Her hand, paddles, ceiling fans, boat oars. You name it and Professional Disciplinarian Miss Kelley May has spanked or been spanked with it. We sit down with the Headmistresses of Spanking University to talk spanking, discipline and accepting who you are. Then, we countdown the Top 5 Regional Restaurants.
Miss Kelley May: 01:15
Pointless: 49:33
Top 5 Regional Restaurants: 01:04:11
Interview with Professional Disciplinarian Miss Kelley May
0:11
Welcome to Profoundly Pointless. My name is Nick VinZant Coming up in this episode spanking and regional restaurant,
0:20
and there's this association of a feeling like, I'm not supposed to tell anybody about this. And I don't think that I'm supposed to be interested in this. But I am this idea of like, you're in trouble and you're gonna get punished. That element is really compelling and very popular to a lot of people. I've spent people with ludicrous things I spend someone with fire hose, it's thinks someone with a ceiling fan tricks with photo doors.
0:47
I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, subscribe, leave us a rating or review. We really appreciate it. It really helps us out. If you're a new listener. Welcome to the show. If you're a longtime listener, thank you so much for all of your support. So our first guest is a professional disciplinarian and the headmistress of spanking University. This is Miss Kelly, May. Were you always drawn to this, or did that kind of happen later on?
1:21
No. So I've always been interested in spankings, specifically in my fetish. So it's you'll find that's very typical of people that identify as fetishists. So people that have a specific interest, a lot of us remember thinking about it and being interested in it in childhood as early as like five years old. At that point, you don't know what it is, right? You don't think, Oh, I have this sexual interest. You're just like, Oh, I'm like, interested in this I, we talked about looking at up in the dictionary a lot. So being like a dictionary kid, like, you'd look up the word spanking in the dictionary and all the sort of associated words, if it came on on a cartoon, or in a book you're reading, you'd kind of be like, and there's this association of a feeling like, I'm not supposed to tell anybody about this. And I don't think that I'm supposed to be interested in this. But I am. And then kind of as you grow older, and you hit puberty, you start connecting some dots here. There are some people that will come to this later in life, you know that. But I'd say for people that are what we call like an obligatory fetishist, or an exclusive fetishist. Somebody who like their fetishes, their whole sexuality, often and usually will have noticed it in childhood. I'm not necessarily because of a trauma or anything like that. I was not spanked as a kid, you'll find that, statistically speaking, it's about the normal average of whether people were or weren't spanked as a kid. So like you
2:51
were drawn to it even before you were kind of sexually attracted to the idea of sex like this was this thing and then,
2:59
so I'm not interested in sex, and I have never been interested in sex. So, um, but yes, but I understand in the sense of like, it is pre sexual. Yes, it is a interest that precedes like a sexual awakening. But I have no interest in vanilla sex, what I what I would consider a call vanilla sex, right? Sex that doesn't contain spanking or any sort of thing. To a lot of people when they hear about fetishes or kinks or BDSM or spanking all these things, they kind of assume that it's like dessert, right? It's the or an appetizer, right? And it's the whole meal.
3:41
You're not interested in just missionary. Hey, I got five minutes. Let's do this. Like this is the whole thing.
3:50
Yes. So that like missionary sort of set like that has zero interest, zero out of 10. I think a friend of mine who also does like spanking discussions in education work. And the way she talks about it is like, what is the thing you think about when you masturbate? Right, like, and most people think about sex in some capacity. Right? I don't think about sex at all. I have never thought about sex masquerading. It's always been thinking. If that makes sense.
4:21
It does. It does. What is it about it?
4:26
That's a question for the ages. Right? So I don't it's everything so it's the details. It's the nuance. So I kind of the way I describe speaking as being made up of four components specifically. So they are discipline, power, pain and humiliation and some combination of Those things via spanking is the interest. And whether like so when I was younger, it was very discipline driven, I was really into the idea of like, being in trouble and being punished. I had very toxic love with the idea of discipline and being fixed stuff like someone's rescuing and something saving me. And then sometimes I'll be really into the idea of somebody else just being in control as a top. I love humiliation. I like being in control as well. And then there's the aspect of this hurts. This is a physical sensation to it, right? There's a masochism sadism element to it. But what it is that I like about it is an odd question in the sense of it's, it's everything about it. Um, I can't imagine not being interested in it. So therefore, like, individual aspects of it aren't more appealing than others.
5:55
I like all of it, not necessarily one single aspect of it. Now, do people seem to assume one role generally, like I'm either the spanker or the Spanky, or? Yeah, we'll kind of go back.
6:07
No, that's a good question. So I forgot you, you said you didn't have any background knowledge. And that's, that's totally fine. So you're typically one of three orientations. So you're either a bottom, which is the person getting spanked, you're the top or the person doing this thinking, or you're a switch, which is what I am, which means you do either roll and you like both roles. So I often think a lot of fetishes or switches, because in some ways, I just love the act. I love the thing itself. In some ways more than I love my orientation to it. This is gonna sound really wild. So like male male platonic discipline, spanking is my favorite. Like, that is the laugh. That is the chef's kiss my favorite thing. I am not involved in that scene. Even a little bit. Like I have no interest in it. But I love it desperately. Because I love it is a perfect representation of, of speaking in my fetish. But then, for example, my husband is a top and he's only a top. And then plenty of people are bottoms and only bottoms. So I just want to be involved. I just like it. And so I sometimes say I'm a bisexual switch. I'm not indecisive, I'm greedy. I just want to do all of the things I
7:28
want to do everything. Yeah, doesn't matter what it is. I'm down.
7:32
I'm in I'm here for it. Now is
7:35
that okay? Do men and women do they tend to assume traditionally, a certain role like usually a man is this usually a woman is this like, fall along those kinds of lines,
7:46
you will find more male tops and more female bottoms. Those are the the, if somebody is just the top, it is almost always a male. If someone is just about him, it is often a woman. But there are lots of male bottoms, there are fewer female tops. There's a lot of female switches, though. There's a discussion going on in our community right now about how women, especially as they age are more valued by our community as switches than they are as just bottoms. So there's a bit of an incentive for women to start topping as they get older. And there still is some stereotyping against male bottoming, right. So there is still unfortunately a bit of stigma. So guys that will top like big, primarily top. But even if they really wanted to bottom, they might not ever do it. Because there is sometimes there can be the association of like, oh, you're not a real top.
8:50
Oh, yeah, like just can't you? You can't do it at all. You got it?
8:54
Yeah, there's a it's a very kind of like gross misogyny of this idea of like, the alpha male, and like the submissive female. And if the alpha male were to submit in some capacity to someone, then he would no longer be the alpha.
9:09
When do you kind of when do you go from like, I'm married my wife and I like, give her a little pat on the bottom. But when does going from a pat on the bottom to like spanking to like, whoa, that's some spanking. Like, where did how does this progress?
9:25
That's a great question. So I'd say you're sort of like typical average, like, beginner, spanking would be with just with a hand over someone's knee, like on a sofa or in a chair and probably on bare bottom. So that close and go for a minute or two, like a couple of minutes to the point that the bottom would be feeling kind of like worming and in pain, but Not so much pain that they're trying to get away. If that makes sense, there's, it's the phrase to spanking, it's supposed to hurt, right? Like that always is gonna apply. But you can definitely do speaking at a level of just casual, playful, not taking very long. And just kind of you wind up with a nice warm, rosy feeling and you're happy and gone to like, you know, I can beat someone with a strap for an hour. So, like, I could take a belt to somebody for like, an hour. Um, there's a huge range in the middle. And it all depends on kind of what you're going for some of the time, if you're going for a role play, right? If you're going for discipline, seeing if you're going for the idea of like, you've been naughty, and you're gonna get punished. You kind of do this thinking as it fits the scene in a way, right. So like, it wouldn't make sense. If I'm scolding somebody say for like, you know, if I'm pretending to be a professor, and scolding somebody for not turning in an assignment, it's not going to make a lot of sense for me to bust out like five paddles and two straps and a cane and like, go for an hour spanking them, it'll make more sense for me to do like a contained scene that takes 510 minutes, right, maybe 1520 minutes if you include all the scolding in the end the before. Um, but if what somebody's going for is one of the things you can try to get, which is very BDSM concept, rather than the spanking concept of subspace and endorphins, basically, like, when you were in pain, your body floods your brain with endorphins. It's what happens when you run. Like when people get runner's high. It's just your body being like, I have some endorphins, you're doing something very silly. And so you can make you can like, create that feeling. In which case, that'd be like a longer a longer scene. In reality, a spanking scene is primarily not the spanking. It's the scolding the lead up the rituals of all the things and then a bit of the like aftercare and the comfort and the cuddles and the forgiveness. And the spanking can sometimes take up very little of it. Like the physical action, or it can take up a ton of it. That means, does that make any sense?
12:31
It does, it's the whole situation, right? It's the you're gonna get spang I'm about to do it. You're in trouble. You're comes during your lesson, right? I kind of get that.
12:42
Exactly. Yeah, that I think that's where a lot of times people that aren't into thinking or aren't into any fetish, right? It's those details that people that are like obsessed. It's I mean, it's the way people that have a hobby. And then there's you meet somebody that like has like an obsession with this hobby, right? And you're like, oh, yeah, I'm into, I don't know, Pokemon or something. And then somebody's like, Oh, do you know about this, like, third generation with like card that only you can get? Like, you know what I mean, where it's like, really, really detailed. And so fetishists are like that about the, okay, you're gonna come into the room, I'm going to be sitting here. And then I'm going to confront you. And I'm going to ask you questions like, Where were you? Where have you been? And you're going to come over here, and I'm going to sit with you, and I'm going to look at you and be like, That's unacceptable behavior. And I'm going to lecture you about it, then I'm going to stand you up. And then I'm going to do, I'm going to have you put, I'm going to take down your giant, I'm going to take down your jeans, or I'm going to make you take down your jeans or like those details are what keeps us up at night. You're
13:49
acting out a fantasy.
13:51
Yeah, so for roleplay a lot of times it is it's like acting out a fantasy. Most bang goes a lot of singles, you'll find are really into the idea of, of real discipline of domestic discipline of being spanked for real life things and being punished for real life things. I very complicated feelings about this. That is my fetish as well, like I have that core interest. I'm not convinced it's like good for anybody are good for us. But in which case, you're going through the idea of like, I have done something wrong, and someone is going to hold me accountable for the thing that I have done wrong and punish me for it.
14:24
That would be the one question that I would have. Right? And maybe this comes from my kind of a more traditional background is a sense that let's say you're like married with kids, right? Like, how do you go from doing that to like, Alright, we gotta go pick up the kids at school. Like, can people have that kind of turn it on? Turn it off? Air quotes normal life? Yeah. Or is this like, No, you're in it. And this is, this is the core of your relationship?
14:49
That's a really good question. So I find that in practice, most people turn it on and turn it off. Eventually. So Oh, the fantasies that you live it 24/7. And in the beginning, you can, when you're at the beginning of your relationship, and everything is new and shiny, and you have that new relationship energy that everybody gets, right, everybody gets a new relationship. It's just like the honeymoon phase, right? Where you have sex all the time. And then vanilla people don't you know, you're not just gonna, like, go have sex on a random Tuesday at 3pm. Because you gotta go pick up the kids. Right? It's the, it can have that sort of element to it. And discipline is one of the ways that this falls apart in real life. Because in fantasy, a top is perfect. In the fantasy the top never messes up. In the fantasy the top is infallible. And in real life, that's not how it works. Yeah. And so sometimes it can be hard if you're like, Oh, I'm in trouble for doing this. But I'm kind of annoyed at you, because you didn't take out the trash yesterday. And you said you were going to take out the trash and like,
15:58
it ruins it. Yeah, it ruins it, it affects it,
16:01
it affects it, exactly. It affects it. And so spanking can end up with people that are in long term relationships and committed relationships, people that have families, things like that, it can kind of become more of that. Fantasy, or roleplay, or one off thing the way sex is for most people in a married couple, right? It's like, oh, we have a weekend away. Like, let's go. Yeah. So it becomes more like that. Whereas there are people that you know, if they're single, or they're live their life will try to live 24/7. But I find the people that typically say that they live 24/7 either don't or are, don't actually live with their partner 24/7 that they'll be long distance. Yeah, that
16:49
would be a hard thing. And I'll like speak from my personal like, I couldn't imagine like, putting my wife over my knee for an hour and then being like, All right, we gotta go do the grocery shopping. Like, I wouldn't know how that would. Yeah, that would work.
17:04
In those situations, that would usually be more of like a two minutes sort of situation, right? So like that I've done with my husband, where it's like, oh, I want a spanking. And we've got like, 20 minutes, like, I can take, I can get a few snacks and feel like, Oh, that felt nice, I feel happy. Like we did, we had a little bit of connection, and a little bit of like something quick and fun. And then we can go get groceries. But ya know, we don't have the big elaborate role plays that we used to do. When we first got together, where, you know, we'd text about it for a week and then be like, okay, so you're going to be an American revolutionary Guardsmen. And I'm going to be you know, and you have this really elaborate thing. And now it's like, Hey, can you think do you give me a spanking? Like? And he's like, Yeah, that sounds nice. Or it's like, oh, I put on a pretty dress. And it's like, so in some ways, we're just like, vanilla is the, it's just like sex in that sense,
18:02
right? Like, everything becomes normalized after a certain amount of time. But then I would imagine that this is the thing that can go too far.
18:09
Yes, so explain what you mean by that.
18:12
Somebody getting hurt. The nice thing about spanking
18:15
compared to other BDSM things is it's not particularly dangerous, right. So rope, like bondage, which is a really common thing for people to kind of, like casually try out is if they're like, dabbling into kinkiness is actually wildly dangerous. And people just think it's like, really entry level, and it's actually deeply, deeply not thinking, on the other hand, is pretty entry level. Because like, especially if you're using your hand, it hurts your hand. So it's actually difficult to hit someone harder, like hard enough to cause them damage that wouldn't also cause you damage.
18:53
Yeah, that makes sense, right? You can only do it so hard,
18:56
right? But if you start using implements, you can definitely cause injury and I think that there is there comes up to a level of like so we call it risk aware consensual kink rack. It's this idea that all can can all fetish work with all things like this that involve pain and are inherently risky. I'm asking somebody to hurt me. But just right. I want you to hurt me exactly the way I want you to hurt me. But I can't really tell you what that is. I just kind of need you to know it. And learning those communication skills of how to articulate what it is that you want from a seen versus what you don't you talk about limits a lot and swinging and in kink in general, you'll say. So, I have a limit against this implement in this implement or this type of scene. I have a limit about like, broken skin. I don't play at the bottom like on broken skin. I don't like bruises either. Some people don't have those limits, right. So coming to terms with whatever it is that you are willing to do and how much risk you are willing to take and understanding what the risks are that are inherent, like I said, spanking is relatively low risk, as far as BDSM goes, right. But a caning, which is like a very traditional British form of spanking, with like a rod, like a cane is much higher risk, like you could you could do some damage, like, like you could you could hurt someone with that, right. And so knowing what those risks are, so that you're able to consent to them or not is as the bottom is really important. And as a top, it's just critical that people learn how to do stuff properly. There's a lot of technique to it, and being technically competent is a is a thing. Something I really value.
20:46
Where would you say, on the level of like one being like, oh, like pat on the bottom, like 10? I'm getting a running start with a hockey stick and SWAC and right, like, Where Where would you say that most people are on that kind of level? Like when somebody is interested in this enjoys this? How far do they usually go?
21:09
Like a five? Like I'd say most people play it. So that's actually a really good question. And I so I actually asked people this when I said, Should I use a zero to 10 scale of how much something hurts. And I usually people want to stay between like four and six. If I want to push someone, if they want to punishment seen if they want to feel like something really hurt, I might briefly take it up to like a seven or an eight, right? And kind of like push them into a spot where it's like, I'm this hurt, they don't like it, and then pull them back down. But there there are people who are like, No, take a running start at like, hit me with a two
21:49
by four. Seems like a really hard. Yeah, it was
21:53
it does go for it. I mean, some of it is about pain tolerance, right? So some of it is personal, like how much pain can you take? And how well do you process pain. And then some of it is just like interest, right? So if somebody is really obsessed with paddles, and hard paddling things, that that's going to be what you're going to do, even if you have a low pain tolerance. But somebody who has a high pain tolerance, but doesn't like the idea of implements at all, we'll just not use them. So does that make any sense? I'd say the majority people are in the middle where it's like, most people like a hard hand spanking and the occasional hairbrush or belt,
22:33
get this may be a little bit personal, right? So then after after you do a spanking, right? Well, then, do you then have sex afterwards? Or is there just there's no sex involved in this at all.
22:42
For the most part, there is no sex involved in this at all. That is not true for everybody. So there are thinkers who like to have sex after or do sexy things, you know, even if it's not traditional sex to do sex, things after I have sometimes enjoyed doing sexy times after spanking. But typically, like a traditional quote unquote spanking scene is like build up spanking and then what we call aftercare because you are full of endorphins, and you're full of floaty fields, and hypothetically, scenes can get very emotional if they have to do with forgiveness or shame or guilt. And people can cry. There's a lot of pain. And so then comforting somebody and holding somebody and letting them come down through that space. And connecting in that moment is a really important part of a scene. So usually intense scenes will end in that and not in sex, but it can in index.
23:53
So if if it doesn't go then is it sexual? Because to me that kind of sounds like ordering a meal and not eating it.
24:01
Yeah, so whether or not spanking is sexual is a hot, hotly contested debate in the thinking period. I am firmly on the stance that it is because because I'm not interested in vanilla sex, there's a there's a phrase use kind of to describe sex in non PIB situations, right. So when you don't just have a man and a woman having sex? What is sex? What is what is two women having sex look like? Right, that sort of question. And the idea is, it's the farthest it's the farthest you could go with any individual person, like the most you could do with someone the most you would be willing to do right. And so if sex is off the table for me, because sex is not of interest to me, the only thing that I'm interested in doing is thinking so how so doing a spanking scene with someone is inherently sexual. But it's not inherently okay. This is going to Get really in the weeds. So tell me if this is like it to BPD it kind
25:03
of sounds like it changes your definition of sex. Oh, like maybe I don't have sex, but this is sex free.
25:09
Yes. So this is sex for me. And certain types of spanking are more intimate than others. For me personally. So discipline scenes are deeply deeply intimate for me. And age play scenes, the scenes where like, my partner's, my, my, my husband has lived with me, and I call him daddy sometimes. So like, those sorts of scenes with that sort of intimacy are very impactful for me. So those are scenes that say, like, I won't share with other people, so I'm not comfortable with him doing with other people. And I don't do them with other people. Because that is the thing that I consider to be like sex. But like that is the farthest quote unquote, that I will go that is the most intimate that I get. And then if I just were to give someone like a playful spanking, or to receive a playful spanking, it's still sexual. The way that like making out with someone is sexual, or touching someone's boob is sexual, but it's not sex.
26:07
So how popular would you say that this is
26:11
pretty popular. So spanking is one of the most common fetishes. So your most common fetishes are going to be bondage spanking, feet, usually, and any form of sort of like humiliation?
26:29
That's like, what would it be above feet? Because when I think of like, okay, fetishes that I've heard about, and oh, it's like, up there, it's above feet,
26:38
it's above feet. Well, it feet is complicated, because we earn income. Like it's actually a lot of things. So I don't have a foot fetish. I don't understand foot fetish. But I know about them, right. So there's like, yeah, you can have an interest in the actual foot, you can have an interest in like, the feet crushing things, you can have an interest in like sucking on. Like, there are very specific instance interests within feet, if that makes sense. So probably spanking is probably about as big as like the whole foot umbrella. But it's definitely bigger than any individual one. spankings also wildly well organized. So it's, we sometimes feel very big as a result, there's a lot of people and a lot of people who are otherwise kinky who are into feet, or humiliation, or pain, or sadism or bondage will also be into spanking, they just won't be into spanking the same way that someone like me is. So the level, if in terms of people that are in this, yeah, and it's those optional, preferred and obligatory, you can be interested in something as just like a general interest that's non sexual, or it's like it's a non normative thing that you're into, but it's optional, or you can be into a non normative thing, and you prefer to do it, or you can be into a non normative thing and like have to do it. So a lot of people like spanking somewhere along that line. The like the number of us that are like obligatory spanking, but it's just I don't know, I probably say we're like, top five would be right there. But discipline, like spanking, overlaps with the discipline a lot, this idea of like, you're in trouble, and you're gonna get punished. That element is really compelling and very popular to a lot of people. And spanking just works really well with that. So a lot of people kind of end up in spanking because of that.
28:35
Is it more women than men? I actually
28:37
think it's one of my favorite things about fetishism is that it's like a genuine cross section of humanity. It is there are no specific types of people that are more or less likely to be into something. There are specific types of people that are more or less likely to get involved or to engage with their fetish. But you will find like the one of the events I run, we had like 500 people at an event and it was aged 18 to 83. from seven different countries. 5050 gender split. And I think we had people from 39 states, and it was just like, all the different political beliefs, all of the different financial situations, all of the different life situations, and the only thing we all have in common is this stupid fucking interest that
29:34
everybody wants to spank somebody.
29:35
Yeah, we're all just over here being like, Hi. What do you feel about? How do you feel about the movie blue? Why
29:42
do people though within it, I'm gonna use this word very loosely. Yeah. Do people within it, view it as odd?
29:51
Oh, that's a really good question. So I think we all know that we're weird. Yeah, so the answer is definitely yes. Like, you grow up with a lot of shame, there's a lot of shame. And there's a lot of embarrassment. I am the oddest person to the weirdest person to talk to about this question because I have the least amount of shame about my fetish of anyone that I know. I very early on, like I said, I got the internet and I came to terms with the fact that like, this is what it is. And this is who I am, it's not going away. And so I'm gonna go with it, I still did have the feelings of like, don't tell anybody. You can't tell anybody. This has to be a secret. i I'm very out. So like, I'm doing this interview, I'm out to my family. I was out in work and school contexts. But the almost no one else's, like, everybody else has a feeling of like, this is a thing that I'm supposed to hide, which I don't like. And I makes me very sad. But, you know, it is a situation where like that I do know, people that have been outed and have been fired from their jobs, because someone found out that they were into this. So you know, you do run risks. So we all are over here thinking that knowing that other people think we're weird. And the people that come to events and get involved are the people that are most have come the most to terms with it, and are the most Okay. With themselves and kind of being like, we're all freaks, we're just freaks together.
31:35
You have a commonality. So correct me if I'm wrong here, but you have a you have a university. So is there a is there a correct way? To sprang? Like, what's the correct way to do it?
31:48
There's no one correct way I would say there's lots of wrong ways. Um, but I do have a I have a YouTube channel Helsinki University where I do a lot of like, practical things. YouTube doesn't like when I do like actual literal practicalities. Um, but I can talk about them. But no, there's there are ways to basically make it so like you were saying, you know, our people are at risk of getting hurt. This nice thing about it, but doesn't have any major organs. It doesn't have it. It's, it's really well designed to get to take smacks. And so if you are using implements and using techniques correctly, you will not hurt somebody any more than they want to be hurt. If that makes sense.
32:34
That does make sense. Yeah.
32:36
And if you're just guessing and throwing things at people, that's gonna report late. But I mean, a lot of people do spanking wrong. So like even people that are experienced BDSM. And like kinky people, you'll see them using tech, I'll see them using techniques that I'm like. It's not a great spanking technique. Partially because spanking does have this rootedness in punishment and this rootedness of like a traditional punishment thing, that there are elements where it's like, if it's not, at least kind of making a nod towards that, of like, someone is over a knee getting spanked or spanking someone with your hand like this, right? Like you're going down. If somebody is like, spanking like this, with like a button front of them, and the tops of your fingers are going to hit on their lower back. Like that's not spanking that's just smacking someone's ass. totally valid. asses are great. Smacking acid is great. It's just not spanking if that makes sense.
33:38
It did until I thought about it. Like, wait a minute, what? Okay,
33:44
so a spanking is typically like, your like it was just talking about hands, right? So it's like a hand hitting a but for the purposes hypothetically, of like punishing really creating redness of something stinging and hurting. Usually you are perpendicular to the butt. So like, someone would be laying across me like this. And I would be thinking like this. So like their butt is here and I'm going down like this.
34:12
You coming down on it and down at an angle. Yeah.
34:14
And if and my hand is like sideways to there, but if they're in front of me, like if someone is like, okay, so it's like it's like you're having sex like doggy style, right? And somebody just like smack somebody on the ass strikes me that there is no way you are hitting apogee, like you are that is mostly hip, right? That is mostly like the tips of your fingers are mostly like on the hip. And Bridgeview thinking it needs to be like you need to be getting the meaty bit
34:44
So does it make it more or less enjoyable depending on the size of someone's but
34:49
it depends. I find all that's equally enjoyable this but like the amount of space that you can spank does like change. It can make things hard better or easier?
35:01
Can you look at someone and be like oh that's a good spanking but yeah, definitely.
35:07
Like they're I mean everybody has their own preferences I should say it's like in those preferences run the gamut inside of this thinking world just like to do outside of the world. I like like a button that has a little bit of like something
35:22
on it. It's got to have some muscle and some jiggle.
35:25
Yeah, it's like the if like if it's all muscle it just you kind of just feel like you're running your hand into a brick wall and it's really painful. Yeah, it's like my my right hand is like literally larger than my left hand. Because like the bone density in my right hand is like higher from having like spank or so. So weird. Like if you can tell when people have been like thinking for a really long time because they've had that they spank with is like usually kind of gnarly. This a little bit bigger. Yeah, very slightly like the second like, so you but like, the palm area is like, slightly bigger. So firstly, I am very good at clapping and very good at high fiving
36:07
Are you ready for some harder slash listener submitted questions? Sure. Happy best thing to spank someone with worst thing to spank someone with.
36:16
Okay, best thing. There's a lot of things. I've spanked people with ludicrous things of Spanx one with fire hose. It's think someone with a ceiling fan. Fix it with both doors. Like I we speak I was when they're called convertibles, we are really good at it. Um, best things a traditional hairbrush or wooden spoon. Those are like the easiest. They're hard to fuck up, or harder to fuck up. And they're very traditional, which I really enjoy both as a top and bottom. There's like a sort of like maternal feeling to them very punitive feeling to them. They hurt like hack. Worst thing would be anything that has sharp edges have like a very strong feeling about this, anything with sharp edges, anything that isn't sanded on the side. So like, slotted spoons where they haven't been sanded. And they're just like really sharp on the heads that can cut anything that can cut is basically a no for me. I also hate leather paddles, I have a personal vendetta against almost all other paddles. They're usually poorly made. They're usually from sex shops. And they're like, if you get one from a good employment maker, like they can be good. But also they usually don't hurt the bottom at all. And they take so much arm they like the like the amount of work you have to put in for a leather paddle versus what you get is not not there for me. But I am alone in this opinion.
37:43
Now you do requests I guess I don't know what the phrasing would be here. Right. But people can you do sessions?
37:50
Yeah. So I do sessions. So basically, I do like people can apply. And I have like a website and you submit an application. And I do one on one scenes with people. It's like a paid service. So it's not full service. I don't do I don't do traditional sex. So I classify myself as a sex worker as a result, but I am not a sex worker and that I don't do full service sex work. So it depends on how someone wants to classify that. But like, I also make porn. So you know, read that Hi, well, but yeah, so people can apply and have a one on one scene with me. Where I taught them and I spank them and I make fantasies come true. As long as they're spanking related. People ask me for other things. And I'm like, they're amazingly qualified dominatrixes out there that I'm sure could do that. I'm just not, not one of them.
38:46
That kind of feeds into one of the most common requests that you get most interesting requests that you've had.
38:52
So the most common requests that I get is for a really traditional discipline seen, usually Mother Son, so that's usually like a very traditional Auntie son. Sort of a like, role play of like, middle school or high school era, like skipping class, getting caught and getting spanked for it. That's kind of the I see both men and women and then reality I probably see more women now but I'd say that over the years that has been the most often done scene. And that was the other part of the question. The oddest
39:34
I would say most interesting. I don't know. It's interesting. Yeah,
39:37
I don't. I'm the most. I mean, I've gotten some fascinating requests, but I won't go into all of them because they are it's some of them. I don't want people to feel bad for sending me messages. But I'd say the most interesting ones that I get are typically people who are brand new. So I love when I get messages. and people that have never been spanked before, but have been thinking about it for a really long time. So like, I got a message from somebody and I ended up having a session with somebody who was 72 years old, who'd been fantasizing about spanking his whole life, and had never been spanked. And so we met and I got to give him his first ever spanking, and it was like a wonderful experience. So those those always are really fun. It's always a very fascinating story. Good for him. Oh, yeah. No, I was like, Absolutely. This is amazing. I love I'm always so proud of people when they are able to like take that first step, because it is really hard. And it's really scary. And it's amazing when people take the leap.
40:46
Okay, but how did you do logistically do it with a boat? Or? That's the one like, I'm always fascinated by logistics, and like, where did you get the boat? Or how did you find the room for it? Because that's
40:59
what's outside. So that one was an outside scene. And it was in Florida, and somebody that had like a canoe. And so it was like the boat or canoe, oh, no, I did another boat or scene with somebody actually, in a hotel room. It used to give yourself a lot of space. So the person was like laying down and then you kind of like measure it out, kind of go like this. And a lot of things like that the big implements, it's like the, it's like golf, right? They say let the club do the work, right? It's the left the implemented the work at a boat or is really heavy, I do not need to swing a boat, or I can just kind of raise a boat or and let it fall in a controlled manner. Autobot. And then you kind of ramp it up and ramp it up and ramp it up. Bars are really steady. So people that can be really, really yummy.
41:50
That is that is one of our letters. Probably the last listener submitted question is, how much of it is just the sound.
41:57
I think sound plays a really important part in thinking and I prefer certain implements over others because of the sounds that they may. So like, I have a hairbrush that I really love. It's beautiful. It's this antique ebony blood. It's a stunning vintage hairbrush. And everybody loves it because it's of its aesthetics. And it feels really nice. But it makes the worst noise. It just doesn't give you got like really crisp sound. So I don't like to use it nearly as often. Um, sound is also a big part of like, my girlfriend has migraines. And so sometimes we've had issues of like she really wants to play and like really needs a scene and like we really want to connect in that manner. And spankings loud. And it sometimes is literally too loud for her migraines. And so we can't play because it's hurting her head more than it hurts her. But yeah, so sound can make a big difference of what people like sound is also a big part of the anticipation of things. I love doing scenes by play with multiple people at the same time having somebody not watch but have to listen, like hear it from the other room. The anticipation that can gin up the like the fear, the sort of like, oh, what's coming? Oh my gosh, it's gonna hurt hearing the reactions and the cries. And the sound is really, really powerful.
43:28
Like waiting outside the principal's office.
43:31
Exactly. Yes. And that's usually the same. Or something like this, right? Yeah. So I run like a massive detention scene at one of my events where it's like, it's I run one that's fun and funny. And one that I'm like, This actually seems like a miserable thing was held Saturday school. And I make people sit there and do like write essays and do a city homework. And one at a time they get pulled out their name called and taking into another room where the nurse spanked. And everybody is sitting in this room doing essays silently, and the doors closed, but you can still hear them getting spanked when they come back in.
44:07
I bet that drives people wild it does
44:09
write really like this. Yeah, it's a really good event.
44:11
I'm not even into this. But that sounds like I've you know, like for people who are into that, like, I bet they love that. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's probably like, chalk your
44:22
skin to like discipline and you're into the idea of that. That anticipation and that fear is so hard to come up with because you have to trust the person. You're doing something with so much in order to do it. It's this interesting balance of like, I want to be nervous and afraid. But I don't want to be nervous and afraid because I want to know that you're not going to hurt me. And so being able to sort of like manufacture that. that nervous energy is it's very fun.
44:55
Best scene in a movie worst scene in a movie.
44:58
favorite scene is blue. Why? Without a doubt My personal favorite thing, I think the best thing I think it's like if somebody wants to understand a spanking fetishist that has a discipline kink in particular, particularly people that have a bit of a rescue fetish. The spanking scene in Blue Hawaii with Elvis is sorry, I just did this long as is but the it is my absolute favorite. I adore that scene. I watched that scene over and over and over again, as a child. I could do it from memory. It's so good. The spankings decent. It's still not great, but that's not the point. The point is the scene you've rescued her and then she says nobody cares about her. And then he says she needs a spanking. He's like you know what? You need a good old fashioned spanking. She says maybe I do know whatever character about that he goes, if someone if that'll show you somebody does care and then he pulls her over his knee and spacer, and it's so hot. Um, worst man. There's a lot of candidates for that one. I, I don't know if I can think of a word anything where somebody looks like they're taking a belt to somebody and it's going on their back. That upsets me. i The other most famous thinking scene in a movie is MCLIN talk.
46:18
It's one of my favorite movies and I when you were talking about Blue Hawaii, and I was always like, Oh, I remember McClintock I would think that that would get people fired.
46:29
What is the most famous? It's like blue McClintock and then Blue Hawaii. There's two spankings in McClintock actually, um, which is wild. I love that you've even seen this movie. i The idea that somebody that's not into spanking has seen McClintock is wild
46:43
to me. It's a good movie. It's like a
46:47
It's a classic. It's a John Wayne. John Wayne classic. I love the first spanking in the cleantalk. There's a scene where the girl tries to get John Wayne to shoot her boyfriend. She's like, shoot him daddy shoot him. Because he like
47:03
she's daughter, right? Yeah,
47:05
it's John Wayne's daughter. And she tries to get John Wayne to shoot her fiance. Because she's like, in a fight with him and she's being brat. And then the he like fake shoots him with a starter pistol. And then the boyfriends like, horrified, and he's like I'm so then he spanked her. And John Wayne hands him a coal shovel to like paddle her with love that soon. Then he chases O'Hara. Catherine O'Hara through the town. That's the senior thinking of the very famous
47:41
one. He's like, it's his wife. And she's been
47:44
it's Taming of the Shrew. Yeah, so it's a retelling of Taming of the Shrew. And so he chases her through the town. She falls into a water trough and then he spanks her in front of like the whole town. But he uses somebody's hands of a coal shovel. And it makes this like they put in this ridiculous like Boo, boo noises on top of it. That for me, kind of ruins it. But for a lot of people, McClintock is their their favorite.
48:14
Um, that's pretty much all the questions I got what's kind of coming up next for you? How can people learn more get hold of that kind of stuff? Yeah, sure.
48:20
So if you're interested in learning more about me just like my background and or interested in a session, then my website is Miss Kelly mae.com. And you can find out stuff there. And then the other thing is I run the Texas all states thinking party, which is coming up in the beginning of June. It's the largest thinking party in the US and it's like five days of space faking shenanigans and fun. So that is Texas Allstate speaking party.com. There's like some my website as well. And then if people just want to follow more of me or see a bunch of naked pictures of me, I have it only fans. Under Princess Kelly.
49:06
I want to thank Kelly, so much for joining us if you want to connect with her. We have linked to her on our social media sites. We're Profoundly Pointless on Twitter, tick tock, Instagram and YouTube. And we have also included her information in the episode description. If you're listening to this on May 17. The YouTube version of this interview will be out on May 18 at 430. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw and get to the pointless part of the show. So do you remember the first TV show and or movie that got little John fired up? Like oh, I'm becoming a man.
49:49
It was actually a magazine. I believe it might have been a teen Bob or whatever they're called kid. No, not Kidz Bop, teen pop, maybe I don't know. But it was Uh, yeah, it was a magazine for sure.
50:03
Wait a minute. That wasn't the kind of magazine that male children generally bought at that time. So did you buy that? Or were you going through the grocery store checkout line,
50:15
as I was probably in the checkout line, and then saw who was in the magazine and was like, Oh, I'm, well, she looks pretty. And I'm gonna what was I 1011? Nine, I read I forget how old I was. But who was it? Britney Spears was my first celebrity crush.
50:32
Did you buy the magazine? Did you try to get your mom to buy the magazine? Like, what did you do? How did you try to capitalize on these new feelings?
50:39
Well, I was in love from from first, you know, first sight. Yeah, you know, I tried buying it. Or trying to get my mother to buy it. I didn't get it. Yeah, and I didn't, I did end up getting a magazine a little bit later in my teenage years, like a GQ or something where she was in it, but it wasn't the same as you know, that first time.
51:01
Did you know what was going on? Or were you confused?
51:05
I mean, I don't really remember it. I'm sure it was a little confused. You know, I mean, when you get those feelings for the first time, I think we all can can agree that it's it's a it's a different kind of adrenaline rush, whether you're a man or a female.
51:21
Little Johnny, little Johnny was you? I gotta tell you it was in the grocery store. In the grocery store. Yup.
51:31
I gotta tell you, it was a completely different ballgame, though. When I when I was introduced to Shakira than it was, you know, this game on at that point?
51:41
I don't know if I've ever had a like a celebrity celebrity crush. Like a celebrity that I'd be like, yeah, that did it. For me. It's always been people that I kind of actually knew.
51:55
Oh, yeah, no, I, it's really actually nobody that I've known. My crushes. It's pretty much always been celebrities are unattainable. People will call them.
52:06
Well, it's good to have hopes and dreams.
52:09
Yeah, sure. What's funny is you see the knuckleheads that these people end up with and you're like, I can't be that worse off than them.
52:17
Yeah, there's always something about them that maybe you just don't realize what it is like, you look at somebody like the most recent example. I don't like to mention his name just because I get sick of it. But the most recent example is like Pete Davidson. It's like, Wait a minute. They're going for that. I've where was I? Right? Like, I didn't realize they were sitting selling Mercedes half off. Like I would have picked up on that sale. That's kind of what that makes you feel like,
52:41
isn't the thing with Pete Davidson, though he's supposed to be like, really, really well off as a for a man. Isn't that like,
52:48
I don't? I don't think and talking to the person we had on the show. One time his name was I think Mike blacksmith a sex toy designer. What he always said is that in reality, women want much less than men think that they do. He said that most of his entertainment toys are fairly small. Even compared to the average sake. It's much smaller than you think is what people really want this.
53:12
This brings me to something I was going to ask you about. But, um, so you know what crocs are right. You know, the kind of shoe crocs
53:22
Yeah, I think everybody knows what crocs are. They seem to come and go and they seem to be back at the moment.
53:27
Well, my children have a pair I'm against it. By the way. I don't like crocs. I think they're useless. I think I just don't think they should exist. But regardless, my wife comes home the other day with a bag of what looks to be pins. But wait a second. They're not pins. They're bluey characters, and they're called jibbitz. Have you ever heard of jibbitz?
53:50
No? Yeah, they're basically what does this have to do with crocs?
53:53
Well, they go in the holes of the crocs or like, they have a like a pinnable back and you put them on your crock and you walk around around but the I don't really care about that. I care a little like who thought of that name? giblet
54:08
Well, I mean, it's Australia. Maybe giblet means something else there. It's not a bad name. It's a better name than crocs like hey, man, you got the jibbitz? You got the crocs I don't have a problem with jibbitz I think that's actually kind of good. Oh, see, I've I have a problem with buying worthless shit.
54:28
But, I mean, what's the last worthless thing that you can remember? Remember buying?
54:35
Nothing. I can't think of a single thing that in my life that I have personally bought for myself that I would say like, you know what, I'm just buying this thing cuz
54:46
that's your own fault and you've never just bought something just just oh, there's a candy bar right there. I'm gonna buy it just because it's oh, well
54:54
like food and drink. Yeah, I mean, I'll do that but I'm just not like walking past asked an aisle in Rei a sporting goods place and being like, you know what I really need is an ice axe.
55:07
Maybe you should.
55:10
Maybe I do need an ice axe actually, now that I think about it right like I've never. I'm just too cheap. I'm too cheap.
55:16
Alright, let's give some shout outs Shall we have picked up some winners here this week? We'll start with Craig Katzenberg. Ben Bryan's little alliteration there. TAYLOR So his
55:29
way to Craig Katzenberg is not an alliteration, but Ben Bryant is no I
55:33
meant like they both are alliteration. Oh, okay. Let's see Tanner. Pitt catfish. Max Lucas. Ronan, Harris, Patrick Murphy. Ty Patterson, Luke ver away. And Charlie Wuttke. Thank you all. Appreciate every one of you. All right. Let's see a couple of questions for a couple of bangers for you. You like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
56:09
Yeah. crust doesn't like peanut butter and jelly crust on come on. No crust. I'm an adult. I'm an adult. Once you pass the age of 12 Eat your sandwiches with the damn crust on.
56:22
I love that. I couldn't even say it. And you already cut me off to say it. So thank
56:26
you. Do you cut your crusts off still as an adult?
56:31
You know, I actually never did it until I had children who now eat them from time to time and it's better with the crust off.
56:39
You're going to put in that extra effort
56:41
for my children, Nick. I do anything.
56:45
You're doing it for the children. Are you doing it for the sandwiches that you eat?
56:48
Well, yeah, I'm doing it for both. But it started off with me doing it for them. And then and then I was like, Oh, I'll try it. And then I did and it's fantastic. There's just
56:57
no way that that little amount of crust that's on a bread is really making a difference to an adult. Like you're an adult, you can eat a sandwich with the crust on.
57:07
I do think it I do think it adds a little bit of like, why am I why am I having to go this extra mile when I could just cut it off and just have a nice flush piece.
57:19
But it's gone so quickly. There's no reason to put in that extra work. I've never had a sandwich in my life that I would think like why a man if only this crust wasn't on this would have been incredible. Listen, I'm
57:31
I'm not I'm not gonna judge one way or the other you eat you eat sandwiches the way you want to. I I'm not saying I eat every sandwich with the crust off of peanut butter and jelly or kind of crust off sandwiches.
57:42
Can we go over again? How you say Sandwich?
57:46
Sandwich? What is it sandwich?
57:51
Is a sandwich Are you going golfing? Are you getting something to eat?
57:54
How do you say it?
57:56
Sandwich? Sand, which not sandwich sandwich sandwich to sandwich. Um All right. All right. What was it? Was that your question?
58:07
That was one of my staff requests. Yeah, but you didn't let me finish like you just cut me off and went into this rant, which is fine because I got upset I got upset. What's your favorite kind of ice cubed crushed or are nothing cubed or crushed?
58:23
Depends on the size of the drink. If we're going between if we're going 12 ounces or no if we're going to go 24 ounces or less. I'm going to go cubed if it's 24 ounces or more I want crushed like if I'm getting a big gulp I don't want a big gold with cube dies I want a big gold with crushed ice. So it's a size thing for me. I'm actually going to say 16 ounces or less cubed 16 ounces or more crushed
58:50
see I don't unless I'm drinking alcohol I just want to crushed I don't want to deal with cubed dice.
58:57
I don't know if I've ever had alcohol and crushed ice
59:02
yeah I have like a marked like a margarita type drink like one of those Caribbean fruity drinks I have
59:08
but that's that I feel like that's almost like frozen that's not like true crushed ice like you get it like the gas station when you get a 64 ounce or it's like that mix that's like is this frozen is is not
59:21
ever wonder why America has obesity issues. Because we think a 64 ounce Big Gulp is okay to start our day.
59:29
It is amazing the amount of non water liquids that I drink while not drinking any water. I think I can go a whole week without drinking actual water.
59:39
What do you what do you drink that did that Diet Dr. Pepper
59:44
soda. Like those little we call them fancy waters which is basically just water but it's like flavor. It's like pasta or anything.
59:51
It's not soda. It's pop.
59:53
It's soda. You know what I found out this weekend I realized I actually was a pop person and switched over to soda why? I don't know just happen. I say so to know. Well,
1:00:05
I will forever be pop.
1:00:07
You think that and then one day you change.
1:00:09
I even lived in the South for four years and I didn't change my
1:00:13
didn't the south didn't change me. I will both you and I lived in Florida, Florida didn't change me. Arizona didn't change me. I got to Washington and suddenly I'm a soda guy.
1:00:23
I was a pop man for years. Soda and orcas. That's your life. Now. Orchids are
1:00:28
awesome. You see an orchids fuckin garden experience. Okay. All right.
1:00:34
Let's see, what are we going to talk about today? All right, well, here are the choices that did not get picked. The JAMA rant video. I don't know if you're familiar with him. But he's a pretty famous basketball player. Back in March, he was on Instagram. Got caught waving a gun in the video. got suspended. Well, yesterday, there was another grant video posted on Instagram showing him waving a gun around again,
1:01:04
man without getting into that whole thing. But that's a guy that did like how do you not learn that lesson? Right? Or how do you not making that amount of money pay somebody like here's 100 grand John, make sure I don't do this. Okay, that's your only fucking job. Make sure I don't go on Instagram live with a gun in my hand. That's your whole job.
1:01:23
It's just Yeah, it's stupid. Right? I mean, it's it's, and he's so popular and such a good basketball player that it probably won't ruin his career. All right, let's see. So I randomly just picked an animal. I went to animal random generator. And I just the first one that came up I put on here if people wanted us to talk about it, I didn't get any votes, which is fine. But the IU dad, apparently it's a North African goat.
1:01:49
I've never heard of it, which is probably why I didn't get any votes mean, if you put another one on there probably would have been like, right, like you got to pick one somebody's heard of
1:01:56
we might be putting more animals on there. Because animals are fun to talk about. Let's see Watergate. I don't know if you have had a chance to watch White House plumbers? No. But it's pretty good. But
1:02:10
I'm not interested in that kind of stuff.
1:02:13
I mean, it's what's funny is a lot of what happened back then if it was to happen now would be nothing Nixon might have won again.
1:02:23
I don't understand historical, like close to truth fiction stories. Like I don't understand those kinds of things that are like movies based on real events. Well, if I was really that interested in it, why don't I want to watch the actual thing? What happened? As opposed to like, well, what kind of happened?
1:02:42
I think it's still based upon the actual events, I think they do a pretty good job of getting it. It's just definitely a fictionalized version of those events.
1:02:52
Okay, what actually one
1:02:55
sausage riots in France. And essentially, has nothing to do with the headline, there are no riots. But if anyone's been following the political scheme, or what's going on around the world, you know that people in France have been protesting rioting against the government and whatnot, for many reasons. But one of the things is for labor and, you know, unions, blah, blah, blah. And for whatever reason, sausages have the kind of become a weapon for these unions. Because they cook them, they eat them, they stay out there for days, and that's all that these protesters live on. While they're protesting is sausages.
1:03:40
They're not like throwing the sausages or something like that.
1:03:42
No, no, they're just it's literally become like, oh, the sausage is providing sustenance, which is not it's not a bad food. If you think about it. A sausage is good.
1:03:54
Sausage is very underrated. I've had some good sausages. I had some pork sausage. It's pretty good. Love to have some sausage in my mouth.
1:04:03
But I'm just gonna stop there. I'm
1:04:08
just wondering where you would go with that whole thing? Um, are you sent me? Are you ready for a tough? Hi,
1:04:12
I am I I actually felt really embarrassed that well go ahead and introduce her top five and then I'll
1:04:21
top five regional restaurants.
1:04:23
Yeah, so I've probably eaten at a good 35 of these. And once again, I don't think that's very, I'm not proud of that.
1:04:32
Sure. Number five.
1:04:35
created right here in the great state of Michigan.
1:04:40
You're such a homer for everything. Just because it was. That's the thing that I don't understand about Detroit and Michigan as a whole and I apologize to our listeners in Detroit, because I know that we have a good sizable audience in Detroit. It's like, just because it sucks. You guys have to overly go admit to it. You're like the person who bought a bad vehicle, but then talks it up constantly. Just because you don't want to admit that it was a bad purchase. It's like, No, it's great. It's awesome. I love it. Toyota Tercel best car you can buy. It's your Toyota Tercel it's great. It's great. Get a Toyota Tercel I love it. It's like, you made a bad choice and you're overcompensating? That's what I feel like whenever you pick Michigan stuff.
1:05:26
I think every I wouldn't even say Michigan is technically a Midwestern state, but I would say northeast in the Midwest in the east coast. It's all about everything's the best here we have the best pizza we have the best burgers. Is that overcompensating?
1:05:43
Because you know in reality, it's not that great.
1:05:47
Well, I mean, I'm Listen, I'm not going to Alabama get a great burger. I can tell you that.
1:05:52
Alabama has fantastic barbecue. Yeah,
1:05:55
barbecue, not burgers. Anyways, my number five is Big Boy, they
1:05:59
can't cook me. They can't cook me I stepped all over it right because they can't cook anyway. What's your stuff all over it? I just stepped over. I was too upset.
1:06:06
Alright, sorry. My number five is big boy.
1:06:10
And for people who are not familiar
1:06:13
Yeah, so I mean, I don't know what whatever state it's in. But it's in a few of them now but regardless, it's it's kind of like a glorified Coney Island's. That burger, you know that dogs, burgers, you know, regular dining food, but nothing fancy. Get the Slim Jim, if you go there.
1:06:34
My number five is Brahms. Which is basically an ice cream store that happens to have like burgers and that kind of stuff. But the ice cream is good. It's the one of the few places one of the few places where you get a malt instead of a shake. And you can tell the difference between a malt and a shake.
1:06:54
I couldn't but I believe you did
1:06:57
see on Brahms. The only place I've ever been like, Oh, get the malt not to shake the malts better.
1:07:02
Alright, my number four Apolo logo.
1:07:07
Hello. I've had that but I can't remember what it is.
1:07:10
I mean, it's obviously chicken. It's a chicken restaurant, but they have the best plantains I have ever had.
1:07:17
I have had el pollo. Loco. plantains. They're incredible. It's like, it's not many it's like Caribbean food.
1:07:25
It is. Yeah, it's it's by me that it's like a like jerk chicken, spicy chicken stuff like that. It's It's so good.
1:07:34
Yeah, I think it's Caribbean food and apologize to anybody if it's not like technical Caribbean food. I don't know the difference. My number four is the classiest, the classiest in my opinion, regional restaurant and that's Boston Market.
1:07:50
Is that regional?
1:07:52
Yeah, that's regional. At least it is now that most of them are closing down.
1:07:57
I mean, I've actually never had Boston Market. I know that there were some of them here in Michigan. But I've never had it.
1:08:05
It's the closest that you can get to like a meal. Like a home cooked meal. That's the closest you can get his Boston Market.
1:08:14
And it used to be not that that expensive if I'm not mistaken. Now it's probably really expensive.
1:08:19
I remember it was like 799 for like their club sandwich. Just like a real club sandwich. You can sub you can get Boston Market instead of Thanksgiving dinner.
1:08:30
I think I've actually known people who have done that. You might have done that. For all I know
1:08:34
I've done that. Yeah, I've done that. It's pretty good. Not that expensive either. I think it was like 40 bucks.
1:08:40
Alright, I hate putting this on the list. But I feel like I have to and my number three is going to be Chick fil A
1:08:48
that's not a regional restaurant, man.
1:08:50
I mean it but it's but I mean neither is Boston Market if we're gonna be technical, but Chick fil A started off in one area. Yes, it's expanded a little bit now. But I still think when you think of Chick fil A you think of the South or Ohio.
1:09:05
I think a lot of people are gonna have a disagreement with you that that's a regional restaurant. Chick fil A Boston Market is in 24 different states. Okay, I'm looking at Chick fil A right now. How many do you think it's going to be? If what's our cutoff going to be if it's in 30? I think if it's in 40 or more states it's not a regional restaurant.
1:09:26
I mean, I would say 30 or more and it's it's not a regional
1:09:30
47 That's not a regional restaurant only states it is not in what are the states is not in what three states don't have Chick fil A Do you think you can guess?
1:09:41
Wow, I didn't. I had no idea.
1:09:44
Two of them you should be able to get when you think about it. One is a little bit of a surprise.
1:09:49
Alaska. Yep. Uh, why? Yeah.
1:09:54
This is gonna be a tricky one. You probably let me know if you want to hit
1:09:59
me. Yes, I'll take a hit. You forget it's a state
New Hampshire, close Vermont. Vermont. Okay, I mean, I can interchange it. I didn't realize that Chick fil A was like it doesn't feel like it's a non regional restaurant still, but I guess it is isn't.
1:10:24
Yeah, leave Michigan man. Get out in the world.
1:10:29
Well, I you know, I mean, I can put if you want, I can change my number three. It's too late. What's your number three? It
1:10:36
would but what would have been your number three if you are allowed to change it, but it is too late for the official right?
1:10:40
I probably would have put Waffle House in there.
1:10:44
That's my number three. Waffle House. Waffle House is not just a food experience. It is a cultural experience. If you've never been to a waffle house, in the early morning hours, you are missing out on life. You are missing out on entertainment.
1:10:58
I've only been once or twice and I don't remember it. So
1:11:03
it's incredible. Waffle House has a different late night vibe than either IHOP or Denny's.
1:11:11
Yet, much trashy.
1:11:15
Waffle House can go either way, though. You can have a really good time at a waffle house or you're gonna have a really bad time at a waffle house at two in the morning.
1:11:26
Yeah, I will I Yeah, it's terrible. But it's terrible in the best kind of way, I suppose.
1:11:31
Do you know how much a walk manager a Waffle House makes at least what a manager at Waffle House made in 2010? When I talked to a manager at a waffle house? What do you think they make?
1:11:42
per hour or salary?
1:11:44
Salary? $2,010 to 32,000 57,000. Yeah, that changes your opinion of Waffle House Waffle House, at least then was taking care of its employees. No, it doesn't at all. It's 55 $57,000 it's how much they were paying. That's a good job. It doesn't though. I'm in like, I should be made at a waffle house. Ah, okay. Sure. Number two.
1:12:10
National Coney Island's
1:12:13
that's a homer pick, isn't it?
1:12:15
Yeah, I mean, well, I national is is a type of Coney Island that are I believe only around where I live. But yeah, they have the best honey sandwich you can ever imagine. It's fantastic. What's a honey sandwich? So it's like a pita with chicken like a chicken? Like a couple of chicken fingers. Chicken Tenders with cheese, and tomato, and ranch. So good.
1:12:43
So the restaurant chain that specializes in hot dogs best food isn't a hot dog.
1:12:49
Um, I mean, maybe 80% of the people that you asked would say that. But I've explored that menu, if you know what I mean.
1:12:58
Um, I number two is in and out. I think that's probably going to be a lot of people's number ones in and out that my number one is different.
1:13:05
That is my number one. In and out. Yeah.
1:13:09
My number one is something that people may argue with. But if you know, you know, Kwik Trip.
1:13:17
See I
1:13:19
kind of a gas station. But if you know, you know,
1:13:23
see, so I struggled with that with because I was gonna put Wawa on my list. And then I was like, wow, was great, but I don't know if it's better than the five I have on the list.
1:13:37
Kwik Trip I would, how far would you drive out of your way for your number one?
1:13:44
I mean, I wouldn't To be honest, because I have fantastic places near me, like Culvers and things. But, um, but I mean, if it was 45 Minutes or Less away, I probably you know, I probably go once a month, maybe once every couple of weeks. I don't know.
1:14:00
Okay, yeah, Kwik Trip, Kwik Trip is worth Well, the problem is it's like yeah, I wouldn't really drive out of my way. But I do get, I have to go visit family members once a year, or a couple of times a year. And I always think to myself, like, well, at least I'm gonna go to the Kwik Trip. Gonna have a R I always think to myself, like I'm gonna get to go to the Kwik Trip. Like they don't happen here where I live.
1:14:23
Here's the thing is we did like kind of like national regional restaurants if we were to do hyperlocal a completely different ballgame, but then again, give it nobody would know.
1:14:37
Okay, what's in your, what's your honorable mention?
1:14:40
So wha wha have to have to put what Zach Spees what a burger. Jack in the Box. Um, in that's kind of it I also I also wrote down Del Taco, but I don't think that's I don't think that's regional one. and more. So.
1:15:02
I don't think of Jack in the Box is being regional to me. That's a national restaurant. I've always seen Jack in the boxes.
1:15:09
Oh yeah, I I could be wrong. I don't think there's any in Michigan or in the Midwest.
1:15:17
I thought that Sonic was a regional restaurant, but apparently it is not. No, I thought Sonic was a regional restaurant I had Del Taco in there del taco is pretty good. Church's chicken. I also thought Popeyes was a regional restaurant, but apparently it isn't. I don't think Church's
1:15:31
chicken is either.
1:15:34
Let's go for the definitive list of regional restaurants. There's probably tons of them. Okay, I'll go through but this original restaurants I'll name some that I've definitely heard of. And you tell me if it's a yes or no let me find ones that actually like some of these are never ALL BOND pan. I've never heard of that. Never heard of it. Yeah, some of the okay let me go through the list. Give me a second.
1:16:01
Your second begins Burgerville never heard of it.
1:16:07
Carl's Jr. Yes or No? No. Carl's Jr. Captain D's which is like a competitor of Long John Silver's. Yes. Yeah, we had a big deal with cotton with Long John Silver's. Remember they used to like send his messages. Um Oh, Dick's drive in now we have that here in Washington. That's pretty solid. That's one of those restaurants where you come up and there's a lingo towards when you order it. Like you go up there if you want to cheese if you want a cheeseburger fries and shake. You don't say cheeseburger fries and shake. You say I'd like a cheese fries and a chocolate so there's a lingo to ordering they're stupid. It's very efficient when you get down to it to cheese fries and chocolate. It's cool you're in the club man you're part of the club just enjoy it friendlies
1:16:59
I've had it a couple of times not a big fan not very friendly.
1:17:04
Jersey Mike's is apparently a regional restaurant hmm I wouldn't have thought oh the habit burger I've seen those
1:17:14
seen I've never had never tried it though.
1:17:18
Skyline chili?
1:17:19
Yeah, it's in Cincinnati. Had that shit my pants the next day?
1:17:24
Yeah, that's one of those like I'll just trust people's word for it whether or not it's good there's a ton of mighty taco heard of that one? Yep. You may not know this one. This one is region these are two that are regional to like where I grew up, which is new way and spangles new way burgers were like but they were just big. They crushed and basically like they ground them up. Pretty good.
1:17:49
Okay, yeah, never. There's a new way bar here in Metro Detroit but not burgers.
1:17:54
I can't believe there's a regional restaurant named the Pink Taco. That's, that's offensive. Yeah, I think get away with that. Okay, that's gonna go ahead and do it for this episode of Profoundly Pointless. I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, subscribe, leave us a rating or review doesn't have to be some big thing. Just a couple of quick words really helps us out. And let us know what you think are some of the best regional restaurants. I think I've tried a lot of them, at least the major ones, but there's definitely some that slipped through the cracks. And I think regional means it has to be in 10 states, but no more than 30 That's going to be my personal qualifications. Let us know what you think are some of the best ones though. Always interested like man, that's one of the coolest things is going to a new place and trying new food. So if you've got some suggestions, let us hear