John Shull is a beast of a man. How else can you explain the numerous medals he won at an early age.

After crushing both the spines and feelings of other 8-year-olds,  young John went on to accomplish little else athletically. 

He did however, continue to grow. Eventually becoming what some would call a "man".

Now living in Detroit, John has a job. For which he receives money.

Money he uses to buy stupid shit. 

Despite his gruff exterior John is a tender lover. Often rising early in the morning to make his wife her lunch for the day.

He is a big fan of The Rock, Tom Brady, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Nick VinZant:  Want to get to know Nick? Go to the grocery store. Find plain bread. There, you've met him. Dude's had the same haircut since 2nd grade.

And who's he trying to fool with this picture? Does he not have teeth?