From Dating and Relationship struggles to dealing with Anxiety, Trauma and Depression, Lisa with “So My Mom’s a Therapist” has quickly become a trusted voice for hundreds of thousands of people online. We talk dating difficulties, couples counseling, dealing with social anxiety and trauma recovery. Then, we countdown the Top 5 Christmas Characters.

Lisa: 01:59ish

Pointless: 30:13ish

Top 5: 50:39ish

https://www.instagram.com/somymomsatherapist/ (Lisa’s Instagram)

https://www.tiktok.com/@somymomsatherapist (Lisa’s TikTok)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvOaBpMIiAY (Lisa’s YouTube)

somymomsatherapistpodcast@gmail.com (Lisa’s Email, Podcast Coming Soon)

Interview with “So My Mom’s a Therapist”

Nick VinZant 0:10

Hey everybody, welcome to Profoundly Pointless. My name is Nick VinZant Coming up in this episode, therapy insights, and the best Christmas characters

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 0:23

is I think, actually, it's worse now than it was even a year ago that we're really seeing the fallout now, I think people are looking for a placeholder for their anger. And it has more to do with them being hurt. And so I have a tendency to turn to the people that are so angry and bitter and say, I'm so sorry for what you were hurt. I'm so sorry. Whoever hurt you, that got you to a place that you hate them that much. Because that's the real issue. Our bodies are wired, are wired to put out fires, not to plant flowers. But where we need to go is we need to work how do I intentionally build things that are calm, pleasant, joyful, to offset the hard things in life, and that's when life starts to feel really good. I want

Nick VinZant 1:01

to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, like download, subscribe, share, leave a review, we really appreciate it really helps us out. So we all know that we're dealing with difficult times, there's a lot of people who are struggling with a lot of different things. And there should be no shame, or stigma attached to that in any way. If somebody says that they need help. Our first guest is a dating and trauma counselor who specializes in dating and relationships, anxiety, stress, and depression. And over the last few months, she has gained a large social media following by really giving people good advice, actionable advice that might change their lives. This is Lisa, who's best known by her account name. So my mom's a therapist. Want to ask you this question first? How does somebody know when they need to go into therapy or when they should go and see a therapist.

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 2:07

So if you are not functioning super well, you're having a hard time doing the things that you need to do to make life happen, eating sleeping relationships showing up for your job, right? If you're feeling like you're just primal functioning is not working? Well, for sure. That's a yes. But a good portion of it is just really navigating life. So I'll have people too, who just want another set of eyes, helping them navigate life, especially because I work with a lot of teenagers and 20. Somethings just needing help needing help and needing direction. Or if you feel like you're not thriving in life, there's a difference between surviving and thriving. And if you feel like you're not thriving in life, that's another reason to reach out to Becky, there's got to be more than this. This is This can't be it.

Nick VinZant 2:47

So I'll use an example from my life, somebody who recently started going to therapy. But it was such a gradual thing, that they didn't really notice it until all of a sudden, I was like, oh my god, like I need help. Like, how do you notice the thing you don't notice and know that you need to get help?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 3:05

You know, I think that's one of the this is probably the one probably one of the biggest questions I get asked is like, how do I get my husband to go to therapy? How do I get my child to go to therapy, and you can't force somebody. And that's the hard part is because until you are at a place where you're willing to or you're recognizing or you're able to take the steps to come in, it's pointless to get somebody there anyways. Because I know what kind of work goes on in the room. And you kind of have to be in a place where you're ready to say, I'm aware of this, I see it. Okay, now I need to do something because honestly, it's hard work. It is hard work. So what you can do, if you have people around you, you can just gently point things out, you know, I noticed, I noticed you're having a hard time or you know, I'm noticing this is not it's not working super well for you. Or if you're in a relationship with them saying, you know, this is not working well for me. And I know this isn't working well for you. But I'm not sure we can help ourselves here. And I use that we language too. So it's not like I'm attacking somebody.

Nick VinZant 4:01

Have you seen a difference kind of in the number of people and the concerns that people have coming to you in the last couple of years? You know, everybody says the pandemic it's such a difficult time. But are you seeing changes in people's behavior?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 4:14

Oh, I mean, it is a it's a conversation daily with colleagues. I actually I don't have anybody to refer to right now. Because everybody I would refer to as waiting lists. I have a waiting list. I'll take only really complicated cases at this point. And I work probably way more than I should because it is I think actually it's worse now than it was even a year ago that we're really seeing the fallout now. And it's one of those things I think takes us a little bit to catch up with even people that felt like they were doing like they liked COVID teenagers or 20 Somethings or like yeah, their little social anxiety cells were like, Oh, we get to go indoors. We don't have to be around people and I would say well, that works until it doesn't 12 So now you have to go out and be around people again and it's like 100 fold. So really seeing a lot of kids that are really struggling you really, really struggling? Usually out of my caseload, I'll have like, one or two that are like suicidal, I now carry about five or six. So and I know I'm not an anomaly. So I think we're really taking a huge toll on people we are, we are meant to be around people. We are tribal. We are, we are relational. And if we are not around people physically around people feeling energy, it greatly impacts our mental health greatly.

Nick VinZant 5:24

I have some people in my life that have struggled with it, but then they've withdrawn so into themselves, that they almost can't go back into the world. What advice would you give to somebody that's like, Okay, how do I, how do I start dating again? How do I go to work and have to see people again, like that? I know that like, that might not sound like a difficult thing. But I think for some people that really is,

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 5:48

oh, no, it really is, oh, it really I think, started we need to search as validating it. And that's where I start with like, well, hold on, like, this is hard, it is hard. And I really give it like the space, it needs to be like this is really hard. And sometimes people will beat themself up for it, or they just avoid and don't want to deal with it. And I really just honored to say that this is huge. This is really tough. And this is hard work. And so what I'm looking for is when I'm working with somebody, let's let the idea of getting back out into the world or dating again, since that happens to be happens to be the niche I fell into is a lot of dating and relationships is what I try to do is you just start small. So it's almost like exposure therapy, but the sense of like, let's start low hanging fruit. Let's look something like when you check out, go see if you can go to Target. See if you can find find the most non threatening person don't find the hot guy or the hot girl you'd want to talk to you. If you're looking to date, go find like the little old man or woman who's checking you out at Target. Ask them how their day is just strange, very slick. Just do that. If you stress out or freak out, okay, don't go back again, you find another target, find another Starbucks, but the low hanging fruit just to try to get our bodies to having a positive experience, but keeping it really small, where they can have also a sense of accomplishment. And like, Okay, I did that. And then building from building from there. But again, I think a lot of people too. They don't want to deal with it now. So they're like, no, no, like, I'm good. I mean, all I have to do is look all over tic tock to be like, I don't need anybody. I'm good all on my own. And I'm like, well, that again that that works until it does until you're you're lonely and you're wanting a partner wanting connection.

Nick VinZant 7:19

That's what I always worry about with friends of mine, like, Okay, you stayed in your house for two years. But you're 45 and single and you want to have children like what are you going to do?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 7:27

Yeah, yeah. And then and that's where I always like, there's only one road in if I want to have a family or want to have a partner, you got to go down that path. So at some point, we got to figure that path out because there's not another another route. And, you know, tell me if this is too much of a tangent off your question. But what I've often noticed is people because of their anxiety, when it comes to that, they will, they'll swing in and out, you know it, they'll swing, so it's like, I'm never dating, I'm not going out. I'm not dating anymore, I'm fine on my own. And then when they do decide to date, it's like they swing all in with with very few muscles. Now remember, their muscles have atrophied because they've been at home for two years haven't dated. And then they go to try to go back into the dating app world. And they're like, Alright, I'm pulling up my sleeves, I'm going back in and then it's like a shit show. And they're like, oh, like, like, this is horrible. This is it. I never want to do it again. So they swing back out. And again, it's there's that like, all it's like the diet mentality. It's like I'm either fully dieting, or I'm fully like, you know, eating everything in sight. And what we're what I encourage and what we're looking for is no, no, how do we start to thread it in? We want a lifestyle? How do we create a lifestyle? Just like a lifestyle of eating a food? How do we create a healthy lifestyle of dating? Which is, how do I just dip a toe in and then come on out, you know, get you get build that muscle slowly over time, so I can build an endurance. So I'm not swinging into this, like all in or all out of dating?

Nick VinZant 8:48

What are some of the other issues that you're usually seeing people are treating people for?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 8:54

You know, um, I would say a lot of lot of depression, a lot of suicide, a lot of self harm I get I'm working within a population of a lot of teenagers. A lot of anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, I'd say both of those. And then a lot of academic issues from people who haven't had a lot of academic issues before because we lost the external value validation and being in the classroom and getting all the attention for the teacher. And so a lot of people that really hadn't been thriving up to this point are not, not not thriving.

Nick VinZant 9:23

I may edit this question out because I want to ask you something. But then when I look back on it, it may sound like a really stupid comment. So may edit this out. But like, Have we lost any kind of toughness at all? Like have we become where everything is the end of the world?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 9:43

Yeah. Gosh, that's such a good question. Because there's so much there's so much to say that the minute I want to be able to say yeah, we've lost that toughness. Part of me wants to be like No, no, I I've seen people with a high level of grit. I've seen people I call it a high level of grit, which is that sense of self, I don't look around, I don't look at that and be like, Oh my gosh, that's a huge mountain, I have to Oh my gosh, I can't do anything about it. Grit is like, I don't look up at the mountain, I just put one foot in front of the other, and I just do what I need to do. And once I get over the mountain, and over to the other side, look back and be like, holy cow, I can't believe I made it over that now. And I've seen that and I see people with a high level of grit. Do I also see people that look at that mountain, and have a tendency to look at the mount and be like, I can't do anything? I can't. That's too big. This is actually not my problem. This is not about me. It's about that the mountains too big. Right? I can't do this. Do I see that as well? Yes. Do I see more of that in a younger generation than I've seen before? Yes. Yes. I don't see as much grit. However, does that mean that it's not here? No, I, there's always exceptions. And you'll always see that.

Nick VinZant 10:50

I would say though, and correct me if I'm wrong here too. Right. Like you and I are both have an older generation. And I feel like older generations always look at younger generations, like oh, they gone soft. Right. So there is kind of like, kids today. Yeah, there's some of that too, you know,

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 11:06

apps. Absolutely. But I also feel like there's an element here, we need to take in consideration and you told me to if this is too far off base, but that is it, given because of the because of social media, because of internet, the main voices in our lives growing up were teachers, you know, coaches, parents, you know, whatever your local community was, those were the voices in our life. And now the younger generation, they're a lot of their voices, a lot of them, they fired their parents, and a lot of them the voice the main voices in their life are influencers, influencers, who are who are still trying to figure out the world themselves. So do I see the more overwhelmed or more kind of losing their way than previous generations? Yes, they do.

Nick VinZant 11:50

I would say too, and kind of that conversation, too, is like the gatekeeper isn't there anymore, like the people that you and I used to grew up listening to, they were generally the experts in the field. And now it's kind of could be anybody with any kind of thing to say, yeah. And if it resonates with that person, like, I'm not a therapist, but I had a boyfriend once, right? It's kind of a good friend, right? Whatever. That's

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 12:11

exactly how I ended up going on Tik Tok was five and a half months ago, I was looking over my daughter. So I was on Tik Tok. I was looking over my daughter shoulder. And it was a little sweet little 20 year old thing and spandex darling. But she was giving dating advice. And it was, by the way, the worst advice I've ever heard. And I turned to my kids, and I was like, What is this shit? And they were like, oh, yeah, there's like tons of them on tick tock. And I was like, You're kidding me? And I'm like, Yeah, and that's when I started getting on being like, Okay, I got to give some sound advice here. Because this is I'd actually say to do the opposite of what this person says suggested, and a lot of them actually breeding hate for men and hate for women. And I'm like, Oh, that's not going to get us anywhere.

Nick VinZant 12:48

I want to do something a little bit different than we have. In other episodes, we usually get used. We get a lot of kind of listeners submitted questions, but I want to boil these down, if I can into kind of just broad topics, and just what you think about them? People who are having commitment issues, what would your advice be to them? Like, what should they do?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 13:07

Yeah, you know, I think if it's usually when it's commitment issues, it has to do with our, it has to do with our survival mechanism. Our bodies are wired to protect us, you know, the whole goal of our brain and our body is to protect us and keep us safe and to prevent us from being hurt. So it has more I would my encouragement is if you have commitment issues, it has more to do with your survival mechanism in your body and your fear of getting hurt fight or flight response. And so my encouragement would be how do you find someone like me, a therapist or a social worker to help you learned how to regulate your body? Because if you think that that's going to go away, that's not going to go away? If I just find the right person, this will go away. And it's about how do I learn how to manage and regulate my body when it wants to run because it scared?

Nick VinZant 13:49

Imposter syndrome?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 13:51

I'll speak on that one. So imposter syndrome is this sense of feeling like a fake? You know, so actually, I I'll see, I'll see a therapist, I'll be a therapist to other therapists. And that's actually something that often hears them feeling like I'm an imposter. I'm acting like I have it all together, and I don't you see it in dating, too. It's this sense of I'm putting this false person forward. That's like really not me at all. And feeling like I'm an imposter in my own life. And again, that's where it's really that sense of how do I get back to what who, who really, am I how do I? How do I tend to myself, I love saying this on my videos, but you spend more time in your body and with your thoughts than anybody else on this planet. You spend more time with your with yourself and your own thoughts that anybody else even your spouse on this planet? How do we how do we start to make that the relationship we work on the most? How do I start to actually not just tolerate myself but but like who I am? And believe it or not, that's the best way to attend to that imposter syndrome is to start to who who am I and how do I how do I tend to this relationship with myself?

Nick VinZant 14:52

This person just says, Why do I always date the wrong men? And I think we can we can supplant men with yeah whatever, right? Yeah.

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 15:00

All right. You know, I would say a good a good hunch on that, when I usually go with is that there's something with that that's familiar. we gravitate towards what's familiar, not necessarily what's best for us, but what our body knows. So we will often gravitate towards something our body knows even if it wasn't something we like, like how our parents were how a past relationship when we were young was, but ultimately, a lot of the questions I get asked that goes along with this is like, Why do I always attract the right guys? And like, it's not about whether you attract the right guys? Or the right gals? It's about how do I learn how to communicate? How do I learn to get to know somebody? And how do I learn how to set boundaries, so whether you like me or not, it doesn't matter if you're a good guy, or a good or a bad guy. I'm learning how to set boundaries. So I'm picking somebody, that's a good fit for me.

Nick VinZant 15:44

Um, you know, look, I'll be honest about my family life, and that we have dealt with this in which not getting into the politics of it, let's, let's stay away from that. But like there are a big divide sometimes in families, and we have been separated from family members who have gone down certain roads. But for people who are going into the holidays that time of year, like what advice would you give to somebody that's struggling with family members or a family member, that they may have been alienated from because of political or whatever kind of divides?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 16:14

Yeah, that is so hard. So I would go in and believe it or not, I would go a different direction than most people would would expect. And that is, if you try to think about that person, you don't have control over that person, you don't have control whether whether that person is going to spout off about their political belief, or, or how, or maybe there's tension between family members, the only thing I have control over is myself. So what I really encourage and what I work with people on is like, okay, let's have a plan going into the holidays of how to regulate yourself. So you know, if Uncle Bob starts going off about something that I know, just fires me up, what are my things that I know, help regulate my body, I'm looking for things that shift my nervous system back to a regulated state. So all have things already in place, like going for walks, right going for a walk, be the one to volunteer to go get ice, I'm running to the store, anybody want anything, so that you give yourself away a pendulum eating out regulating your body and coming back in, if you know, your family already keeps you charged the whole time, I have them do what's called a drip system, I'm putting a drip system in of things that will regulate my body, whether I need it or not, whether that means I go into the back room and I take a nap or I go for a walk, or I just put on maybe just put on some music that I know really calms my body down. So I have them put in in a drip system. And I'll also have them do what's called front loading before they go in. front loading is just a term that says I already know I'm going into a stressful event, right? And how do I just really get myself regulated, which means I'm taking deep breaths, I'm really calming my body down. Before I go in knowing it's going to activate me, and I make sure I have a time limit. If my family is really tough. I make sure like me and my partner were like, alright, we got two hours here, we got three hours here so that my body knows, okay, it's limited and ends coming and ends come you got this two more hours, you got this and that makes your body be able to manage it more than feeling like it's stuck in something that's flooding.

Nick VinZant 18:04

Where do we get like most of our issues from? Are they deep seated things that we got in childhood? Or in our teenage years? Or do we like pick something up later on in life?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 18:14

No, it's such a great question. I really believe it's like a slot machine. And it's different for everybody, all of us have such customized unique paths. But two people can have the same experience grew up in the same house have similar experiences, and, and interact with and react in their body in totally different ways. Because we're like a slot machine. Nobody has, it's your DNA mixed with your upbringing mixed with your environment mixed with your individual experiences. And so it's everybody's going to react differently, which is why something may register in your body as traumatic but not traumatic in my body, everybody's different. But all of those it's one of those things that it's as we accumulate different things through life, they're going to impact us, you could have a horrific accident in your 30s. And that, of course that's going to impact you. So but somebody may not have that but have childhood trauma. But I think the one thing that is impartial to everybody is that life, there are hardships that come with life. struggles are not an intrusion of life. They're part of life and some people at offended, offended. Like it's almost like Life is like that's an assault on life. No, no struggles hardship are not an assault on life. They're part of life, learning how to navigate those as our work.

Nick VinZant 19:24

That's the way kind of thing we talked about a little bit earlier. That's like, the hard thing is like, right, like, is this a problem? Or is this a natural struggle of being alive? Because life is kind of supposed to suck? Right? Like me and the other co hosts of this channel we talk about, like 90% of life kind of sucks. You're just doing the same stuff. And it's supposed to be hard and you're supposed to fail over and over and over again. But like when do you know like, you know what? This isn't right. I should probably get some help. See

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 19:52

an island that feisty like reply to me wants to push back and be like, No, like no, like, no, no, no, no life. It's hardships in life as it struggles but but I will, I will, I will fight until I have a life that is like calm and pleasant and joyful. What is the actual goal we're going for. I always tell people imagine like a jar, imagine a jar, what we think life's going to be is like food coloring, where the whole jar is either blue and sucks, or the whole jar, we put a drop of food coloring a pink and we want this, we think life's supposed to be all rose colored. And it's not like that. Instead, imagine a jar, and you're gonna have your hardships, those are little blue balloons that are filled up. Our goal is to say how do I find little balloons to put in my jar of things that are calm, pleasant, joyful, silly to offset it so that when I look at the jar, I can see the blue, but overall, I see pink, bringing in what's going on in our bodies, our bodies are wired to for threat, our bodies are wired to default to threat to put out flowers or to put out fires. This is when I listen, our bodies are wired, are wired to put out fires, not to plant flowers. But where we need to go, is we need to work how do I intentionally build things that are calm, pleasant, joyful, to offset the hard things in life. And that's when life starts to feel really good. Really good. Not perfect, hard balloons are there. But I've worked on building in these things, snacks and meals, little things that are calm and pleasant to start to change the way my feels.

Nick VinZant 21:23

Okay, these are some of the more controversial questions I get. Do people really not know what their issue is? Or do they secretly know what it is? And they just don't do anything about it? Mm

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 21:38

hmm. You know, I, you know, I love that question is because there, there'll be people that come in, who will be like, oh, yeah, I need to work on this, or this spouse is bring. And I will say, Wait, what do you want this to change? Like, do you want it to change? Because just because you know, you have something doesn't mean you necessarily want to get rid of it or want it to change? Because there's, you may lose something. So I don't know if this is answering a question directly. But that is one of the things I always stopped to make sure. Right. The other thing I also make sure when I'm working with a couple, the first I started so do you guys want to work on this? Do you want do you want to be together? Because just because you assume someone's aware of something doesn't mean necessarily that they're, they want it to change, or they want a marriage to work? So you got you got to start with asking them, and also kind of getting down to well, if you didn't change it, did things things got better? Would we lose anything? Is there anything that we would lose? Or there'd be a cost? To

Nick VinZant 22:31

have like this question, this person just says, Am I the problem? And I think what they mean essentially is ultimately depending no matter what happens around people's lives, and we're not talking about like extenuating, extending waiting circumstances, but in general people's lives, are they usually ultimately the cause of the things that are happening to them?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 22:51

You know, I would say that's a combination. Sometimes we are the cause, Sometimes life happens to us, and it has nothing to do with us. But when I look at when I look at that, what I hear even in the question itself, am I the problem? Because nobody wants to find blame. If either you need to be the problem, or I need to be the problem because somebody has to be the problem. Why does somebody need to be the problem, because if I can point to where the problem is, and somebody needs to fix it, that's our brains are built, what our brain is trying to do is say, I don't want to be heard anymore. So I have to be able to identify who's to blame here so I can point to who needs to fix it. Right? As opposed to, so I really shift our mentality to say, Oh, I don't think it's that black and white. Until we take our last breath. We are under construction, and you have an invitation to work on yourself. How I see my life is fully up to me. How I my personal one, one of the biggest things I've noticed with clients, they come in hoping for a lot of changes. And yes, external changes may happen. But the biggest changes happens in their life is when they shift their perspective, how they see their own life. So when it comes to you, how you see your own life, yes, that's fully your responsibility, how your invitation to grow. Yes, that's up to you, that you are in control of that you can work on that you can grow. Some things are out of our control, and they just happen. And that's part of life as well.

Nick VinZant 24:08

Who's more to blame for relationships? Men or women? Who's the problem? Okay, the honest answer the problem?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 24:17

Ah, you know, if, you know, it's this is actually a big theme and people that watch a lot of my tic tock videos, no, because I cannot stand the all men or all women. And so I think the minute we try to point a finger on men or a long finger on women, we actually again, there's that blame again, I was just talking about it's either you're the problem or in the problem. So who are we pointing the finger at the men or the women? And in actuality, I would say we have to leave it individual. We have to give them names. There's some great guys and there's some and there's some not so great guys. There's some great girls and there are some not so great girls, but the minute we start to lump everybody together, it's too easy to start to have hate and bitterness and blame. And by the way, even if I were to say Say, men are the problem that while that does is it prevents women from actually looking themselves and growing and seeing how they can grow in a relationship or vice versa. If I were to say, Oh, these new age women, it's easy. It's these women, then all the men are like, okay, good. There's the problem right there. And all of a sudden, what does that do? It takes the eyes off yourself. And it takes off from yourself and say, oh, where can I grow in relationship? Who do I need to still work on? So the answer I would say, is C, none of the above.

Nick VinZant 25:24

I get I get fired up about that, too. And I see those tick tock videos or videos like all men suck all women sucks, like, no, it's probably just the people you're walking around with. It's like, there's a bunch of good people

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 25:34

and good people. Exactly. And now I'd like to take it okay. Well, okay. Okay, now that you've determined that now, now what? And now it does that make our odds of dating one better? Like we're where do we go from there, because all that does is get us stuck in our own bitterness. And I'm all I always say, I think people are looking for a placeholder for their anger. And it has more to do with them being hurt. And so I have a tendency to turn to the people that are so angry and bitter and say, I'm so sorry for what you were hurt. I'm so sorry. Whoever hurt you, that got you to a place that you hate them that much? Because that's the real issue.

Nick VinZant 26:04

This one's a little bit. This one's a little bit more lighthearted. But after listening to people's problems all day, how can you stand people?

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 26:15

You know, if anything, I'm a true extrovert. And that really energizes me and I love that every hour is different. I think. I think if anything, it makes me love people even more. I just look at us as human beings, myself included, and oh my god bless us look at us go. I mean, look at us trying to figure out this show of a life sometimes. I mean, if anything, it just makes me I think love people even more, but I can tell you, you know, the the way that I the way that I've filled my own tank after working all day is I will grab a glass of wine and watch like bachelor and Paradise or some no brainer TV, like nothing that has to do with me, you find me the trashiest TV show. And that is usually what I'm watching in order to refill my tank. Missing this teenage movies.

Nick VinZant 26:59

I don't know if you can answer this one or not. But most interesting case you've ever had,

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 27:05

you'll actually have permission to share this story because um, she actually started sharing this story publicly. Um, hardest case. And the most endearing to me, probably not interesting, but the most endearing was a mom who lost her seven year old child. And I don't think I don't think you're ever the same after the, and I think to walk with her, and watch these little, little pockets of healing with her. If anything, it just felt like I almost wanted to thank her for letting me be in the room, just to watch her heal. And something to me that just was so life changing. And watch her heart grow and heal. And that Collateral Beauty that comes out of it. It's it's never You never asked for suffering. But the redemptive value are things that come out of it that otherwise wouldn't have and watching a book come out of it a book deal and watching her speaking and that that came out of that and her beautiful heart. That that was that was a journey.

Nick VinZant 28:08

I feel like we should end on a happier question. But that's no there's for people maybe who don't have children and listening to this, like there is no pain or worry like that. Right. And if that's not a road that you decide to go down, or one that you're blessed with like that is

Lisa - "So My Mom's a Therapist" 28:28

I can, I can if we want to learn a little later no to I can't tell you probably the most fun situation I got got to work with it was very high. So I get an opportunity every now and then to work with somebody in the industry. And I had somebody that reached out not didn't honestly want to see me for therapy. But it was just very short term. But they had gotten a role on a primetime television show. And they needed it to be a teenager. That was extremely a mean mean girl and she couldn't access a mean girl because she wasn't a mean girl. And my job was actually to do her psychological work to get her into a place where she'd had hurt or pain in her childhood, which she hadn't had to get her to be this like kind of mean girl and then also to make sure I could get her out of it. So I actually was doing the opposite of what I do in therapy is how do we get you to a place where you're acting out? Lashing out and doing everything you shouldn't be doing? And then how do I make sure we can get you back to where it used to be. So that was actually that was kind of fun. That was very interesting.

Nick VinZant 29:26

So you can help people and fuck them up. That's it. I found a new tool I have. I want to thank Lisa so much for joining us if you want to connect with her. We have linked to her on our social media accounts. We're Profoundly Pointless on Instagram, Twitter and Tik Tok, and we have also included her information in the episode description. If you feel like you or someone you know needs help, don't hesitate to reach out. I can tell you that. therapy has made a profound difference in the lives of people that I know. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw, and get to the pointless part of the show. I have two questions for you. One, have you ever considered going to therapy or felt like you needed to go get therapy? And two? Would you rather be an elf? Or a reindeer? For?