing, because they can't afford it either.
Nick VinZant 33:04
Best piece of advice to a man, best piece of advice to a woman,
Sarah Watson 33:08
I think it's so I have two pieces of advice. Both are there, and it's for both. One is that, and I this is not my original thought in any way, in any capacity, but that pleasure is how you should be measuring your time with someone else. Is it pleasurable? Pleasure is the measure. It's from Emily nickowski, I believe. I'm not sure if she coined it or if someone before her did, but that's how we should be looking at any in any kind of erotic intimate connection with someone. Is was it pleasurable? That's not we're not measuring it by orgasm. We're not measuring it by how long. We're not measuring it by anything else, just that it was pleasurable. The second piece of advice is always, use lube. Lube makes everything better. For the love of God, use lube. I literally, like, have some behind me. I have, we have literal bowls in my office, because I want you to use lube.
Nick VinZant 34:09
Are people stubborn, like, stupidly stubborn, just like, I'm not gonna do it. The good lord intended if he made lube, he would have put it in my hand. Are people stubborn about it? Yeah, they
Sarah Watson 34:21
are, because by the time they've reached my office, right, they're in distress. And they're like, but I don't want to change, but I'm here, but I don't want to change, but I'm here, so it can be but, you know, it's being open and curious. I know I've said that a few times that will help you. And somebody like, well, I don't need lube yet. I'm like, just take a sample. You might need it. Like, it's free, like, and it's good, it's good shit. Like, we get the good stuff at our office. So the good stuff, called the good stuff that we like, we like, Uber lube. That's. Is a shiny little and it's a pretty bottle, like, pretty bottle, Uber lube, silicone, yeah, silicone based. We love that good clean love we like a lot liquid, slippery stuff. I know they have the best names. I would say, don't buy anything at the drug store or like the grocery store, the only thing that I have seen that I would recommend at the is good, clean love. You can buy that there, but want to look stuff with clean ingredients, you can always use coconut oil if you're not allergic to coconuts. If you are, don't put that in your vulva or on your penis,
Nick VinZant 35:42
wouldn't it just make it bigger?
Sarah Watson 35:46
Oh, my God. I am sure someone has
Nick VinZant 35:48
done someone has died, someone has done that. 10,000% chance someone has done
Sarah Watson 35:52
that? Yeah, I hope they write in.
Nick VinZant 35:57
Do you ever see people that just like they just do not have it. They do not have a sex drive,
Sarah Watson 36:02
yes, and that's some of the sometimes, that's why they come to me, is because they're in relationship, and they have literally no desire, like none no curiosity, they don't self pleasure, they don't have sex with their partner. There's nothing erotic about them at all. And so that's a deep dive, like, then we really got to get into things of externally, what's happening, physically, what's happening. Has there been any trauma? All of that has to be explored.
Nick VinZant 36:38
Does it ever though get down to like, you just don't have it,
Sarah Watson 36:42
yeah? I mean, it can. I've not experienced that. I There's it can, it can, it can be a thing for sure. Um, and as long as that person is okay, right, that they're secure in themselves, and they're like, Hey, this is just where I am, who I am, okay, cool, then I will support that for sure.
Nick VinZant 37:05
What do you do for people with mismatched libidos?
Sarah Watson 37:11
So we call that desire discrepancy, right, fancy term, so
Nick VinZant 37:17
that is very common that I take
Sarah Watson 37:19
super common, right? Like usually and in heteronormative relationships, it tends to be, you know, tends to be not a voice, but tends to be the man has a higher drive and curiosity for sex than the woman. So we find a middle ground, right? Like bro, you're not going to have sex three times a day, not happening, but maybe you can have sex two times a week, right? So because if she wants none, and you want it 50 times, we gotta find a middle ground, right? And then what's also preventing that partner from even thinking about it? So we all have inhibitions that stop that. And we have exciters that get us going. And so it's trying to figure out, you know, if you think about your body as like a gas and a break, we all have gas and breaks, how can we lift the break for whoever doesn't have a lot of desire, what
Nick VinZant 38:15
do you do if somebody is like, they're into something that the other person just isn't into? And the only example I can think of is because they're sitting next to me. I love to have sex on snow globes, and my wife has no desire about having sex on snow globes, right? Like, what do you do if somebody's into something? And that is just not, not my jam. We
Sarah Watson 38:38
talk about it like, I know that seems like a simple answer, but it's what is it about the snow globes that are so exciting to you, and because most of the time they haven't discussed it, it's like, hey, I want to have sex in the snow globe room. And she's like, Fuck off, right? She's like, That room is terrifying, and we talk about it first and find what, what's the meaning? What is erotic about that is there, is there a way to bring the other partner in? So could they just watch? Could they help them pleasure if they don't want to have sex? Could it be we bring one snow globe into the bedroom? You know, like there's we find a workaround, and if it's really just a hot No, then you're gonna have to self pleasure with the snow globes by yourself.
Nick VinZant 39:28
Snow globes was such a great and terrible example of it like, that's what you picked snow globes. That's what's right there. It's all I could think of. That's pretty much all the questions we got. You think we missed anything? Anything like that?
Sarah Watson 39:40
No, I don't think so. I mean, we covered a lot of ground, so it's fun. How
Nick VinZant 39:43
can people kind of get a hold of you? Learn more?
Sarah Watson 39:46
Yeah, people can get a hold of me. I am on Instagram pretty frequently. My handle there is s, x, shit. What is it? No, s, I had to change it. I'm telling you, because Instagram doesn't. Not like the word sex, so we have to, I can't put sex in anything, so it's SW, SX therapy. I can also, maybe you can put it in the show notes. I'll send, yeah. And then I have two websites. So one is for therapy in Michigan, which is Sarah Watson, lpc.com, and then I do coaching, speaking, education, sex education, and that is called simple sex education.com. That's where you can find me.
Nick VinZant 40:28
I want to thank Sarah so much for joining us. If you want to connect with her, we have linked to her on our social media accounts. We're Profoundly Pointless on Tiktok, Instagram and YouTube, and we've also included her information in the episode description. And if you want to see more of this interview, the YouTube version will be live on December 12 at 12:30pm Pacific. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw and get to the pointless part of the show. What's the longest you think you've ever kept your mouth closed in terms of not drinking, not eating, not talking,
John Shull 41:09
couple hours. Maybe,
Nick VinZant 41:11
no way, no, no way. Like I this is one of those things that once you start to think about it, you realize that you probably don't keep your mouth closed for more than five minutes at a time.
John Shull 41:22
I mean, yeah, I mean, I'll probably say 10 minutes all around. I feel like that. That might even be stretching it. I don't know if it's I don't know. So, so I'm somewhere between five and 10 minutes, if that makes any sense, I wouldn't
Nick VinZant 41:33
be shocked if someone had, like followed me around with the timer and I didn't keep my mouth closed for more than a minute the whole day,
John Shull 41:42
which says a lot, man, that's, if you think about it, that's a lot right, wear and tear on your mouth. That's
Nick VinZant 41:47
a lot of jaw and right, like you're really going, like your mouth is never closed.
John Shull 41:57
You just won't shut the up. You just will
Nick VinZant 41:59
not stop having stuff coming in or like you, there is just an endless stream of stuff going in or coming out of your mouth.
John Shull 42:09
You know, I that's fine. I
Nick VinZant 42:11
I'm trying. I
John Shull 42:12
mean, even when I sleep, I think I sleep with my mouth open, so I don't even think, to uh, to an extent, that I close my mouth while I'm sleeping, oh
Nick VinZant 42:21
yeah, dude, your mouth is just open, going non stop. Your heart and your mouth just non stop all the time.
John Shull 42:28
My heart works like three or four times what it should. So, you know,
Nick VinZant 42:33
oh yeah, dude, you you gotta start like, you've reached the age where you gotta start heading off some of these medical concerns because you're going down the road like the doctors. What if a doctor sees you walking down the road? He's like, wow, there's my meal ticket right there. Like he's gonna, he's gonna be in here for arthritis, gout, diabetes, heart issues, like you are just $1 sign walking down the road to them right now. Yeah,
John Shull 42:59
yeah. I don't know about the gout, though, but everything else you said, it's probably accurate,
Nick VinZant 43:04
you'll get it. I have a friend who got gout. Like I didn't know that they had gotten that since the 13th century, but he managed to do it so good.
John Shull 43:11
No good for him. God's pretty serious. It can can screw you up for a while.
Nick VinZant 43:16
Oh yeah, he's got, he's got lots of problems. This is
John Shull 43:19
really weird to say, but I was actually thinking about this this morning. This morning, and it kind of goes along with what you were asking me, is that when you think about what we eat in a given day, it's kind of incredible, like just the process of swallowing in general.
Nick VinZant 43:36
Oh yeah, dude. Like, if you think about anything that your body does, it's incredible.
John Shull 43:40
Wow. I feel like I should give my myself a pat in the back.
Nick VinZant 43:46
Can you reach back there? Do you, let me ask you this, do you wash your back in the shower? Like do you put soap on your back?
John Shull 43:55
No, I do not.
Nick VinZant 43:59
So it could potentially be years since your back has been cleaned with soap.
John Shull 44:04
Um, I, I'd say probably one out of every five times I have a I have like a loofah, you know, I have like a loofah stick.
Nick VinZant 44:14
It's on a stick back there, yeah. I
John Shull 44:17
mean, I, you know, I can reach, you know, I can reach up to about my shoulder blades, and then I can't go any further, like with my with my arms. So,
Nick VinZant 44:26
oh, I can. I've started soaping up the back. I realized the other day that I probably haven't washed my back in years like I should do that. This is gonna
John Shull 44:35
sound disgusting, but hey, we're why not? I remember the first time I ever luffed, and just all this shit that would came out of my pores, all, you know, the dirt, and just build up skin and all that stuff, like dried soap. It was pretty it was pretty gnarly. I'll never forget it.
Nick VinZant 44:53
Wow. You're that dirty of a person. I don't
John Shull 44:58
know about that. I just think. I sweat. I think I sweat a lot. So my pores, you know, aren't, aren't open all the time. They get clogged. So like I have to, you know, I have to loofa to open them back up, alright? Michael lodato, Richard Mason, Jay Crandall, Peshwa, Nazar Julian, Russell, Sam gandar, Alessandro jovanella, that one, that one took me a minute to make sure that I didn't screw up. Joshua Hatfield, polo, Costa Mayak, Kamar Anana, a growl. Marcus Hill, Graham Lau Vern wine, cell, or, I know he's been a long time listener. This, yes,
Nick VinZant 45:41
a way to mess up his name. Because, nice job.
John Shull 45:44
How do you I don't I wise himself, wizard burn. Just
Nick VinZant 45:48
call him Big burn. Big burn. I don't think. Don't try to pronounce people's last names.
John Shull 45:52
Jordan lardon and hey, Zeus Montezuma.
Nick VinZant 45:58
Oh, that's a good game. I came up. I came up for an alias for my wife this weekend. Let me know what you think daiquiri Tanga Ray.
John Shull 46:11
I mean, you're mixing, you're mixing a liquor and a alcoholic drink. So I would presume it has to do with that,
Nick VinZant 46:17
yeah, but I feel like that's pretty good. Now her mother's name is legally Margarita, so I thought her name could be decorateanga Ray.
John Shull 46:26
Does her mom actually like margaritas? No,
Nick VinZant 46:31
no, can't you. Can't. Do you like John's? Do you like going to the John? Do you look at a toilet and they're like, Hey fellow John.
John Shull 46:39
I mean, depends how sober I am. Hey, John, you in there, you down there, there you are. Why aren't you moving so
Nick VinZant 46:46
John's, how did John's feel about the toilet being named John?
John Shull 46:52
How did it become John? That's what I wanted. Why couldn't it be Brian or Tom or Matt? Why'd it have to be John? Seems
Nick VinZant 47:00
really common as my only assumption.
John Shull 47:06
All right, let's see, what do we I'm just thinking about like, what if it was called, like, the gonad, or the or the, you know, something just crazy that Dwayne, hey, I'm going to take, going to use the Dwayne. It just doesn't have the same thing, right? Doesn't have the same doesn't
Nick VinZant 47:23
have the same thing. The John is the best way to refer to the toilet. It's the best name for the toilet. It couldn't be the Steve, it couldn't be the Bob, it's the John. Just
John Shull 47:31
the John. Uh, alright, what do I have here? Um, guess we'll start with this one. Uh, Jay Z, apparently he's, he's getting thrown into the and I think he's been kind of named, but he, apparently, there's been official allegations now filed, you know, accusing him of sexually assaulting 13 year old. So not, not talking about that specifically. But is this, it? Is this, like, the down downfall of everyone you and I grew up like, I don't want to say idolizing, but like, Was everybody that we grew up liking listening to watching on TV? Are they just all shitheads? Is that? Is that what's going to come out in the next year and a half? Yeah, I
Nick VinZant 48:11
think so. I think that the we're just finding out. I think that we're finding out what people have always kind of known is that you don't get to the top of a position by being a nice person, or being really, even it seems like a good person, like you just don't get the those places without having a certain amount of cutthroat Ness, without willing, I think that you don't get to those kind of places without Being willing to step on other people.
John Shull 48:41
Yeah, that's, I think, like you said, I think it's cutthroat. I think, you know, I just, I think you can be a diligent, you know, business driven person, and not sexually assault kids. Now, he hasn't been convicted or anything yet, so I don't want to throw that out there, but I just, I have this weird feeling that everybody between the age of 28 and 42 are about to find out that people that we looked up to as children are going to probably not be very good people. So right that yeah, like
Nick VinZant 49:10
people at the top aren't generally nice people or good people. Yeah, just,
John Shull 49:15
just sucks. Um, what do you think? Or what are your opinions on Dick Van Dyke?
Nick VinZant 49:25
I don't even know who it is. It's a name that I have always heard the name Dick Van Dyke, but I don't know who Dick Van Dyke actually is. If you did a lineup with a bunch of people who are older than me, and I'm assuming he's in, like, his 70s, 80s or 90s, and said which one of these is Dick Van Dyke, I wouldn't know the difference. I
John Shull 49:42
mean, listen, I appreciate your honesty. I mean, I don't know how you name
Nick VinZant 49:46
great name one of the all time celebrities names, I would say that
John Shull 49:50
I just don't know how you don't, at least, even know his face. He's 99 and he was just in a music video where he dances and he says the key to you know him. Being that old as he danced every day. But now it doesn't matter, because you don't even know who he is. So I
Nick VinZant 50:05
think he danced every day at 99 years old. I mean, he may have danced mentally, but like, I mean, I mean, I'm in my early 40s, and I'm like, I'm not dancing every day, so I understand the sentiments, good luck to him.
John Shull 50:20
Alright, let's go back to the summer. Do you remember the Australian break dancer, Ray Gun? Yeah, yeah. Well, apparently a company in Australia wanted to create a musical of her, and she shut that shit down, apparently, before it even got on paper. And I understand it, because I think she kind of gets that. She's become more of a laughing point than a serious competitor now, but imagine the money you would have made. I mean, I don't get it just suck. Do you suck up your pride there, or do you take a take a firm stand like you did? I
Nick VinZant 50:58
mean, it's not like your reputation is going to get any worse. It's not like people are going to see the musical and be like, Oh, wow. I thought that she was such a great dancer before. No man play the hand that you were dealt. And if you can bluff the whole way, bluff the whole way, like, take the money. I'm
John Shull 51:17
going to do a little self admittance here to you, and I don't want you to get too excited. However I am, I think I'm starting to kind of get with you about baseball and how boring it is and awful. Over the weekend, this past weekend, there was a contract that was signed between one of the top five players in baseball for I forget the exact terms, but it was 15 years like $750 million that's insane money. And I you know baseball players, and this is where I kind of agree with you, because you've kind of said this before. Out of all the sports in the world, I'm not sure baseball player like the contracts are outrageous. There is no baseball player that should be making $300 million in a contract, let alone triple that, almost triple that, it's insane to me. It's insane
Nick VinZant 52:07
to me, and it seems ridiculous, but then I think that you always have to remember that, okay, that's a ridiculous amount of money for somebody to be getting. But if they're getting that, how much is the person who's paying them making off of them, because they're saying, all right, we're going to pay you seven 50 million. So what are we making off of you? A billion, 5 point five billion. So there's where I'm like, man, they really don't deserve that. But it's not like, take what you can get right. Like the other person's just going to make that money off of you, so at least give it to the person who's doing the work.
John Shull 52:42
Yeah, I mean, don't, don't get me wrong. One Juan Soto is his name, and he, I mean, good for him. Man, get, get what you know the market says you're worth but man, I just, I don't know how baseball sustains itself. I don't know where, you know where they're getting the money to pay, pay people like this. Oh, that's what's
Nick VinZant 53:01
crazy to me, that they make that amount of money. I didn't realize how they may make that amount of money off it.
John Shull 53:07
Yeah, let's see the last last thing here, Tiktok. Apparently it's all but going to be banned come the new year in the United States. I don't really care. I kind of wish they would ban most social media, if not all of it. Feel like we all would be better off, but that's my old man rant for now. My
Nick VinZant 53:27
problem with my problem with it, is kind of the hypocrisy related to things like, Okay, if we're going to say this, then what are we also not saying? And you seem to be picking on the things that the kids up today, so to speak, used to spread information, right? So, like, how much? Like, oh, tick tock. So bad, yeah. But how much of that is because Facebook and Instagram and YouTube are lobbying the crap out of you, right? Like, okay, like, no, it's, it's, it's, it goes back to the idea that it's never to me about what somebody is doing. It's always about who's doing it. The US government and American companies can collect our information left and right in every single detail about us, but as soon as somebody else does it, somehow, now that's a problem, right? Like, so American companies can get it and sell it to whoever, but if another company does it, it's a problem. Like, it's just all kind of fake. To me. I don't care about the social media aspect about it. I just care about the idea that, like, okay, they're doing it, it's a problem, but this other company doing the exact same thing somehow isn't a problem. The hypothesis what gets me
John Shull 54:35
hold everyone at the same standard and maybe things would be a little better off,
Nick VinZant 54:39
yeah, just like, keep it all the same. Keep it all the same, as opposed to jumping back and forth and back and, you know, those kind of things, yeah.
John Shull 54:48
Well, last thing, because I am the candle kind of sewer. Oh, here we go. This is my and I think it should be said, but I felt like I had to say this. Get out there. Because I've been to a couple of stores the past few few days, and there are fantastic deals on good quality candles. Now, you know, this is online. This is at the big box stores. Now is the time to get some good deals on some good candles. If, if you're looking for em,
Nick VinZant 55:17
any particular recommendations, besides the candle of the month. Where did you see the best sales? Give the people some information.
John Shull 55:24
The best sale that I took part of the that I can, that I would recommend, is over at Michaels. If you have a Michaels near you, the craft store. I forget the exact price, but I think it was like, three for $9 and they were like, good, you know, probably 16 to 25 ounce candles, three wicks, winter cents, three for $9 is, is a good deal. And, you know, Bath and Body Works, have, you know, I think they had, like a buy one, get one, that'll come back around. Just, you know, if you want some, if you want some good deals on candles, now is the time
Nick VinZant 56:08
to do it. Oh, who doesn't want a good deal on candles? You want to talk about the United Healthcare CEO? You want to skip that?
John Shull 56:15
Well, I mean, we can. We can discuss it if you really want to. I don't really
Nick VinZant 56:20
want to get into the politics of it. What I'm fascinated by is how the media elites, so to speak, or the elites of the country, seem to be so shocked that people weren't sad about this.
John Shull 56:36
I mean, I don't know how we're going to straddle the line here, but I there's, you know, in my in my opinion, that's the disconnect between the upper 1% the people who own these companies, run these companies, and we're the ones who have to deal with the repercussions of their decisions when they don't even, obviously, have a grasp of what we deal with as middle America. Obviously, it's sad that he was shot and killed. You know, he had a family, all that stuff. It's terrible. It's tragic. But, I mean, for some, but for another billionaire to sit there and and publicly come out and say, Man, I thought there'd be more of a, you know, of a of a of a care that somebody was just assassinated on a New York Street. I mean, that just shows the disconnect. I mean, you know, he represented a company of, what, 28% of all health care in this country. I mean, yeah, and what's he I'm not saying he nothing bad should have happened to him, you know, but, but, I mean, for someone, for multiple people at that level, to think that people were just going to be empathetic, I mean, that that just shows the disconnect to me,
Nick VinZant 57:42
totally out of touch. Like, totally out of touch, the stuff that I've seen from the national media, stuff where, like, I can't believe that people aren't upset about this, well, then you've never actually talked to real people. Like, I don't think that people were like, yeah. I
John Shull 57:57
mean, it's a, you know, once, I guess, because we're going down this road, it's, you know, it's CNN, of all networks, was in Syria, showing the fall of the Assad regime. And people like, there was no reaction. They were like, formulating reactions. Like, people are very hyper local, right? Like they care about themselves, per se, not necessarily other things. And I feel like that that's directly like the 1% it just for us, like the 1% so that makes the decisions. Like, I don't know you want to, you want to think that something tragic like this would would have reverberations, like, maybe something would change, maybe some eyes will be opened. But unfortunately, it's probably not going to happen.
Nick VinZant 58:39
I don't want this to sound like it's tied too directly to what happened with the CEO, but I do feel like 2025, is the year of F around and find out.
John Shull 58:49
It's scary and it's so they, for all of you that are maybe are listening to this, and I'm sure this has gotten out there by now, by the time this comes out, so they, I think they caught the guy that did this, and it sounds like this guy's just going to end up being like a disgruntled person who literally profiled the CEO and, you know, assassinated him. It wasn't a hit. Remember when I first came out? People were like, Oh, this is some kind of Mafia hit or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just one guy. They think, no, I could be wrong. So I want to preface this with saying I could be wrong, but it sounds like it's just some guy whose uncle died of cancer and he was upset with the the health care system, so he, you know, it's insane. It's going to
Nick VinZant 59:29
be interesting to see, like, the ultimate Fallout, in the sense that, like, Okay, this guy's going to get a lot of attention, and there's going to be a media trial, and all of the situations involving him are going to come out. So like all of this is going to keep going, but before we get ourselves in trouble, are you ready? Are you ready to move on? The
John Shull 59:47
only thing I want to add, one thing, because this is what there's one thing I don't understand about the whole situation, and I think it's a good question to be asked, is that, if you are that CEO of the largest healthcare company in America, um. Or with the, you know, the highest numbers, and you have security assigned to you. Why, you know, why would you take that chance? Why would you walk alone, especially in the streets of New York City? Obviously, it doesn't matter now, because of what happened, but you know that that's where, that's like, a question that I've always asked, like, that's what security is there for.
Nick VinZant 1:00:20
Because I think that those kind of people and we're casting massive aspersions, right? And what do I really know about these people's lives? But I think that people like that have no clue how the rest of society sees them. I don't think, I think that they're surrounded by the people who only tell them good job. They're surrounded by the people who only kiss their butt and don't really know or care how other people that they may view as being less than them feel about them. Like, what are the what? What are these poor people gonna do? Well,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:54
yeah, I mean,
Nick VinZant 1:00:56
are you getting a phone call right now?
John Shull 1:00:58
No, no, I was not getting then,
Nick VinZant 1:01:01
what are you doing?
John Shull 1:01:02
I was just opening up our YouTube to see
Nick VinZant 1:01:05
okay, all right. Well, thanks for paying attention.
John Shull 1:01:09
I was paying attention, but I was freaking ads. Man. Ruined it for me.
Nick VinZant 1:01:14
Oh, sorry about that. Sorry about that, Buttercup. I like to call people Buttercup now. Okay, are you ready for a top five I am.
John Shull 1:01:21
I also want to know when my face is getting increasingly redder as this episode goes on,
Nick VinZant 1:01:28
probably some massive health concern that you'll get denied for.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:33
Wow. Anyways, let's just move on.
Nick VinZant 1:01:35
So our top five is top five decor. Our top five is top five Christmas decorations, the decorations themselves. What's your number five?
John Shull 1:01:46
It's a classic and but I didn't want to put it on there, but I just feel like it has to be on there, and that is the stocking.
Nick VinZant 1:01:54
Okay? I think that's a little high for a stocking. I think stocking should be lower on list, but definitely, definitely needs to be included. My number five is inflatables. The only reason I don't have inflatables higher is because they can be hit or miss, but if you hit, Oh, I love a good inflatable man, big snowman, big Santa, reindeer, inflatables are great. It's
John Shull 1:02:19
definitely, I'll get back to him. Let me put it that way.
Nick VinZant 1:02:22
Okay, do you want to come into the camera? Do you feel I'm trying into it? I'm out of focus?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:31
There we go. It's
Nick VinZant 1:02:33
a better way out of focus. No. Oh, too. Too close to the best. Too. Sorry.
John Shull 1:02:39
My number four is, is a Christmas Village?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:44
Oh, okay,
Nick VinZant 1:02:45
I'm alright with that. I'm not going to put it higher than a stocking. That's ridiculous.
John Shull 1:02:51
Christmas villages are fun because, you know, you can make them your own. And how many times have you walked into a house where there's been a Christmas Village and you stop. You just want to see what's in it, right? Like you always stop. You never just walk past it.
Nick VinZant 1:03:05
Never, never. In my mind have I ever been like, I really want to see this Christmas Village. The only reason that I'm going to look at somebody's Christmas Village is if I've ran out of people to talk to it wherever I'm at and need to pretend like I'm doing something else and not just standing there awkwardly.
John Shull 1:03:23
Okay, alright. That's, I mean, that's fair. That's, maybe I'm weird. Maybe I'm in the 1% of people that like looking at Christmas villages. I don't know. So
Nick VinZant 1:03:30
mine, mine reports, is Santa hat. Santa hat, just, just a little simple Santa hat. You know what I'm gonna wear, Santa hat to work today.
John Shull 1:03:38
Okay, alright. I don't know if that's a decoration that's more of like a clothing item, but okay,
Nick VinZant 1:03:44
it's a decoration for the body
John Shull 1:03:48
or a piece of clothing, whatever. It's fine. Um, okay, my number three, I went with the things that I hate to admit I kind of like, and those are inflatables.
Nick VinZant 1:03:59
Yeah, you know, you like inflatables. And
John Shull 1:04:03
for those of you who haven't listened to this podcast the last six years, tell us my father in law, uh, comes up here to Michigan, where I live. He lives in Florida, and he proceeds to put up. I mean, he probably put up between 12 and 25 inflatables in my yard. And the reason that I don't have a direct number is because some of them are duplicates. Some of them are so big that they look like they could be multiples, I don't really know. But then he leaves, and then I have to take them out when it's, you know, the ground is frozen solid, and it's six degrees in February. So I detest them. I guess I appreciate him, but I detest inflatables. But once again, they have to be on the list.
Nick VinZant 1:04:43
Can you please share a picture of what your house looks like with all these inflatables out front? Is anybody else? Does any of your neighbors have inflatables? Or do you look like the lone crazy person in the neighborhood? Like there's all these blank houses and then there's this dude? Well,
John Shull 1:04:57
it's kind of weird. So I live in a cul de sac, actually. Actually, and every house has lights good, and now every house has at least one inflatable, except for the new neighbors that moved in this past summer. And I think that's because they don't, they don't know yet, you know, like they'll find out. I can see Bonnie and you know, Brian over there looking at my house every night, going, we need to get at least one inflatable, because we look out of touch.
Nick VinZant 1:05:22
I chastise the wife didn't have near as I like. She got new Christmas lights, but didn't get a new inflatable. Didn't get anything for the front yard. I was a little upset about that. I'm slowly becoming Griswold.
John Shull 1:05:33
I can, I can mail you many. Do you want me to mail you some?
Nick VinZant 1:05:38
No, I don't want your crappy second hand inflatables. I want my new inflatables. Come
John Shull 1:05:42
on. I can give you the Hulk. I give you the minions. I got fucking Blues Clues out there. You
Nick VinZant 1:05:48
have the Hulk as an inflatable Christmas decoration.
John Shull 1:05:51
Yeah, it's, I don't he's, he's like, he has, like, a Christmas present in one hand, and he's like, has a Santa hat on. I don't know. Man, I have no idea.
Nick VinZant 1:06:00
Some people just like to buy crap, like just, I got these $5 man, I'm going to spend it no matter what I do. People like to buy crap. Okay, what number we on?
John Shull 1:06:10
I think it's your number three stockings.
Nick VinZant 1:06:13
Okay, alright,
John Shull 1:06:16
I'm guessing our two, our top two are the same thing? Yeah,
Nick VinZant 1:06:22
they have to be but it's going to be really big. Which one that you decide is the second and which one you decide is the first. So what's your number two?
John Shull 1:06:29
My number two are Christmas lights. Yeah,
Nick VinZant 1:06:31
what was okay? So my number two is Christmas lights. Also, which makes number one
John Shull 1:06:39
the Christmas tree, Christmas
Nick VinZant 1:06:42
tree. What was your justification for putting Christmas tree ahead of Christmas lights?
John Shull 1:06:46
Oh, I lights are like inflatables. To me. I detest them. I detest putting them up. I detest taking them down. They look kind of cool, like we have, we have this big pine tree in my front yard, so we like do it up for the neighborhood, like that looks kind of cool. But once again, I don't want to have to take them down in in February or the end of January, like, I just don't want to do it. It looks kind of cool when there's snow on the ground, you know, and the colors reflect off the snow and the eyes. But other than that, it's a lot of work for very little payoff.
Nick VinZant 1:07:18
Can you also send me that video. You falling on the ice. I love it. You had shorts on.
John Shull 1:07:24
That's such a that's such a, yeah, hey, we went to do it was, it was 45 degrees this past Sunday. Now, you know, I was out,
Nick VinZant 1:07:33
My God, doing errands, and I'm going to start going, I'm going to start going, ding. Every time you bring up the weather, you are turning into an old man who brings up the weather all the time.
John Shull 1:07:46
That's fair. That's fair.
Nick VinZant 1:07:48
You know you want to talk about it right now. How much do you tell me what the weather is right now? Do you know the exact degree that it is? No, right now. No. 42 See, I don't know what degree it is here in Seattle right now. I don't I mean,
John Shull 1:08:04
this is a big, this is a bigger issue. Nick, okay, and now I'm gonna go on a 32nd round, because we watch this movie on Netflix, some Christmas movie, and these parents get stranded because of a snowstorm, and their kids basically, you know, Santa can't come the night of Christmas because all the parents aren't home to deliver gifts, right or put out gifts. What's the name of the movie? I guess I can. I can look it up.
Nick VinZant 1:08:30
Is it on new on Netflix? Yeah, I think I was watching that same movie. But to be honest with you, I was pretty high while I was doing it, so I didn't know exactly what was I completely forgot that I even watched it. Oh, I watched it with my son. Yet last year, I don't remember at all
John Shull 1:08:46
that Christmas is what it's called, yeah, yeah. Anyways, it's so but, but, but, like none of them checked the weather before they left their children on Christmas Eve to know there was a snowstorm coming. I mean, come on, man, come on, man, team. Irresponsible
Nick VinZant 1:09:03
parenting. Every day should start and end with checking the weather. You should check the weather on an hourly basis. Is that how you feel?
John Shull 1:09:12
I have alerts. I have Google in the morning. First thing I get in the morning is Google going, Good morning, John. It is 430 in the morning. The weather is going to be so and so with a chance of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Nick VinZant 1:09:24
Wait, do you wake up to that? But then aren't you sleeping through half of the alert?
Speaker 1 1:09:31
No, man, I don't. I'm awake.
Nick VinZant 1:09:36
I have never really understood how you can be woken up by a sound and consciously hear the sound. Like, weren't you asleep? Like, how did you hear the sound asleep and then be woken up for that? Does this make any sense what I'm talking about? Like, you remember hearing the sound, but you were asleep. So how did you hear the sound? I mean, I know how you did it, but you like, consciously. Anyway,
John Shull 1:09:59
yeah. Anyways, you have anything on your album, mention wreaths.
Nick VinZant 1:10:03
I don't mind a good wreath. I'm okay with a Christmas Village. I guess it's all right. I don't mind candle candy canes. Like good candy canes. Luminaries are a big I I'm a big fan of luminaries. Luminaries
John Shull 1:10:18
are nice. Obviously, my number one would have been Christmas candles. However, you know, I had to be realistic. Um,
Nick VinZant 1:10:24
oh, did we ever give a reason, and I just interrupted you, but that's okay for sure. Yeah, that's fine. I do. I did interrupt. Yeah, I'm becoming an interrupter.
John Shull 1:10:32
Yeah, you're becoming an open see, and I just want to talk about effing weather.
Nick VinZant 1:10:38
We never gave that my well, at least I didn't give a justification for why I think Christmas tree belongs along Christmas before Christmas lights, I'd like Christmas lights better, but I think the tree is what ultimately symbolizes Christmas more than any other decoration.
John Shull 1:10:55
Okay? I mean, I, yeah, I mean, I, to me, it's more about the esthetics, like Christmas tree, you put in the work and it just looks good because, like, the whole family did it, and it's kind of representative of your life and your family
Nick VinZant 1:11:12
doing well. Said you've been even you've been spitting this whole episode. You didn't stutter during the shout outs. You made sense with the healthcare thing.
John Shull 1:11:21
It's because I'm sober, because we're recording it a couple hours earlier than we normally do. Oh,
Nick VinZant 1:11:25
good, good, good. What's the weather report for tomorrow? Wait, don't look at your phone. Don't look at your phone. Yep, I'm not. Let me see if you can tell me. I'm gonna check really quick here. I'm gonna search Detroit or actually, sorry, Madison, heights. John does not live in Detroit, although he claims to live in Detroit, but he is a poser and a fraud. High temperature for Madison Heights tomorrow. What is it? Don't look. You're looking. I'm
John Shull 1:11:52
not. I was going to say something in the microphone. You ruin it. You can say something
Nick VinZant 1:11:55
in your microphone. You don't have to get right next to it. You can, you don't have to go like this. You can it. Can hear you. So
John Shull 1:12:00
it's high temperature tomorrow. It's going to be a little it's supposed to be cooler than it was today, so I'm going to go 42
Nick VinZant 1:12:08
mm. You got the cooler than it was today, correct, but it's going to be 46 on Tuesday, incorrect, close. But ultimately, not a meteorologist. So I'm going to end this whole thing here. Now it's going
John Shull 1:12:19
to be dry.
Nick VinZant 1:12:20
Oh, okay, that's gonna go ahead and do it for this episode of Profoundly Pointless. I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, leave us a quick review. We really appreciate it, and let us know what you think is the best Christmas decoration. I do think that Christmas lights are better, like I like Christmas lights more, but it's really hard not to put the tree at number one. I.