Dating, Divorce and Infidelity Private Investigator Lisa Olson
Do you think your significant other might be cheating on you, Private Investigator Lisa Olson of Pink Lady Solutions is the one to call. We talk catching cheating spouses, how to tell if you’re being watched and her most interesting cases. Then, we countdown the Top 5 Celebrities Named After Birds.
Lisa Olson: 01:15
Pointless: 28:24
Top 5 Celebrity Bird Names: 47:39
Interview with Dating, Divorce and Infidelity Private Investigator Lisa Olson
Nick VinZant 0:12
Nick, welcome to profoundly pointless. My name is Nick vinzant Coming up in this episode, catching cheaters and celebrities with bird names
Lisa Olson 0:21
and then with infidelity. Some people are just certain their spouse is cheating, and if you say no, yeah. Um, so he was married, his mistress was also married. Um, my mentor taught me if you're going to be in a neighborhood for an extended period of time. He said, print out a picture of a car. I
Nick VinZant 0:45
want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance subscribe, leave us a rating or a review. We really appreciate it. Really helps us out. If you're a new listener, welcome to the show. If you're a longtime listener, thank you so much for all of your support. So I want to get right to our first guest. This is private investigator Lisa Olson of Pink Lady solutions. So as a private investigator, what are you in? What are you investigating?
Lisa Olson 1:16
So I started my agency because I wanted to help, like it was infidelity and child custody and all the other PIs. Were like, you're not going to last. I was like, This is my passion. This is what I'm going to do. About six months into it. I was like, Oh, this is horrible. People are kind of crazy. Like,
Nick VinZant 1:37
what is it about it, though, what surprised you so much about people's behavior when you got into it.
Lisa Olson 1:42
Let me back up. I became a private investigator because I went through a horrible divorce and child custody battle. And so my thought was, I want to help other people that are going through this, because I know the courts, I know the system like mine was horrible. I ended up with full custody, so I wanted to help. And I realized that when it came to child custody, every parent was saying the other parent is doing bad stuff on their parenting time. I mean, I need you to prove it, and that's not always the case. Sometimes when they consider bad behavior, the courts don't care, like, oh, the dad went to the bar, brought the kid to babysitter. It's that's not against the wall. And then with infidelity, some people are just certain their spouse is cheating. And if you say no, I had one where she said, I know he's cheating. I saw he's going to this hotel at this time, so I had an investigator go out, sat there at the hotel. The dude walked into hotel room by himself with a bag of to go food in his work bag. He wanted to get away from his wife. He just wanted peace and quiet, and so I told her, I was like, hey, good news. You know, he's not cheating. He just needed a long time. She's like, No, you missed it. They're like, No, that there's one door in and out in the hotel room. Nobody came and went, and she was mad.
Nick VinZant 3:06
So he was just in there, in the hotel room, like, just eating what he wanted, doing what he wanted, yes,
Lisa Olson 3:13
yeah. And I thought she would be happy, and she was mad.
Nick VinZant 3:16
So when you talk about, like, doing an investigation, so like, how do you do it? Yeah, so
Lisa Olson 3:21
someone will call me and say, look, I think my spouse is cheating. And I'm like, Okay, first of all, are there any changes in the behavior, which, if there is, it doesn't mean you know that they're cheating, but it could be an indication. So I kind of want to know if their routines have changed. And we talk about that, and then if, because, look, it's not cheap to hire a private investigator for surveillance. So for them, I try to narrow down the time. So it's, do they disappear after work? Do they disappear on Saturdays or Sundays? And try to narrow down when we should be watching them. Because I'm not trying to rip people off. I'm not trying to say, oh, let's watch them 24 hours for a week, no, pinpoint the times they are disappearing or something is off, and that's when I'll have an investigator go and so we'll sit either outside their house, not directly outside their house, because that's dumb in the neighborhood, and watch them, see where they go. Sometimes I'll have two investigators, so we can switch vehicles, so it's not the same car, you know, following them the entire time, and then just kind of see where they do, get video, get pictures, that sort of a thing.
Nick VinZant 4:33
So it's mainly just kind of, it's, it's essentially, kind of just following somebody for the most part,
Lisa Olson 4:38
yeah, if it's, you know, infidelity, something like that. Yeah,
Nick VinZant 4:41
are other cases. Are other kinds of cases, different I mean,
Lisa Olson 4:44
like slip and fall investigations. That's generally not following someone. It's going out and taking measurements, taking pictures. I did do one again for a friend. Can you go watch this guy? This guy has claimed in his insurance company. He has. Traumatic brain injury. He can't get out of bed, he can't take care of himself. And so I sat outside his house, and the other investigator weighed, I think, like where we thought he was going, where he was headed. And this guy got out of his house, bent down, put his bag down, unlocked the door to his truck, back, you know, bent down again, picked up his bag, got in his truck, drove to work to build swimming pools, and got pictures of all that, and, you know, the concrete or whatever's on his back, you know, getting out of the truck. And I just thought, oof, you're gonna have a hard time explaining that in court.
Nick VinZant 5:39
Oh, my gosh, yeah, that's like, I have workers comp. Why are you carrying these bags of cement? Then, if you have workers comp,
Lisa Olson 5:45
I mean, the the extent of what he said his injuries were, it wasn't like, Oh, my back hurts like traumatic brain injury, and can't take care of yourself. Jesus, don't leave your house if you're claiming that and you're trying to get millions of dollars in a settlement. Sit your ass in your house and don't go anywhere.
Nick VinZant 6:04
But when you do investigations, like, Are people usually that kind of blatant about it? Like, when you catch somebody doing whatever, it's like, this was very obvious.
Lisa Olson 6:13
Yeah, I had one. A girlfriend called me. It's like, I think my boyfriend cheating. He goes to Sac State. I'm like, Alright, cool. So I got a backpack. I went to Sac State, and, you know, hung out, and I got all kinds of footage of him with a girl, let her know, hey, this is what's going on. It's just, I need more. It's your money, like, if I don't think it's necessary, but okay. And then, you know, she was like, you know, you have to be really careful, because he's really paranoid, and he watches everybody, and he's really observant, like everyone thinks that. But okay, and so this really observant guy, we caught him dancing with his non girlfriend, female friend, in a parking lot outside of, like a Panera, like in it. We didn't even need to catch it at that time. It was just good timing of pulling up and he was like, dancing with her. And it was like, Oh, that was easy. And he's not observant. He's in a public parking lot dancing with some chick.
Nick VinZant 7:17
How much does this cost? So I charge 125 an hour. That adds up quick. Yeah,
Lisa Olson 7:24
which is why I, for my clients, I try to narrow it down. Like, I mean, they could be millionaires and they might not care. I'm like, no, just follow them, you know, non stop, we can, but let's not waste anyone's time. I'm not trying to price gouge anybody. Let's, you know, pinpoint these hours, these days, something like that.
Nick VinZant 7:43
So like your average client, they're going to spend how much,
Lisa Olson 7:47
1500 2000 and that's kind of just for, like a basic I'm going out of town for a couple days. Can you see what my husband's doing while I'm
Nick VinZant 7:57
gone? If you had to put a number on it, like, what percentage of the time is the person's suspicions Correct?
Lisa Olson 8:03
Probably 95 because we have gut instincts. We like, we know when something doesn't add up. What
Nick VinZant 8:10
do they usually say to you when they call about, like, infidelity,
Lisa Olson 8:15
they usually feel crazy. Which breaks my heart, because, again, I've been there, they feel crazy. They'll say something isn't right. His behavior is changing. It just doesn't feel right. I just want to know what he's up to, or what she's up to when I'm at work or when I'm out of town,
Nick VinZant 8:32
what's usually their reaction when you present him with the evidence?
Lisa Olson 8:35
Um, that's part where I've had to learn to business is business, and I can't have emotions in it. And so it's he met this girl this time he kissed this girl at this time. She did this one time I had a woman hire me. Wanted to watch her husband was visiting California, and so she said, Hey, can you watch him while you know she lived in some some other states. He was here at business pleasure. Forget what it was. She said, Hey, can you make sure you know he's not, you know, bringing a girl home with him from the bar, because he's going to go to the bar. Followed him to the bar, hung out with him at the bar. He ended up buying shots for everybody. And then I was like, This is great. He's not talking to any females. Sat there, you know, a little bit longer, started watching and went, Oh, wait a minute, this is not women. He was going, like, massaging guys. And I was like, oh, friendly. And then just got weirder and weird. And I was like, oh shit, he's not cheating with women. Oh, so it's, you know, I It's facts. I can't talk, you know, about emotions. It's, you know, he went home. A boy went, you know, a male went home with him. They never left. How did she take that? People usually upset and cry, but that's where it's, you know, I kind of have to. I'm not their therapist. I'll listen a little bit, but if I listen a little. Sometimes they just keep going, and what should I do? And and I'm not a therapist, so I try to, these are the facts. I'll send you the pictures done.
Nick VinZant 10:08
Do you ever try to sugarcoat it a little bit? No, I
Lisa Olson 10:12
don't sugarcoat any aspect of my life to anyone. That's not how I operate. It's, you know, they're coming to me for the facts. So I'm going to present the facts, and in a professional manner to where it's, you know, it's the facts. I can't I can't sugarcoat. I can't make it seem not as bad it is what it is. The one client who at this school saw him, and then, like at a Panera parking lot saw him, she was like, No, I need more. And I had to stop her and say, anything else I provide is probably porn, and I'm not filming that like I am done. And I think it's just the denial that that we all we don't we. We think someone's cheating, but we don't really want to believe it, so we need more and more proof.
Nick VinZant 11:01
Does it seem to bring people any kind of closure?
Lisa Olson 11:05
Yeah, for, you know, for a little bit. And it because I do somewhat build relationships with these women or or men. I mean, you know, it goes both ways. Um, so sometimes I'll reach out, like, hey, just want to check in. How are you? And they're like, oh, great, you know, I took him back, or I kicked him out. Like, okay, just wanting to make sure, you know, and that's just with some case, depending on how much I bonded with them during it.
Nick VinZant 11:33
Do you ever have repeat clients? Like, oh gosh, Stacy's calling me again. She's got another guy that's like, this,
Lisa Olson 11:41
I had one. He hired me off and on for two years.
Nick VinZant 11:47
The same person,
Lisa Olson 11:52
yeah, so he was married. His mistress was also married. It it was, it was crazy for two years. So people like, Hey, can you see where she's going on her lunch break? You're probably home to her husband.
Nick VinZant 12:12
Yeah. Why would he be worried about his mistress, who was also married, cheating on because he
Lisa Olson 12:17
was going to leave his wife and she was supposed to leave her husband so they could be together. And then I ended up so he did file for divorce. I served the the wife like it was just insane. I don't know that that mistress ever left her husband to be with him. I doubt it is
Nick VinZant 12:37
it harder to surveil somebody than you would think because of me, I'm like, okay, park a couple houses down and get some binoculars and just sit there and watch them. Like, is it harder or easier than you? Than somebody might think both.
Lisa Olson 12:49
It's easier because humans are so selfish and self absorbed in looking at their phones, they don't know what's going on around them, even if they say, I'm super observant, you're not, however, neighborhood watch if you sit in a neighborhood for long enough, someone's going to come out and say, Hey, like you're parked in front of my house for four hours. Can I help you with something, you know, something like that. I had one person come out and take a picture of my license plate. It's fine, but so at least in California, if we're doing surveillance, I like to have my agents call local PD and say, Hey, a private investigator, I'm doing surveillance in this neighborhood, so that way, if someone calls the cops, resources aren't wasted on an officer coming out to a private investigator. And I like to have an excuse. I think my excuse that day was, oh, I'm on my lunch break. Sorry, I'm just eating, you know. Just want to get away from the office, you know, something like that. I'm just working from my car. I don't want to go home. My kids are home. Have some sort of excuse. My mentor taught me, if you're going to be in a neighborhood for an extended period of time, he said, print out a picture of a car. And then when someone comes to your car, because they're going to like wearing my neighborhood, you show them this picture of some fancy car, and say, I work for a repo company. This car is supposed to be coming through your neighborhood. Hey, if you see it, you know, drive through. Can you come tell me? Can you help me out? Because then people like, they're excited, they're part of an investigation, and they're like, watching out for some car that isn't doesn't even exist.
Nick VinZant 14:27
Has it ruined any of your faith in humanity? No,
Lisa Olson 14:32
I, my brain is wired to always think the best, always give the benefit of the doubt, which is why I wasn't a horrible marriage for too long. I can't say it's jaded me. I wake up happy, I love life, and I don't let shitty people ruin that. I guess
Nick VinZant 14:51
that's the best way to look at it, right? So, but as a like, as a private investigator in California, do you have any kind of like? Special dispensations or, like, oh, private investigator can do this. Normal citizen can't. Like, do you get any privileges along with it? Like, akin to law enforcement? No,
Lisa Olson 15:10
I had an office in Ohio for a year. And in Ohio, you have to have a badge as a private investigator. In California, absolutely not. That you can. California will not offer badges to PIs, and I think it's because it could be abused. You know, flash a badge. People don't know what it is, and they could pretend to be a cop, I guess, um, I need process serving, but that's for anyone. So we can get into gated communities, like you cannot keep a pi out of a gated community if we're trying to serve someone court papers. But that's the same as a, you know, a process server. It's just, it's a court thing.
Nick VinZant 15:48
They're like, what would you say that certain like, is there a certain characteristics? That characteristic that, like, good private investigators have? For me,
Lisa Olson 15:56
the biggest thing is a gut instinct, because so I don't have any fear. When I was doing a lot of criminal defense, I went into the worst neighborhoods talk to like the drug dealers and the gang bangers, and I didn't have any fear. So for self preservation, my body hasn't built in really good instinct. So I could drive down a street and know if I should go out of my car or not. Same with following people. You know, sometimes we lose people when we follow them, and so you get to a fork in the road and you didn't see where the car went, you have to trust your instinct, like, I think they went this way. Excuse me, there's a gut instinct that you kind of have to have.
Nick VinZant 16:39
Is it different when you're doing a child custody one versus an infidelity one like, Do you have a different approach to it overall?
Lisa Olson 16:48
Yeah. So a lot of it like with trackers. So in California, we can't put a tracker on a vehicle. It's like infidelity unless that person hiring me their name is on the vehicle. So basically a vehicle has to be in the husband and wife's name. So the the wife can say, Hey, can you go put a tracker? Technically, your name's on it. Yeah, I can. Um, with child custody, we can't put trackers on children, per se. Um, so it's putting if, if the one parent wants to know, you know, or like, you know, I think, like a wife hired me and said, Hey, this guy that you know, child's father, I think, is, is bringing, you know, my daughter to a drug house. Like, okay, well, I can't put a tracker on your child. Obviously, um, favorite stuffed animal. I am going to track this stuffed animal and see where this stuffed animal goes while that stuffed animal is with, you know,
Nick VinZant 17:50
your ex, you can kind of get around
Lisa Olson 17:52
it a little bit, yeah, so it's kind of knowing the gray area and not breaking any laws.
Nick VinZant 18:00
Well, most of, like, well, most of what a private investigator does, if it goes to court, will it hold up in court?
Lisa Olson 18:05
Yeah, yeah. Um, I've only had to go to court once, and it was the other side that brought me in, which was super weird. I got it was a family court case, and I don't even remember the husband or wife's, you know, working for them, the opposing party brought me in. I was like, I proved you left the state with your child. Like, why would you want me here? And I think she was probably on drugs. I think it was the I was on the husband's side the matter. And the ex wife brought me in, and I think she was trying to say, I illegally used her social security number to to find out where she was living, which we have access to social security numbers. We're licensed to deal with this stuff. And so I think she brought me into like, hub, you got my social security number, and I was like, Yes, and I tracked you to another state. I like, I was so confused why I was there. The judge was like, You're You're done. Like, thank you. I think we were all, I think we were all like, what? Like? What did you smoke before court? It made no sense.
Nick VinZant 19:25
Are you ready for some harder slash? Listener submitted questions,
Unknown Speaker 19:28
yes.
Nick VinZant 19:29
Oh my goodness. Let's start off with the juicy one. What's your most interesting case?
Lisa Olson 19:35
Either the one that went for two years or that, you know, the married man and his married mistress, and it got so much weirder than that. Like, hey, I think, oh, okay, wait, I got a better one. Okay, um, that one was bizarre. I had to report one client. I had to fire him as my client and report him to the police department because I was an event he wanted, like a welfare. Checked out on his mom. He said, My mom lives at this address, and I haven't heard from her in a while. And I'm like, Okay, sure. And I ran a report and I called him. I said, hey, it shows your mom. It seeks. He's like, well, but she's not really, because I have this metal box that she communicates with me through. And I was like, oh, mental health and he's like, you know, and I drive by that house every day, and, you know, I've knocked on the door, and I look at the cars, I take pictures of the cars. Basically, he's stalking this house. So I had to say, I can do this, and you're going to have to find someone else. And I went to the police department said, Look, this guy has mental health issues, and he is stalking this
Nick VinZant 20:39
house. Worst case of cheating you've ever found I
Lisa Olson 20:43
hate. Worst ones are when I can prove over and over. So sometimes it's not the person in the relationship hiring me, it's family members. Many times I've had family members hire me, and I could say, Yeah, there's definitely infidelity, and the people stay, you know, the the aunt or uncle or mom or dad, whoever hires me can can go to the person say, look, you're being cheated on, and they're like, Well, I don't believe it. Or he said they were just friends, or she said this, and they stay. Those are the worst timing that but they just won't believe it.
Nick VinZant 21:21
How does it get this far for people like, how does it get that far that you're hiring a private investigator? God,
Lisa Olson 21:30
lack of communication in a relationship. Because if I think my man is cheating, I'm gonna be like, Where were you? There's I'm not going to hire a I mean, I could, I could easily send one text and have his ass followed, but it's communication, and I almost I don't understand how it gets so bad to where you have to hire a private investigator. There has to be a lack of communication, lack of respect. Yeah, I don't know.
Nick VinZant 22:02
What would you say you've learned about people from this?
Lisa Olson 22:05
People are not observant. People are on their phones so much that I think they just they're not as observant as you know humans used to be.
Nick VinZant 22:19
Have you become more obvious than knowing that, like, as people have gotten more oblivious, have you become more obvious? Like before, I used to hide behind a tree a block away, only on this day, and now I just, like, stand in the front yard and I can just videotape them, and they don't even know. Like, is your job easier because of that? Now,
Lisa Olson 22:38
yes, but I also think my job is easier because I'm a female, um, like, when I always do a lot of process serving. I once served someone. I was at my friend's pool, you know, in a bikini, tanning, and I'm like, Oh, shit, I gotta go serve someone. I put like, a wrap over me, and I went and served because noone is expecting someone in a bikini in a wrap to be at the door to serve them.
Nick VinZant 22:59
Yeah, that would throw you off, right? I for some I
Lisa Olson 23:03
could be out in plain sight, or I used to bring my my daughters, um, they're older. They're not, like, two. I'm not, like, using my two, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, a child, um, you know, go. We had to go look at a neighborhood. And so, like, I was walking a dog, and my daughter was on her phone taking selfies. She was taking pictures of houses for me, sometimes being out in the open is best, because no one's going to think the mom at Starbucks, the mom walking her dog, you know, went to my Starbucks. I had my girls. I was like, you know, say cheese, let me take pictures. And I was actually filming the people behind them. And my girls knew what I was doing, so they were just being dumb and making silly faces. You know, yeah, like preteen. They think they're like, 1312, um, so sometimes being obvious is better. Are
Nick VinZant 23:54
there many women in this field?
Lisa Olson 23:58
There's not enough. There is not enough. I know a few. Um, and I think because of covid, a lot of pi male pi businesses closed down because if they're retired cops, they don't need to be PIs. So during covid, a lot of them just close up shop and like, there's going to retire and be happy. Um, so I have, I have online courses to hopefully get more women into the industry. So I'm going to take some women under my license, because I'm supposed to have to pay it forward. I have, like, a training course on there. And also to grow businesses, because I'm I love business more than I love the PI work. I love, I do love that pi work, but like i My passion is business. So to help people become help, mainly women become private investigators, and then to help them build up their agencies.
Nick VinZant 24:49
Would you say is like, is it? Is that? Because it's harder to do it as a woman than it would
Lisa Olson 24:58
No, I think women don't think about. As a career, like, I wish, like, I want, like little girls to, like, grow up like, I want to be a PI. Your little boys, I want to be a PI. It's almost like it's a dying industry, because no one knows what they are really what we are. They all think it's, you know, man in a trench coat, you know, smoking cigar, you know, and that's just not it at all.
Nick VinZant 25:24
Do you ever do dating background checks like, Hey, I'm thinking about dating this guy or this girl during covid,
Lisa Olson 25:30
I made a good amount of money because everyone was online dating. You couldn't go out and meet anyone. Um, so I was doing background checks, and one time, someone contacted me. Said, Hey, it's not for me. My friend is planning on getting in her car and driving two hours to go meet this guy. Can you do a background check for me? For my friend? Absolutely, there were so many, like domestic violence and drug charges. I was like, like the most I'd ever seen. And so I sent it to the friend. I was like, stop your friend. She cannot get in the car and drive two hours to go meet this guy. So she did, luckily,
Nick VinZant 26:10
oh my gosh. Best movie or TV show about private investigators, like it shows what it's really like. Worst movie about private investment.
Lisa Olson 26:19
Show there's Okay. When the movie knives out came out, my boyfriend, he was like, There's move. It's moved about, like a private investigator, like, we need to see that. And I was like, Cool, let's go watch knives out. I walked out of there. I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? I hope I can cuss on here. Okay, I go. Really, the private investigator was hanging out with the cop in the cop car, and he was just like, oh my god, Lisa, it's a movie. And I was like, No, that was dumb. He's like, everyone raved about this movie. I'm like, I will give it another chance. So I watched knives out again, and I thought, This is so dumb. I was it bothered me so bad. I have never seen a PI show or movie, was like, Yes, that's what we do.
Nick VinZant 27:04
Is it more boring than people would think?
Lisa Olson 27:08
That's probably true, and that's why there's no movies about someone sitting in a car for eight hours.
Nick VinZant 27:14
Do you have like, disguises, not
Lisa Olson 27:16
disguises, but I absolutely change like little things like so I do undercover work for a county, and it is so much easier as a female to go into establishments, play dumb, look like a wreck, if it, if it's like a bad neighborhood, I will put my hair on a messy bun. I will wear some dirty shoes, and I will go. And again, it's, you walk into somewhere, and, yeah, you get sized up instantly. And if I have, you know, jeans that are torn up, dirty shoes, my hair, I look, you know, I look like hell. No one's gonna think I'm in there to do anything that they wouldn't want me
Nick VinZant 27:57
to do. I want to thank Lisa so much for joining us. If you want to connect with her, we have a link to her on our social media accounts. We're profoundly pointless on Tiktok, Instagram and YouTube, and we've also included her information in the episode description. And if you want to see more of this interview, the YouTube version will be live on August 22 at 12:30pm Pacific. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw and get to the pointless part of the show. How long does it take you to find a new TV show, like, how much scrolling Are you going to do before you find a new movie or a TV show to watch?
John Shull 28:39
I mean, if I don't go into it with a game plan, like, if I'm just scrolling, it's not happening. I'm either going to YouTube or movie trailers.
Nick VinZant 28:47
I think that if I'm going to try to find something new, I'm going to scroll on each platform, like Netflix, Hulu, whatever else you got. I'm going to be scrolling for at least 10 to 15 minutes.
John Shull 29:00
Last night, I set a milestone in my life. I actually bought a or rented a movie at full price through Amazon. Because in my mind, and I'm probably four years late to this, it's the same thing as going out to the movie theater. It's cheaper because I get to stay at home, and I don't have to, you know, I don't have to put up with people. I don't have to put up with popcorn prices. I can just spend the $20 and it's right here in my living
Nick VinZant 29:30
room. You but you paid full price. You didn't wait. I wouldn't do that. I would wait for it to come out on streaming. What movie was it that you couldn't wait?
John Shull 29:40
This is embarrassing. I'm sorry, uh, twisters.
Nick VinZant 29:45
Oh, that's, that's the first movie you're gonna go ahead and pay full price for, is twisters, yeah.
John Shull 29:51
I mean, listen, it was a great night. It was a great date night with me and the wife, like we made it work. And it was 20 bucks, I mean, and it was, I know, I'm probably super late. To the game on this and I've rented stuff before, just have never rented anything above $10
Nick VinZant 30:09
I don't know if I've ever rented a movie outside of like Blockbuster or Netflix when they used to actually mail you the DVD like that's the only time I've ever rented a movie and I would never pay full price for one? Okay? Well, I polled the audience about this question. 8% of people said it takes them less than a minute. I don't really believe that you've got to already have something picked out. 24% said one to five minutes. 18% said five to 10 minutes, and then 49% so a huge majority said more than 10 minutes to find something to watch on TV.
John Shull 30:49
I don't believe anybody that's under a minute that's just that's a no go.
Nick VinZant 30:55
The only way I would believe that that's actually happening is if you already know what you're going to watch and the thing just came out, and you're like, oh, yeah, I'll watch that. It's got to be on your list.
John Shull 31:03
Yeah. I mean, if you have a list, I feel like this question doesn't these are for people that just turn it on, not knowing what they're going to watch. I will say this and kind of what I said earlier. If I do turn it on, I have no idea what I want to watch. It's either going to be a YouTube music video, some sort of documentary or a movie trailer.
Nick VinZant 31:24
I go through phases during the week. Like, to me, Monday and Tuesday is the documentary kind of days, like, there I want to see something real, and then I gradually want more and more fiction as I go out through as I go through the week.
John Shull 31:39
I don't have that kind of
Nick VinZant 31:42
I think I just realized what it is. I think I just realized the thing that it is. I think I like to watch more kind of non fiction stuff on Mondays and Tuesdays, because I like the idea that someone's life is worse than mine, like, oh well, mine had a bad Monday, but at least I'm not this person who's like missing in wherever. And then I want to detach from real life as I go throughout the week, so I gradually watch
John Shull 32:06
more and more fictional things. Yeah, not me. I'm all over the place. I don't have one set day for anything. I can watch Starship Troopers tonight, and then Wednesday, I can watch dune and Thursday, I can watch Halloween. Like, I'm all over the place, no set days or moods or anything.
Nick VinZant 32:24
I feel like I just went on a journey of self discovery. Like, oh, I didn't know that about myself, okay, did
John Shull 32:33
not know that about myself. Uh, was that it? We already on the shoutouts. Oh, that's it. Already on the shoutouts. Man, moving, fast, moving. Uh, all right. John Shaban, Amber rebacca, Matthew Christensen, I know this isn't a real name, but I thought it was funny. Tubby Mac I guess it could be a real name. Tubby is not people named Tubby.
Nick VinZant 32:57
There's a couple of people like, how do you get that nickname? Like, Well, okay,
John Shull 33:01
well, Tubby, uh, let's see. Luke thornburn, Mario corrupt, Chris DeSantis, Lucas, pellier, hunter, Patton, and let's see. We'll end here on a good old American name, Peter Jones, because it could be English too, but,
Nick VinZant 33:21
yeah, that's pretty you don't see her. A lot of Peters man, not a lot of Peter is still around.
John Shull 33:26
Not a lot of Peters hanging around. Alright, let's talk about some things here. I feel it's only, it's only due process if we acknowledge the legend that the world of media lost this past weekend, that being the one and only Mr. Phil Donahue rip
Nick VinZant 33:48
I was kind of that was one of those people that I was surprised to find out that he wasn't already dead. Like, oh,
John Shull 33:54
he's still alive. I Okay, fine. I tried acting like I knew. I was also very surprised he was alive still, and also I didn't realize this, like, what he actually did for TV and, like, the talk show and help show genres, he was kind of like one of the founding figures of it.
Nick VinZant 34:16
Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know anything about it. I feel like everybody's great all of a sudden after they're dead, right? Like, everybody's always great afterwards. It's always the best look. Listen. I'm a former news reporter, and I used to go out to crime scenes all the time, and only one time in like, hundreds of crimes, maybe 1000s of crimes, that I covered, where you talk to somebody that something was going on, only once did I have somebody really come forward and say, You know what? He was a jerk. Everybody else was always the life of the party. The class count the person everyone could count on, the best guy you knew funny like, everybody's always great when they're dead, but you. In reality, like anyway. That's no disrespect to Phil Donahue, I kind of tangent, but I just always remember only one time that I have a person that we interviewed about somebody say that person was actually a pretty big jerk and nobody really liked him.
John Shull 35:14
I mean, nobody wants to say stuff about somebody that's dead, right? No one wants to come out and be that person on a soundbite that says, Yeah, little Johnny was a complete Nutter douchebag. I'm glad he's dead.
Nick VinZant 35:26
But if you could somehow view this after you died, would you rather hear like an exaggerated version of you, or would you rather hear what people really thought of you? I'd much rather hear what people really thought of me.
John Shull 35:42
Nah, keep it nice. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I mean, tell me the mean stuff. Now, I don't want to be, you know, somewhere and have to hear them talk about how angry and bad of a person I was.
Nick VinZant 35:52
Oh, I'd much rather know, like, what people really thought of me. No, I'm good. What did they really think?
John Shull 36:01
No, I'm good. I don't. I don't need to know. I don't need to know what that's all about, just sunshine and rainbows when I eventually die here in 10 years.
Nick VinZant 36:10
Yeah, you're pushing it. You're you're definitely going early. Do you feel like you're gonna go early, average or late?
John Shull 36:19
Honestly, I think I'm gonna go average.
Nick VinZant 36:24
I think I'll probably get 78 to 82 that's what I'm shooting for. 78
John Shull 36:28
to 82 isn't it? The average like 76 or seven. I
Nick VinZant 36:32
think it's slightly below that. I think it's slightly below that for men.
John Shull 36:37
I mean, listen, much love to my father, but he may be one of the he's not a health and and he is living well into his almost 70s. Um, so I'm pretty confident I'll be at least average. I think, okay,
Nick VinZant 36:53
yeah, I want to go slightly above average, but I don't want it to go too long. I don't want to be 90 even 88 you're like, Whoa, man, you're getting up there. Yeah,
John Shull 37:03
it doesn't mean that I want to live deep into my years. I mean, you know, anyways, it's kind of a depressing topic. Let's get on. Go on to another depressing topic. Okay, okay, um, the news came out over the weekend, maybe late last week, that Matthew Perry, you know, who died a few months ago that they charged five people in his death for basically overdosing him on ketamine. I feel like a terrible human being, because when that came out, I literally sat back in my office chair and I went, of course, like of course somebody was prescribing him it. Like, he didn't just take it because he wanted to. Like, why does it surprise people?
Nick VinZant 37:49
I'm surprised that somebody actually got charged. That usually doesn't happen. So that person must have been really egregious. And like, I said, like, John works in news. I'm a former news reporter, so we do kind of, like have a little insight into this, that people usually don't get charged for that kind
John Shull 38:07
of thing. Yeah, they don't, um, but the the fact that they charge six people, including the main doctor, um, you know, there was just so much surrounding his death, of, you know, conspiracy and this and that it's like, no, apparently they were just giving him ketamine to try to take away his anxiety and problems and other things. It's just, it's just insane to me that there's still people that are taking the social media that are defending, you know, the fact that he was taking this like, No, it's not good for you. No one should be taking this for that, like that.
Nick VinZant 38:40
I think that there's some stuff around that. Though there's a whole micro dosing thing. I don't know anything about it, and I feel like that's the kind of thing if you don't know anything about it, you should probably just, probably
John Shull 38:50
just keep your mouth closed. I do agree. Well, still rip to Phil Donahue and Matthew Perry. Uh, alright, here's, here's another positive, uh, concept here today. Holy hell. Um, how would you feel if you owned a house on one of the coasts here? And next thing you know, it's being swept into the ocean. What do you do in that instance? Because that's happened three times now in the North Carolina region, just in the last week alone, to do two different things. It was Debbie, and then it was torrential flooding like I would, I don't even know what I would do. I would just sit there and just be like, yep, there goes my house.
Nick VinZant 39:24
I think the only saving grace to that is like, there's nothing you can do. I mean, there's something you can do in the sense that you probably should have realized that living on an erosion prone area right next to the coast is not the best thing for the longevity of your house, especially with the current climate, but otherwise you're just like, well, there it goes. Like, I don't know what else you're going to do besides laugh about it. Like, well, there goes my house. That
John Shull 39:51
sucks. I was reading something from a from a real estate point of view, that the insurance on those. Houses is almost as, almost as much as the interest that is being charged on those houses. Like, it is insane how much insurance you have to pay just to have one of those houses.
Nick VinZant 40:10
Look, man, I don't feel really that much sorry for people when those kind of things happen. Like, you know how the climate is changing. You know where you live, if something like that happens to you, then you were risking it. The only thing that bothers me about it is I don't think that rest of us should have to pay higher insurance rates because you want to live right next to the coast on a mountain where it's going to fall into the ocean any second. Like that's your bad choice. Why should I have to pay for that?
John Shull 40:36
So if, and this is a question for anyone out there that's watching, if you had to live in an area that's prone to, you know, to, I don't want to say cultural, weather issues, but, you know, we'll say that, which area would you take the the chance on? Would you live on the coast? Will you live like in a hurricane area, you know, like Louisiana? Would you live in a like California, where there's wildfires? Where would you take your risk at?
Nick VinZant 41:01
I would probably take the risk of where I live right now, which is Seattle, which, if anybody knows anything about the Cascadia Subduction Zone, we're overdue for basically the largest earthquake in all of human history that's going to destroy the entire area. But nobody here has earthquake concerns, and you just kind of hoping it doesn't happen while you're alive?
John Shull 41:24
Yeah, I that would be terrible, and the podcast would cease to exist if your computer got molted by lava. But you
Nick VinZant 41:31
it's a risk thing, right? Like, do you want to live in an area on the coast or in the mountains, or someplace where there's more things generally to do and there's a little bit of a risky situation. Or do you want to live as a person from Kansas? I feel like I can say this, do you want to live in Kansas? Like, do you want to risk the chance of having an earthquake in a fun place? Or do you want to live in Kansas where you're kind of safe, but you live in Kansas,
John Shull 41:56
but see, are you safe in Kansas? Aren't that? Isn't that in the middle of tornado alley?
Nick VinZant 42:00
Yeah. But I mean, I've been through a bunch of tornadoes. Ain't that? Jesus,
John Shull 42:04
I don't know. I just watched twisters and they look pretty freaking scary to me. Yeah, they're
Nick VinZant 42:09
pretty scary, man, but you just prepare for it like this is the thing that I would since we're seem to be on this kick now about how, talking about how we used to work in news, or at least I used to work in news, you usually find out that when something happens to somebody, there was a way that they could have avoided that situation, and they didn't. It's usually you can tie it back to somebody's fault that like, Oh, my house got swept away in this hurricane. What a freak accident. Well, you built it on stilts next to an eroding mountain. That's probably why that happened? What
John Shull 42:40
do you think's gonna happen? It's,
Nick VinZant 42:43
it's like, what did you think was gonna happen? So people are usually pretty much at fault for their own circumstances in life, when you get right down to it
John Shull 42:51
true. All right. Uh, there's actually a couple of fun things, believe it or not, on this list. Not. All Okay. Uh, would you ever would you rather have one long arm or one long leg. Oh, one long arm,
Nick VinZant 43:06
because I could reach things, and if you had one long leg, that would throw off your whole balance, like you could exist pretty well with just one long arm, I would almost say it'd be handy. You'd be great at things. Almost be better to have one long
Unknown Speaker 43:19
you just be just
Nick VinZant 43:23
right. Like, think of the amount of like, if you had one long arm and you were a baseball player, like, the amount of whip you could create with that way better. I think to have one long arm or just one long leg is useless unless it's in the middle.
John Shull 43:39
Well, yeah, remember, it's a PG podcast here. Let's see last question, believe it or not, we're getting, we're just moving through these things. What is the more useless animal? And these are, these are house pets, a gerbil, a goldfish or a cat?
Nick VinZant 44:04
Well, I mean, a cat in a gerbil, at least, you can kind of potentially, like, snuggle up with or pet, or have some sort of physical comfort from them, in some way, like a goldfish, to me is like, why even get that as a pet, especially if it's just one goldfish. Like, maybe it's your first one. I could see getting it for a little kid, but I don't know why an adult would get a goldfish. Like, just, just tough it out, right? Like, don't half ass it that much. Either get a real pet, or don't get a pet at all,
John Shull 44:38
or just be like my parents and show up randomly one day with Piranha, because that's apparently what people kept in their fish tanks.
Nick VinZant 44:45
They just wait. They gave your kids a piranha, or they just showed up at your house with a piranha. My
John Shull 44:51
parents brought home like four piranhas and put them in our fish tank. And then my dad was shocked. When they started destroying everything in the Can we, can we swear on, on YouTube, live, I think you can on the fucking fish tank and like, then he was afraid to clean the thing, because these things became, I mean, they're naturally aggressive fish. Like, what do you think is going to happen? Dad, that
Nick VinZant 45:17
was, he didn't think that one all the way through. He just didn't think that one all the way through, right? Like, I wouldn't buy a piranha and be like, Oh, it's just going to get along with these other fish perfectly fine. Like, he probably, he should have done a little bit of research,
John Shull 45:31
probably, but, I mean, I'm his spawn. So, I mean, you see, doesn't fall too far from the tree in the show household. I don't think,
Nick VinZant 45:39
Okay, what percentage do you think you are different from your parents?
John Shull 45:44
Oh, man, that's a loaded question. Um, percentage difference. I mean, I mean, I guess, I mean, I guess I'll say I'm at least 50% different.
Nick VinZant 46:00
Oh, I think it's, I think you may be 50% now, but I bet as you get older, that that number gets smaller and smaller and smaller. I wouldn't, I would say, maybe I could say maybe 50% but I think my number's going down pretty quick. I do some things. You're like, Oh God, I'm becoming, like, my parents. No, I
John Shull 46:23
mean, see it, I try my best not to my My thing is, is I'm like, a physical, like, cop, win of my father, so that's my problem.
Nick VinZant 46:36
Oh yeah, that's hard. Like, that's hard. I have some of the same, like, physical mannerisms as my dad, like I move kind of in the same way that he does, or I sit in the same way that he does. But that's, yeah, I would say 50% but it's getting up there. It's, it's increasing in that, like, nobody wants to become their parents.
John Shull 46:56
No, nobody does. Nobody wants to. And even if you say you do, that's an F and lie. F and lie, yeah, unless your parents like, really rich. Well, you want to be. We do have a, you know? We do have several ways you can donate to the podcast, so just give us some. Oh, we got a Patreon now for exclusive content, right? Yeah?
Nick VinZant 47:17
Well, exclusive, ad free, like one of those words that it supposedly means something, but it's not. It's not really, but it's ad free. We have a Patreon. I probably should have thought ahead of this and gotten the link for it, but I didn't do that, but we do have a patreon. Now, if anybody wants to
John Shull 47:31
support us, we appreciate that. Alright, well, speaking of let's get to the the best part of the show or so. Okay, so
Nick VinZant 47:37
art, so our top five is top five celebrities named after birds. Who's your number five?
John Shull 47:44
So my first question to you is, did you go with the most known actors and actresses with bird names, or did you go with like the best ones? I
Nick VinZant 47:55
went with the most significant celebrity with a bird name. But then if the bird name, if there was like close, then I chose who had the better named bird. So for example, these, neither of these are on my list. But if you had like Jay Leno and Cheryl Crow, and I thought that they were exactly the same, I like the J more than I like the crow, so I would have put Jay Leno above Sheryl Crow.
John Shull 48:24
Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Well, in saying that my number five, I went with Dan Quayle.
Nick VinZant 48:34
I thought about Dan Quayle because his name is Dan Quayle, yeah, like, and he couldn't for people who maybe are younger and don't remember, like, that was the guy who was a vice presidential candidate under somebody I can't remember, but he couldn't spell potato, no,
John Shull 48:49
he he was, he was the vice president.
Nick VinZant 48:53
Oh, he was, yeah, under George
John Shull 48:54
HW, from, uh, whatever, 89 to 93 um, yeah. Okay, I
Nick VinZant 49:02
could see Dan Quayle. I mean, you could make an argument that, like, he had a significant impact, if you really kind of knew about things like that. Otherwise, I wouldn't, quite frankly, put him in my top 10. Oh, I
John Shull 49:12
I only went with it because a quail. I mean, he has to be the only famous quail in the end ever, right? I mean, come on, but he doesn't spell it the same way that you spell quail. He does not know, but it's spelled a little differently to pronounce it the same way. So it's good. In my book,
Nick VinZant 49:30
my number five is Russell Crowe, in my mind, responsible for one of the single greatest movie scenes of all time, when he says. His name is Max's Decimus meridis. He turns around. That's one of the greatest movie scenes, in my opinion, of all time.
John Shull 49:47
Well, unfortunately, they're about to ruin that movie franchise, because they they're making gladiator two, so that
Nick VinZant 49:55
didn't need a sequel. That's one of those movies that like the. Didn't need a sequel. No. Like, not
John Shull 50:02
even close. Not even close. It's like, who, in their right mind, was like, Yeah, we're gonna make a part two to this. I mean, come on, man, it's terrible,
Nick VinZant 50:10
but they got some big name actors for it, which makes me seem that, like, okay, the kind of actors that probably had some choices, so maybe they looked at the script and was like, Okay, this is actually good.
John Shull 50:22
Yeah. I don't know. We'll we'll see. Okay, who's your number four? Um, my number four is Larry Bird. I
Nick VinZant 50:30
don't think that Larry Bird should be on the list. I don't think he counts.
John Shull 50:35
Why? Because his last name is, is just a bird,
Nick VinZant 50:37
yeah, but he's not named after a bird. His last name is bird,
John Shull 50:41
but technically he is named after bird. Because, okay,
Nick VinZant 50:45
okay, so look up on Google and show me the bird that is just named bird. I
John Shull 50:51
mean, I'm sure there's a bird just named bird. It's
Nick VinZant 50:54
just called Bird. That's why I don't think that Larry Bird should be on there, because he's not named after a bird. His name is bird. There's no bird named bird, so I don't think that he should count.
John Shull 51:08
What's your number four? I'm trying to find this out here. Steve Martin, okay, all right, that's a good one.
Nick VinZant 51:15
Martin, I would have put him high. That's an example of somebody who I would have put him higher on the list. Except a Martin isn't a bird that I really even know what it is. So I think that while he is very high up there, the bird he is named after brings him down a little bit.
John Shull 51:32
Well, it's funny that you have a Martin in your list, because my number three is Martin Sheen.
Nick VinZant 51:39
I just don't think of a Martin as a bird like I don't even know what a Martin looks like. Do you know? No, have no idea, right? That's what I think holds them back. I don't know what a Martin even looks like. See here. Now, I have to look it up. What does a Martin even look like? Uh, my number three, though, while you're doing that is Taylor Swift,
John Shull 52:04
oh, I had it up. What did you do? There it is.
Nick VinZant 52:12
Oh, did you mess it up? No, I
John Shull 52:13
brought it to you. Oh, I
Nick VinZant 52:14
wasn't looking I was looking at something else. I was looking up. Oh, a blue, purple Martin,
John Shull 52:20
yes,
Nick VinZant 52:21
oh, yeah, that's an okay bird. I don't really feel like, did you find Did you now, did you in your research, did you decide to agree with me about Larry Bird, that he shouldn't be on the list because bird isn't like, there's no bird that's named bird.
John Shull 52:37
It's fine. I mean, it's sure. I mean, I can replace him with several others. So technically, technically, you're right, yes,
Nick VinZant 52:46
yeah, my number three is Taylor Swift, who's number two?
John Shull 52:48
Uh, Robin Williams, oh, that's
Nick VinZant 52:51
my number two too.
John Shull 52:52
Okay, yeah, it's weird that we have the same number two.
Nick VinZant 52:55
I think that probably means we have the same number one. Who's your number one
John Shull 53:02
has to be on the count of 3112, Tony Hawk, Ethan Hawke.
Nick VinZant 53:12
You put Ethan Hawke above Tony Hawk
John Shull 53:15
and Robin Williams. I mean, I think it's a it's a cool last name a hawk. Tony Hawk, too. I forgot about Tony Hawk. It could be Tony Hawk. Forgot
Nick VinZant 53:24
about, I think it's Tony Hawk, because if you look at the industry that he was in, he was the most consequential person in that industry. Yeah, people we've talked about,
John Shull 53:34
I we've never done this, but I'll go the same one too with you, because Tony Hawk, I forgot about him. But, yeah, he, I mean, basically on that list. I mean, you can say Rob Robin Williams, Larry Bird on my list, were super influential in their professions. But I mean, skateboarding mainstream is what it is because of of what Tony Hawk did and started,
Nick VinZant 53:57
yeah, he was the biggest name in his profession, like, you could make an argument like, okay, Robin Williams was very famous, but somebody else probably could have kind of done that, you know, if it wasn't him, it would have been somebody else. I think Tony Hawk was really one of a kind. What? Why would you put Ethan Hawke above Robin Williams? Because I was trying
John Shull 54:18
to think of like, like like birds that are strong, you know, like Falcon Hawks. It was like, oh, Ethan Hawke and I completely misplaced, you know, Tony Hawk didn't even come into my vernacular.
Nick VinZant 54:31
Yeah, I don't know how you do that. He's almost the first one the way. Okay, when I think of bird name celebrities, name with bird names, though, it's definitely for me. Tony Hawk, Larry Bird, I don't necessarily think about like Robin Williams or Jay. Leno
John Shull 54:46
Russell Crowe, yeah. I mean, like any of the Martins, you know, like, I don't think I didn't even know a Martin was really a bird till I looked up a list. So, yeah, I
Nick VinZant 54:56
didn't really know it was a bird either, to be honest with you, looks like a crow to me. Looks like a fake crow. Who's on your honorable
John Shull 55:02
mention? Let's see. So I put on Lynn Swann.
Nick VinZant 55:07
I thought about that. That might be along with Tony Hawk the best like name, name, yeah, Lynn Swann's a good name.
John Shull 55:16
That's a pretty good name, uh, Sheryl Crow Russell Crowe, Jay Leno and I did have Martin Short on here, but I like Martin Sheen better, so that's why I gave him the nod. Yeah,
Nick VinZant 55:27
I would go with Martin Short over if I was going to rank my Martins, it would be Steve Martin, Martin Sheen, and then last would be Martin Short.
John Shull 55:37
We could have put Martin Lawrence on here, I guess.
Nick VinZant 55:40
Oh, I would put Martin Lawrence above both Martin Sheen and Martin Short for me personally, I love that show. My it's a good show. Uh, the only people that I didn't name that already, Sheryl Crow, Florence, Nightingale. That's a great
John Shull 55:59
name. That's, yeah, that's a that's a solid name. Okay, that's
Nick VinZant 56:03
gonna go ahead and do it for this episode of profoundly pointless. I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, leave us a quick review. We really appreciate. It really helps us out and let us know who you think are some of the best celebrity celebrities with bird names. I always have trouble saying that, because I want to be clear that it's not celebrity bird names, like somebody named their bird after a celebrity. It's celebrities who are named after birds, which is why I don't think that Larry Bird should ultimately count as a celebrity with a bird name. He's not named after a bird. He just has the name bird. It's like, if your name is house, you're not named after a house. You're just named house. Let me know you think you.