Beauty Pageant Coach Bill Alverson
With five Miss Americas and four Miss USA titles, Bill Alverson is the most in demand Beauty Pageant Coach in America. We talk beauty pageant secrets, mean girls, dealing with parents and the future of beauty pageants. Then, it’s Walkmans vs. VHS tapes as we countdown the Top 5 Obsolete Things.
Bill Alverson: 01:40
Pointless: 35:02
Top 5: 55:04
Interview with Beauty Pageant Coach Bill Alverson
Nick VinZant 0:12
Welcome to Profoundly Pointless. My name is Nick VinZant Coming up in this episode, and inside look at beauty pageants and obsolescence. I think that's a word.
Bill Alverson 0:24
This is gonna sound really arrogant. They nobody liked me. For what? They nobody liked me. Because this mother is forcing this child to be someone, when I work with someone that is that I'm cutting that umbilical cord. I mean, I have had girls, pull out an evening gown chopped up, these things happen. They're evil people. Right?
Nick VinZant 0:50
I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance to subscribe, leave us a rating or review. We really appreciate it. It really does help us out. If you're a new listener, welcome to the show. If you're a longtime listener, thank you so much for all of your support. So our first guest is the most in demand beauty pageant coach in the world. He's coached five Miss America's for Miss USA is. What I really think is interesting about this, though, is he gives us an inside look at what beauty pageants are really like, why they are so popular, and how they are changing. This is beauty pageant coach, Bill aalverson. When we talk about a pageant Coach, what exactly are you doing?
Bill Alverson 1:43
There's the pageant coach that the I guess the world knows. And then there's me, the typical pageant coach is someone who's going to prepare you for the pageant, the process, how to answer a question, but they're really going to more tell you what you should be answering how you should present yourselves. What I like to do is figure out who in the hell you are. So that if there is a problem, say you're not very well, you're not very knowledgeable in current events. And this pageant is going to have some current events, questions we got to develop that we got to educate your brain so that you can then intelligently speak, to sell yourself, what I like to call my, my preparation is we're making you a teaser on you so that the judges when they look and watch and see, they want to watch your show. They want to be on your show. They want to be with you. So it is how to engage and present yourself in life and sell yourself or your ideas and concepts.
Nick VinZant 2:44
Do most people who are in pageants, do they need a little bit of work? Or do they need a lot of work?
Bill Alverson 2:51
I would say most people in pageants need substantive work. And what I mean by that is some people substantive work is starting from I've never read a book, I don't know anything, I'm just pretty. And then there are other people that are introverts, but when they're on stage, they come alive because the lights kind of keep them distance. So they they have to work on how to communicate verbally, then there's some people that are such chatty Cathy's, they don't shut the hell up. We need to learn how to rein them in and not I don't really care about what what you think, you know, the narcissistic ones, which the narcissism seems to be growing. So it really does vary. Sometimes I get a girl say she's already won a state pageant, she's going to Miss USA and Miss America, whatever. She just needs to be like shooting those free throws like a great athlete that just needs a little bit of extra training and work to keep them on focus and track.
Nick VinZant 3:47
For people who maybe aren't kind of accustomed to the pageant world. How would you explain it to somebody that really just what the world is involved the competition, the
Bill Alverson 3:59
what I typically what I like to say one of my catchphrases is life's a pageant, and people kind of questioned me on that. And I'm like, Alright, let's think about it. You're going to your local bar, you're going to get a drink, you're hanging out with a buddy's beautiful lady walks in. I'm single. And so you kind of go up and you want to talk to her right? Well, how do you know what to say? How do you know to present yourself? That's a little bit about you being a pageant contestant. It is how you're engaging how you look how you may you know, are you saying Come hither? Are you saying back the hell up? Are you squaring your shoulders? Are you having friendly body language? Patrick girls, they're way ahead of the curve on that, because they've been marketing themselves, talking about themselves explaining their interests, and yet maintaining engagement and conversation through an interview. So that's kind of how the pageant all kind of comes together in a big circle.
Nick VinZant 4:55
How big is it in certain areas would you say
Bill Alverson 4:59
when you Get like to Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, you have so many different things going, you literally can like, hey, they're shooting a new movie right around the corner, big famous people, and you're in a restaurant and people are being regular, right? But then when you slow down the numbers to where it's more small, then it's kind of like the event or something that's going on. Everyone knows when the Oscars are going on in Hollywood. That to me is how a pageant is working in different communities. If it's one of these fruit vegetable kind of pageants, or a Seafood Festival, where these pageants are part of a general overall celebration, it's kind of a big deal. You know, they're kind of like keeping up with who's in it and who's doing what sounds like the old Miss firecracker. 500. movie, but but in other places, people don't even know what's going on. Here's where crowning Miss Manhattan tonight, you walk out the door and go eat and people don't even know what you were doing. Were you at a bookstore. So it varies on the, I guess the population base. And from that, how its involved in the community. And then we're seeing people state pageants are typically a big deal thing because the the contestants come in their families come in that people are involved in the community. They're doing preliminaries, the theater is advertising it. And so it's just kind of an activity. Not unlike a sporting event, actually.
Nick VinZant 6:23
Like when you when somebody comes in, and you're going to start with a new client, like how do you kind of What's your general process, you're going to do this, you're going to do that you're going to look at this, you're gonna look at that.
Bill Alverson 6:33
The first thing I have to really work on is Do they even know who they are and what they want to do. Then we break down things like when they say and stuff and I love to help people generalities that like I just fall asleep and go or whatever you What did you tell me? You haven't told me a damn thing? But I'm nice and kind. No, you're not. You're telling me you are you haven't? You haven't told me any facts that show these qualities about you? You know, I want to go to med school, I want to be a doctor and be a thoracic surgeon. That's great. So you're an honor society in high school. Now I make sees that I just looked at them go, you ain't going to med school girl. It sounded great and fancy. But it doesn't make sense. So that's really what I start working on is working on them being real authentic with me. And the funny thing is, most girls that work with me their test scores and grades go up.
Nick VinZant 7:25
Is there an area where he would you would say like, when you come any work with most passionate people? Is there an area where they seem to struggle the most? Like, oh, I know I'm gonna have to work on this.
Bill Alverson 7:35
Current Events. Nobody seems to know what the hell's going on. They believe a news blip. They're, these girls are just as guilty as their parents. And that's why the whole country's effed up. As far as I'm concerned, we operate off headlines. And we don't read down to really see what we're looking for. Or we're closed our mind to an other opinion or other side. And so I have that's a challenge of mine. It's kind of fun to see it when the light bulb goes off, if you will. Here's ago I worked with a girl and all of a sudden she just said it looked to me like oh my god, it all makes sense. Now No, I'm saying this to create this to do this. She killed it. I mean, you know, she, it all started making sense how to communicate. And that's probably current events. They're lacking a lot, reading for their own enjoyment. And so you have to adapt to what's going on. But what are we doing to keep it similar to the information of the world you're in? That's the biggest push. That's what people lacking the most.
Nick VinZant 8:35
So when we talk about like pageant coaches like yourself, how many people do this? This is
Bill Alverson 8:40
gonna sound really arrogant. They nobody liked me. For one day, nobody liked me. I'm an attorney. I'm a divorce man with three kids, two grandkids married to a man. Dang, I mean, nobody fit that there's plenty of a gay man, that's a pageant coach that wish he could walk in heels. There are prop there was another guy. And he also had a family. He's deceased. His name was Don Baker. And there's a couple of women but then then it becomes kind of regional, that people work with their little favorite people, and they're all over the country. I mean, it's like we're a hidden society that we're not collectively with. But so yeah, we're kind of little it kind of everywhere. If there is a pageant there is a pageant coach nearby that has girls in that match.
Nick VinZant 9:26
That kind of perspective, let's say, state level pageant. How many girls are going to enter that? Like how competitive is this?
Bill Alverson 9:37
It can be very competitive. For example, there's the Miss Georgia America Pageant coming up there. We have 95 Girls, I think in it. Probably 50 Miss contestants 40 teenage girls, that's kind of a big deal pageant, and all of those girls have won a local title. So they've come up from a lot of pageant land coming there. Recently there was Miss Allen I'm in USA, I went to that pageant as well, they probably had 90 to 100 Girls Senate, Miss California, Miss New York, which people like to think liberal zones? Are they really into the pageant? Yeah, because those that have like 200 contestants, and the Miss pageant alone. So it gets pretty competitive. Now, then you can go to some states, they've got 12 girls at the state pageant. But six of those girls are incredibly solid. The other ones are just kind of saying what the hell's happening, and maybe they'll fall into it. And sometimes that happens,
Nick VinZant 10:31
how lucrative would you say, is either pageant coaching or the pageant world,
Bill Alverson 10:38
that pageant world can be very lucrative. And the reason that can be if you're, if you're a state director, and a pageant where people have to pay an entry fee, they have to have a hotel room, it's a business thing, just like any kind of sports event you put it on, truly is. And so the Miss America organization, just until recently was always nonprofit, all about volunteers, we're raising money. And I used to laugh, the former head of it got paid a salary of $500,000, yet the states, nobody else was employed, except he got a half a million dollars, and his staff got paid. But everybody else worked off sponsorships and scholarships, because it's a number one scholarship program for women. You know, this is a part time job for me, I make a little bit, I don't make a lot of money, I cover my expenses. It's something that I feel like I'm being productive. I don't waste my time, if you will. It's kind of a hobby that I have. Maybe it's my frustrated. education background. I'm third generation should be an educator. And also, it's kind of a weird, I sounds odd that I like helping people. But it's kind of fun to see people grow and do something with themselves. Now people associated like people that have pageant and Prom shops, they can make good money. If they run their business. Well, there's about a handful in this country that are exceptional. And then there are people that do hair and makeup, and they think they make a good game. So it's kind of Nexus and connected with those type of businesses.
Nick VinZant 12:12
How popular would you say pageants are? Are they going up in popularity?
Bill Alverson 12:17
We took a dip and COVID didn't help at all because they just kind of went. But they're coming back. And it's because they're feeder pageants that are out there. Like there's a pageant called ideal miss. It's in the summer. And if you win it, you still can do your USA, which is a brilliant thing that that director does. Because she realizes that it used to be if you won this one pageant, you can't do anything else. Now that's limited to if you're a miss, say Miss Kentucky, USA, you can't do another pageant. So you're going to Miss USA. That's that would make sense, right? But if you're Miss Kentucky fair ground, why would they restrict you from doing something else later on? That had a bigger connection for you. So they're, I think they're getting wise about the interconnections about the different pageants. And we're seeing that people that are getting the benefit from it. And it's a great activity. I even laugh with some people going, how much did you spend on your son's, you know, travel baseball team, bat and glove and he ain't gonna play in college, but he's going to be good and grow and do things, right?
Nick VinZant 13:31
That makes sense when you look at it that like that, right? Like if you're going to do something, at least to something that you seem to be improving yourself in.
Bill Alverson 13:38
That's the cause. And that's the key. That's the key. It is the improvement if you're a singer, and you want to get on American Idol, they just had Miss America, a former Miss America contestant, one of my clients, Betty Cantrell almost made the cut that got to be on there. If you're a singer, if you're a performer, you're honing in your talent. You're doing the ones that do community service, particularly these girls start nonprofits. They get legislation that they get somebody to sponsor a bill and they get bills pass. You know, there was a she wasn't a client of mine, but it was a miss New York that helped get the same sex marriage bill passed in New York before the Supreme Court said okay, you know, that's pretty damn impressive if you're 24 years old trying to get a job so
Nick VinZant 14:24
it to me like looking at it from completely the outside. There seems to have been and give me some leeway with the wording here. There seems to have been kind of a a backlash against the idea of pageants.
Bill Alverson 14:38
Oh, let's get clear. There's there's a backlash to anything feminine. When my wife was pregnant, no, my wife had her master's and then later got just shorter for PhD got a EDS thing in education. And she was a double mathematics major. She worked for NASA on the space shuttle when she was in college. She was brilliant. When she was Pregnant women would say, are you going back to work? How much time you take it off from work? And then other women would say, Well, certainly you're going to stay home raise that baby, aren't you? And it was like a taffy pool. And this was a 1986 and seven, and I just looked at her and said, You're kind are your own worst enemies? We don't talk to men that way. Why don't we do whatever the fuck we want to do. But we can't because this group of ladies who wants to stay at home thinks that all women should stay at home. While the child is little. This group of ladies says you're so smart, successful, you must go back to work. Oh, you must breastfeed. Oh, you can't breastfeed and do this at work all this crazy stuff of the 80s. Right? I'm coaching engineers right now. There's one competing right now at Miss Mrs. United States of America. And she's an engineer and we talked about it. She's like 40 years old and amazing lady. And she got legislation and stuff passed in West Virginia. And I was talking to her because she's beautiful. And I said, so. Did you did you do it? Did you do gender yourself when you first started working at the engineering firm, and she was like 100%, I kind of tried to blend in. I didn't want to do all this bah, bah, bah, bah, blah. And I said, So when did you start getting promotion she could. So when I started wearing heels again, when I started owning my femininity. And then when she won this pageant, all the guys at work think it's the greatest thing in the world and Miss West Virginia, and they'll go everywhere in there. Look, this is Mrs. West Virginia, this is Mrs. West Virginia. And it became kind of a thing. And she said, and that's what I want to do go into STEM be smart women. But if you want to put on lipstick and mascara, that's fine. And that's what I think the battle is. And I also think some of it comes from just flat out laziness. Because women still have this inherent weird competitiveness. If you and I are going somewhere and you look fat in your speedo, I don't care. And so I'm seeing a resurgence of that. And, you know, people say oh, that's not true. Really. Because last time I checked, cosmetics was a billion gazillion dollar industry, as well as fashion.
Nick VinZant 17:10
Has the backlash against that affected the pageant world or did it kind of just keep on truckin right through it.
Bill Alverson 17:16
It totally affected the pageant world. That's why Miss America got rid of swimsuit. Right. And I agree it is sexist. Sure. There are sexual objects. Some of the things I used to do Miss America hugely offensive walk out and barefoot stand. Let's put our legs together and stand like this to see the gaps. I mean, that column all that's ridiculous. Now they're doing it, they're coming back with athletic way. Well, you do need to be physically in shape. We're we're an obese fat country 1/3 of this country's obese, quit hiding behind the the the falseness that it doesn't matter. We can't deny that people aren't evaluated. It is a factor. The problem is, is where we put our merit and worth to it. And that, to me, is where things are kind of coming back and a little bit more realistic aspect. I mean, Lululemon would not be a huge, huge company, and people didn't really care about how their bodies looked.
Nick VinZant 18:09
Are you ready for some harder slash listener submitted questions? Certainly. Who do you have to coach more? The contestant or the parent?
Bill Alverson 18:18
100%, the parent, the parent always, but it's a different type of coaching. You know, I may do more work with the contestant. Okay, Tom was, but the in depth is that I have a parent who thinks that Betty Sue is this way. And this is how Betty says he's going to be a better Susan out that way. You know, I had a mother who came in literally told me this, because I answer questions. And I mean, I'll look at the mom and go, does she have a voice? Because if she's mute, I need to know that now. She can tag me saying that, you know, the New York Times Magazine article, they made fun of the mom who answered all their questions for the girl that happens all the time. And it's the ideals of what they think TSL can and I'm like, No, honey, your daughter's a mean girl. You know, I've coached them how to learn to be kind by calling them out. You're being a mean girl. But this mom came up and said her daughter was brilliant like 3435 AC T gonna go to Vanderbilt because you know, Mama went to Vanderbilt. And she's got a major in physics. She's gonna be a physicist and my book but that's cool. Nothing the girl told me matched that at all. She didn't read a books about it. She didn't watch movies about it. She didn't care anything about it. She didn't even care about you know, she wasn't even going to be an engineer. She went anywhere near that. But mom had said that that was what she was going to be. And finally I pushed the girl and said, well give me something that we can put on your paperwork to work to show that they understand this is what you want to do in life. Boom she got a problem I remember when I want to do it starts crying well after that thing was over mom if they were in the car, and they ever saw those people again it was like taillights and by Because this mother is forcing this child to be someone, when I work with someone, that is the I'm cutting that umbilical cord, nothing is worse to me to see someone who wants to be something else, and we have to tell the parent, we want to major Do or do whatever, and we work it out. And we do talk about it. But that's probably the hardest coaching part is for a mom, not as much the dad because it goes back to this whole maternal thing. I know my child, and I know what's best for my child. You do and a lot of ways when it helps it comes to health and safety. But you're not living in that child's world. So how can we get you there?
Nick VinZant 20:42
Is there an age group that you would say is either the hardest or the easiest to coach, the
Bill Alverson 20:46
easiest to coach is going to be a college educated individual 100%, because they've at least had to think in class. You know, the hardest a troop is could be that you know that early middle school age group hormones are going everywhere, attention spans, gone, you know, you don't know really where they are in their life. They haven't formed their own feelings, or they haven't formed their own thought processes. And they're really taking guidance from others that are in their life. That's the that's, that's the most fun at times, but it's also the hardest.
Nick VinZant 21:24
Is there? Is there an age group that you would say that this is the most competitive?
Bill Alverson 21:30
You know, the most competitive typically, I think is still teenagers, because, you know, they cry, they don't make cheerleader in high school, you know, the everything in life is important to them. You know, this promposal bullshit that they do now, everything's a production. Everything in their life is supposed to be something. And so when you're doing that, then when they don't when they're devastated.
Nick VinZant 21:55
How, like when you look at who wins and who loses, and who loses, can you tell? I mean, is it usually pretty clear like, Oh, she's gonna win. She's gonna win easy, or is it usually down to the wire?
Bill Alverson 22:10
It's both. Literally, sometimes I've sat there going. And then other times, I've sat there watching going, well, this is done. It's a battle for first round robin. You know, I worked with a girl she was Miss Alabama. afterwards. Afterwards, I met the judges. And I was like, Hey, I've been working with her. Can you give me some help from Miss America. And, like, every night because they had three nights of preliminaries, and she goes, every night, we looked and we all looked at her and went, there's Miss Alabama, after she walked out the interview. And there's Miss Alabama. And all she did was tell us on stage, she was Miss Alabama. And that was fun. Because I had worked with this girl, this was her sixth year. And we really had worked everything all the way through. And she finally bought into the entire process. And every I was dotted, every T was crossed. And she delivered that she later got second runner up at Miss America. So she was really a solid person. But they saw it. And then sometimes you later find out that three judges went one way two judges went one way or two judges went one way two judges went one way and the fifth judgments another way. So the girl in second place is the one that rose up in one. And so you kind of like what happened here. And smaller pageants sometimes yeah, there's always the it wasn't rigged. And sometimes you kind of think, yeah, maybe it was or you find out later, the emcee knew a couple of the girls or might have worked with them, and then throws the friendliness on the stage with the ones that they know. Whenever I find that out happens at a pageant and another director has done it. I have no problem saying never go back to them. Don't go back to that pageant because it's not a it's not a fair fight,
Nick VinZant 23:51
if you will. Is there ever cheating? Are contestants sabotaging each other in pageants? Well,
Bill Alverson 23:59
of course there are. I mean, I have had girls pull out an evening gown chopped up. You've had girls walk off the stage or even at a high school pageant, and the girl just happens to step on the train of the girl in front of her and uh, you hear another girl freaks out, right? I've had one time in a little pageant, teenage girls that had to do like something in the opening number. And they had to say something funny, or whatever, you know, say they were doing something the 50s A Great Balls of Fire and hear about that. Well, right for this girl went on. Another girl still did her intro that she practiced all week. Somebody else said it. And so the girl was like, Well, hell, I gotta say something else. So she kind of came up with something. But she wasn't quite on our game and then the other girl just goes. I have loved her so much. This week nurse hit me and I just said Jerison said of mine. And now honey, you did that intentionally.
Nick VinZant 24:58
Hmm. As devious,
Bill Alverson 25:01
it's devious, it's Machiavellian. You know, the prince Machiavelli from the it's, it's an everything. You know, these things happen. They're evil people, right. And so I actually coach some girls when they know somebody's coming at them how to handle it how to balance yourself. Because if you let them put a noose around your neck, you've let them put a noose around your neck. So I don't think people are sleeping around in the pageant world. I've never been aware of that. But I've had other people try to exert influence if they could.
Nick VinZant 25:35
Who would you say is the greatest pageant contestant of all time?
Bill Alverson 25:40
Yeah, I've got a couple one, Mallory Hagan. She changed the face of Miss America in interviews more than any person I've ever dealt with. When Mallory was so authentic and herself she shut a judge down in the middle of her Miss America interview when he was saying something she didn't agree with. She was real. She even said something about I don't want him up in my grill. I mean, she spoke she spoke vernacular. She was her authentic real style. And a completely connective. Yes, well coached and planned away, but she never lost the essence of her. I don't think she I don't think she said one statement that she didn't believe that but she was so well prepared. She was ready for that. And then people would watch that interview and started modifying from it so she's definitely one Chesley Crist, who was our winning attorney when she won Miss North Carolina won Miss USA she's the one that sadly committed. She was an amazing woman that continued with a purpose when she was Miss USA. She had no problem walking into BLM Black Lives Matter as Miss USA where people say don't be political, and she was like I'm a black Miss USA. This matters to me, I'm walking. She also then went to Miss America to sport her friend who won Miss America who was Miss New York at the time. Competitive pageants. I've never seen a current Miss USA go to a Miss America Pageant. So what an individual showing us that you can be women to stand on your own two feet. Those are two big ones there's there was a miss Alabama that refused to wear a swimsuit on appearances and that cause Miss USA so she made a definite impact on people. You know, when people have of racial and or religious the first Jewish Miss America makes a big deal. When I coached Nina devilry who was the first woman from India Indian descent, Hindu she made a big difference because she opens the doors. So those type people make great impacts by their existence and who and what they are. Vanessa Williams changed the face of pageantry pro and con when they took it away from her they recognized her and brought her back. I mean, seriously, please, you know some people just can't be denied their star power.
Nick VinZant 27:59
What do you consider to be okay, so we obviously have you know, Miss America, Miss USA. Those are kind of the ones that I think that everybody has heard of. What would you say is like one of the oh, this is a big sleeper pageant?
Bill Alverson 28:12
Yeah, you know, a pageant that is growing. That has gotten a lot of attention is something called the volunteer America. It's Miss America volunteer. And it's the offshoot when Miss America said ditch the swimsuits. Alison Krauss, Allison swept like her last name. She was a former Miss Tennessee and the Tennessee director and Miss America system. She was like, You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna start this own thing. And she ran it one year and we're gonna see in its expanded across the country. And it is one of the first ones that said swimsuit, evening gown, interview talent, they're all important, but they're all going to be treated equally. And you know, so it's been kind of a fun one to watch grow. Because it gives somebody else with a talent where to work into it. I know Miss is only three years old. It's probably the fastest growing one out there. Miss apprentice America runs in the summer. And it's basically just completely sold as come here. Do this pageant get prepared before you go back into your USA pageant. So those are kind of sleeper pageants that I think have some real substance to it. This Mrs. United States of America which I didn't really know anything about. But working with this state winner has really shown me that this woman is so positively affected by what she's doing. I now like Mrs. Paget's I have the current Mrs. United States she's an amazing choose on my on my reality show. She's an amazing person that has seen it and both of those winners don't have children but they're Mrs. And they're married and their lives are going on. And beforehand. You could never win if you didn't have kids and the missus pageants. So we're giving another dimension of what a woman can Do which I think is kind of amazing.
Nick VinZant 30:02
Which state would you say that pageant competitions are biggest in?
Bill Alverson 30:07
The first one that comes to mind is Oklahoma. It's still massive. There are more contestants in California more contestants and in New York, but across the board historically to me, when I would work, I used to have it lately, but I used to work a lot in Miss Oklahoma, I used to go to a store there. So I knew a lot of the contestants and their top their top 10. And Miss Oklahoma, America was a solid as Miss America, hands down. Alabama used to be amazing. It's kind of dead wood right now. Kind of old and boring. Then there's Miss Georgia, who is always it's always been fun that people have fun at the show. And it's got a I mean, this year at Miss Georgia, I just know with the girls there with a talent, it we're gonna feel like we're at American Idol, at least with the top 10 numbers. So that's kind of fun. Kentucky has always been a great state. You know, and other states have moments, right? Where they have somebody that's phenomenal from Wisconsin, which you don't even think would be pageant has had Miss Americas, and boom, they're like they're doing something they're, you know, in Minnesota the same way. But those areas really emphasize the arts. And so when you if the places that emphasize theater and the arts, you know, Christian Chyna with couldn't even win Miss Oklahoma. Come on. You know, she was a runner up. But how does that girl not win everything she's in?
Nick VinZant 31:33
I did. I did forget this question. How did you how did you get into this?
Bill Alverson 31:37
You know, that my whole pageant, even with my TV stuff are things I didn't seek. So it's so weird. I coach people to prepare to go and get and make it happen. But that's not how it happened with me. I mean, I did that with education, and obviously won't be a lot of your bah bah, blah. But I was singing to my local choir and my local choir director came up and said, there's this girl. Her parents are old and elderly. She didn't know anything. But she's so sweet. Nice. Would you please talk to her? And I didn't I liked her. Now her hair was a mess. Her interview outfit looked like it was, you know, a blind person put it together. It was horrible. So we changed everything. And the cool thing is, and I'll always say that there's thankfully right now forgot the country western singer that stole this idea. For her talent. She sang my favorite things. And that's when they could do props. We made her a bag lady. So as we put rain at the beginning of the song, so she started singing Raindrops on Roses and edited and she stood up and took off her like old bag lady coat and spun around and it was like a former life. Here I am. This is what I was. And then came back and fell asleep on the bench again. Something Morgan was a country of singer so she sang it at state didn't win. But people from CMT. Were there. Next thing I know, I'm watching a music video and it's our music video, the song and the whole thing acted out beautifully. I was like, wow, it's pretty good idea. But what hit van was she had purpose. And she did talk about mental illness. And this was back in the 90s. Nobody saw her coming. And she bade the mate of cotton's dollar, who was gorgeous. Who got first runner up, and everybody town thought this girl had at one. So what happened was, I took the girl that nobody knew that was kind of nice. The wallflower in school, she wins. Then, what do you think every mom in towns do in the next week next year. Ding ding dang. And so that starts growing. And then this girl goes and wins her little pageant and keeps growing and gets college scholarships, etc. So that's what happened. And then like I mentioned, what kicked it off into high gear is when Keith called me at last impressions and said, Hey, come up and do this. He had the idea. He had the concept. People have tried to copy it. It was phenomenal. There's a talent coach, a walking coach, interview coach, a gown thing, they're doing all this stuff together. You know, of Super Talent guy flies in from Missouri walking coach from New York comes in. I mean, he brought in all these big names. But he did an interview person there really there was only one guy that that guy that I talked about earlier. So I kind of did it. Well then the designer had a connection with her daughter shop in Oklahoma said come out to Oklahoma then I started getting Miss Alabama's Miss Oklahoma, somebody else calls they went Miss Hawaii. These girls are winning Miss America or top five and we're doing something and I'm just kind of reacting. Then I start thinking I need to kind of get this done. This is kind of a thing. And then we kind of honed in and here we are today.
Nick VinZant 34:44
I want to thank Bill so much for joining us if you want to connect with him. We have linked to him on our social media accounts were Profoundly Pointless on Twitter, Tik Tok, Instagram and YouTube. And we have also included his information in the app So description. Okay, now let's bring in John Shaw and get to the pointless part of the show. What do you think is the funnest season of the year? This summer? I think it's actually I think it's summer when you're younger, but I think it's actually fall as an adult.
John Shull 35:18
I mean, I think the summer is for every age group. Why wouldn't it be? It's warm, it's nice. The falls, okay. But the fall is like, and obviously, this is all dependent where you live, but the fall is fine. Until it goes from being kind of how it was here in Michigan last week, 80 degrees Saturday and Sunday, and today, it was snowing.
Nick VinZant 35:38
Because the summers not I don't think it's as fun as an adult because you don't really have that enjoyment of it. You don't get summers off, you got to keep working. And it's kind of a reminder of how much fun life used to be before you became an adult and it brings you down. Fall has Halloween, you've got Thanksgiving, Christmas to me, although technically in winter is basically fall. I think fall is ultimately where it is for adults. Summer is where it is for kids.
John Shull 36:07
The fall is fine, but I think the holidays is kind of what makes it not a very good season to me. Too much stress. Too much stress.
Nick VinZant 36:17
What do you think is the least fun? Season?
John Shull 36:21
You know, it's changed as I've gotten older, I probably uh, probably when I was younger, I probably would have said like spring or something. Just because, you know, it's always rainy or the you know, you once again, you never know what you're gonna get one otherwise. But I think as I get older, it's definitely the winter by far the
Nick VinZant 36:36
winter. I would disagree with you there again. I think that winter used to be my least favorite season because there I was in Kansas and like, well, what are you going to do in Kansas in the winter, besides just be cold and be miserable. But now, now I would think that actually fall a spring is the least fun season. Because all the cool stuff, all the cool stuff about winter is going and all the cool stuff about summer isn't there yet. So I think spring is the least fun and fall is the most fun.
John Shull 37:10
Yeah, the fall is I would put fall bottom two, if I had to rank them probably go in it's like complete opposite. Right. So I would go summer, winter, spring fall.
Nick VinZant 37:23
You're gonna say fall is the least fun? Yeah, for sure. Wow.
John Shull 37:28
Well, I mean, that's just wrong. And my birthday is in in the fall so
Speaker 4 37:32
well, okay. Maybe that's why maybe there's
John Shull 37:37
a deeper meaning that I'm not ready to explore yet.
Nick VinZant 37:40
Maybe you just have a lot of angst about the fall.
John Shull 37:44
Maybe I mean, holidays, birthdays, you know, it's maybe, maybe you should open up peel back a layer, but I'm not going to
Nick VinZant 37:54
how far out? Will you start stressing about something? You've got something that you have to do? How far in advance? Will you start stressing out about it?
John Shull 38:03
I don't really look ahead too much. So I don't really, you know, I don't really get stressed out about so there's always I believe there's always a way to not be stressed. So I'm not usually stressed out about anything in advance.
Nick VinZant 38:19
Hmm. I actually feel the same way. And I had this realization the other day that by the time you're like 3540 That's the first time I would say that you know how to navigate life. Like you know how to handle life's ups and downs in a way that I definitely did it in my 20s and early 30s. I would be much more anxious about things. Now don't give shit.
John Shull 38:45
Yeah, I mean, I think you realize as you get older that usually everything works out. I mean, obviously it doesn't, but a lot of times it does, in most times, you've done it to yourself in the first place, and then going on a positive life ain't that bad. It's not that terrible.
Nick VinZant 39:05
My grandpa used to say it's either not that bad or you're dead. And then it's not that bad.
John Shull 39:13
grandpappy Van Zandt,
Nick VinZant 39:15
cram pappy Van Zandt, or I said it I also like to pass off some of my sayings is things that grandpappy Van Zandt said, because I won't listen to people I know. But I will listen to people that I don't know.
John Shull 39:28
I also have a, you know, things My grandfather used to say and then I'll, you know, I'll just make up random shit and people will be though they'll start to think about it. It kind of makes sense. Give us a good one. Oh, man. Well, you know, it's like my grandfather used to say, Nick, those oranges could taste the best they've tasted in a decade. But it doesn't mean that the waves are going to roll over any faster.
Nick VinZant 39:52
It's good advice. It's good advice. Just make up nonsense.
John Shull 39:57
That just nonsense. Just nonsense. Let's
Nick VinZant 40:00
look at I mean, most of life is just pretending like you know how to do something.
John Shull 40:05
Oh man, I mean, how many people in quote unquote positions of power, I mean, got there because they're professional bullshitters. And they seem like they know what they're doing.
Nick VinZant 40:15
I'm gonna go ahead and say that only that only at the most 20% of people know what they're doing. Only 20% in any job that you are doing. Now, there may be people who can get the job done. But in terms of actually like knowing how to do something, why, when to do something, and why to do it at that time. I would say only 20%.
John Shull 40:45
Man 20 That I mean, that's, as I get older, and I and I'm involved in more professions or people that are in those professions. I might even say 10%.
Nick VinZant 40:56
I can go to 10% Only if you also eliminated people who just don't care. That's because I think that I've been a competent worker in the past, but would fall into that 80% of people who don't know what they're doing simply because I didn't care at all.
John Shull 41:14
I can honestly say though, I've never had a job where I didn't care. Maybe I wasn't good at it. But I've never not cared at a job I've ever done.
Nick VinZant 41:22
I think that that's shifted, though. I think that people however little they cared about work a year ago, they don't care at all about work at all. Now
John Shull 41:34
is the time for some shout outs for me to butcher some names. Butcher. All right, let's start here with a simple one. Matt Sanderson. Christine Nichols. David Knox. I don't know why. But I like NOx like as a first lame name, last name. It's a good solid name, I think
Nick VinZant 41:54
NOx. Yeah, that's a good one. How do they spell it kn O X? Yeah. I don't know if I've ever met a NOx and O C. Ks, or inox? No x s. It's really ridiculous that we have so many words that sound exactly the same, but are spelled differently. It's like we came up with, it's like we came up with a language with no thought whatsoever about how this should actually work.
John Shull 42:20
I mean, obviously. Let's see a little alliteration here. Jamie Joseph. Liam grant. Another good name grant. Jonas Webb, Corey roughed in Aiden Quirke. Jacob Diaz, and Rollins more. All right, I've got a couple of banners for you. What do you dislike doing more? And it's kind of funny, you mentioned that you asked the season question earlier, because Nick, and I don't like take notes and compare before the show, by the way. So this is just clearly just meant to be this episode. But what do you dislike more doing, like yard work in the summer? Or doing it in the winter, like shoveling snow etc?
Nick VinZant 43:10
Well, I would say during in the summer, simply because that means that like, now you're in it. Like you got to do this every week, or every two weeks. In the winter, it's like occasional, especially where I live in Seattle, like you're gonna have to shovel the snow once or twice a winter. But once spring comes, I'm gonna have to mow the grass every damn week. I mean, so it's a frequency. It's not the time of year.
John Shull 43:36
So this is kind of a two part question. First part is do you get excited to get the mail?
Nick VinZant 43:44
Sometimes I do like to know what's in there. The problem is, is that anything in there now is just junk and or bills. Very rarely do you get something interesting in the mail. But I used to be like, Oh, I'll get the mail that was sent to like, do a big deal.
John Shull 43:58
And this, this applies to mail or getting a package delivered. But have you ever expected something to come and it didn't come that day? And you were upset about it? No. Okay,
Nick VinZant 44:12
did you have something recently? Was it was it?
John Shull 44:15
No, no, not recently. But like, I'm like, like, I'm excited about getting the mail. I enjoy it. For some reason. The problem is, and maybe this is a problem around the country, or around the world. If you're an international listener, like we don't get mail every day hear like we might get it on a Monday and then we'll get it on a Thursday or something like it's very it's very random if we get it literally back to back days.
Nick VinZant 44:40
So wait a minute, the mail isn't it's just not coming or you're just not particularly getting any
John Shull 44:47
one time I might be because we just didn't get any that day. But, you know, there's been times where I mean, no one's seen a mail truck in the neighborhood for two three days.
Nick VinZant 44:56
Yeah, but I think that's probably just because like you just don't notice it. There's so many things that I think that happen that you just don't regularly notice. I'm not out there looking for the mail every single day. But I do my dog. How far do you How far do you have to go to to get your mail?
John Shull 45:15
I mean, it's, I don't have to walk at all. I open up my front door, reach my arm out, and my mailbox is attached to my house. Oh,
Nick VinZant 45:23
yeah, it's got to be a little bit more of an event. I don't want my mailbox attached to the house I want. I want to have to like slightly travel outside, I want to go between. I want to go between 25 and 75 feet to get my mail. I don't want to walk across the street or down the block to go to the mailbox. But I want to have to have a little bit of an excursion. I want to take his 20 steps, at least 20 steps. I want to go and get the mail not reach outside.
John Shull 45:55
I mean, it's fine when you're you know, and you're reaching out when it's negative five degrees outside.
Nick VinZant 46:00
God toughen out. You can you can handle a little bit of cold for 10 seconds right. About toughing it out. Our ancestors didn't do what they did. So that you could be sitting here. Okay, go out delayed for two decades. You take a meal. It's fine. Listen, I waited across oceans. What are you wondering what is
John Shull 46:21
next? That Thomas Jefferson or Thomas Edison didn't shower naked once a month? For me to complain about a draft? Is that what you're gonna say next?
Nick VinZant 46:30
Yeah, well, you got a pretty easy life, man. Just enjoy the thing. I wasn't complaining. Your sounds like you're complaining. It sounds like you want narratives. You want your life to be so easy. I want somebody else to mow my lawn. I want somebody else to get my mail. So you gotta know. You gotta toughen up, man.
John Shull 46:52
Let's just move on to something else. All right, here's the here's what we have choices to talk about today. Let's see the parmesan Express Martini.
Nick VinZant 47:02
I thought that was a two part question. What was the other part about the mail? And then there was something else?
John Shull 47:08
No, that was it. Do you enjoy getting the mail? And then, you know, I you know, I already forgot. I like I already? Oh, yeah.
Nick VinZant 47:14
You getting? Do you probably check when a package. I never check. Like it's gonna get there. When it gets there. I plan ahead. And I plan ahead.
John Shull 47:23
Now I'll give us I'll give I'll give Amazon shout outs because they are they have it now to where you can like literally see them? Like how many stops away? It is. You know what, like, the exact time they're gonna deliver? I mean, they got it.
Nick VinZant 47:37
What are you ordering that you need to know exactly when it's going to be at your house?
John Shull 47:42
I mean, anything, flashlight, packages, birthday gifts, all that good stuff.
Nick VinZant 47:47
And just to clarify, you said flashlight,
Unknown Speaker 47:49
not flashlight. Yeah, no flashlight.
Nick VinZant 47:53
That is something that I can't believe exists. For people who do not know what a flashlight is. It is a simulation of an adult film stars, personal genitalia, from what I understand. Like, I can't believe that that exists. I'm if you've got one. Now I'm not knocking it. But that's just one of those things that like, I can't believe that that's a real thing. Like, I can't believe that that has been created.
John Shull 48:20
It's so in depth now that you can get create, like, you can create your own flashlights to be your spouse. I don't know why you would want that.
Nick VinZant 48:28
Why would you want that? Like, yeah, that's the last thing I would want. Like,
John Shull 48:32
also, I wonder how many like, how many they sell to married men? You know what I mean? Like, of their spouses, I feel like that that's not a very high number.
Nick VinZant 48:41
So what would you feel like? Would you Okay, let's say you've got this person's would you then only use it when looking at that person that I could kind of understand. But if you're losing using that when looking at just anybody then I kind of don't quite get it. We need somebody who has one to just anonymously come on the show.
John Shull 49:02
Orbs just send us a
Nick VinZant 49:03
actually, fact don't send us a picture. No, no.
John Shull 49:08
I want someone to send you like a two paragraph write up of what it means to them and then I want you to read it on air.
Nick VinZant 49:14
Okay, I would except that if somebody writes us a message about why they have that. I'm not it's just that seems like a big step. That's a step that I'm not going to take I can ever see myself buying one of those.
John Shull 49:30
I'm yeah, I'm I don't think I'll be in the market for one anytime soon.
Nick VinZant 49:34
I know somebody who has two of them might even have three which, but I think one was like a buy one get one free. Jesus Christ. So it kind of makes sense why you would have three I mean, if you're gonna buy a second one, you're gonna get a third one for free and I gotta turn it down.
John Shull 49:55
Can you give us the demographics on this person? Are they 2020s or 30s? Are they Single,
Nick VinZant 50:01
they are single, which is shock. I Yeah. Yeah. All right, we'll move on. I don't think you buy one of those if being single is a short term situation. It's probably been a while and it's probably gonna be a while. Just move on. All right. That's your thing. That's your thing, man. That's one of the things we talked about a lot on this show. However you get down how you get down. Yeah, that doesn't mean that people aren't going to have questions, not judgment. Just questions.
John Shull 50:37
Let's I'm not laughing at you. If that's how you go then great, man. Do you or if you're a lady, do you but man,
Nick VinZant 50:45
don't you have to clean it? That's to me would be the thing that I wouldn't want to deal with? Is the cleaning of it afterwards. Sure. There's you gotta get that out of there. Get in there.
John Shull 50:57
Do you think a dishwasher safe?
These are all questions that I was like, Oh, just do you have to put it on the top rack? Because if you put it on the bottom rack Well, the plastic burn.
Nick VinZant 51:13
Let's see how the rubber are. Let's see if someone is glued Google this our flashlights?
Speaker 4 51:19
Of course they have of course tissue washer
Nick VinZant 51:23
safe. No, but just how to clean your flashlight. Don't use a dishwasher. Any soap? Oh, don't use soap. It's not dishwasher safe. So people have really, really researched this. I mean, there's like, oh my gosh, there's there's like cleaning tips, which I get it. They're not dishwasher safe. Okay.
John Shull 51:47
Good God. All right. All right, four options here. The farmers shot Express Martini. Apparently that's a viral thing where people are making Parmesan flavored martinis. The Chinese us police station, apparently it's come out that a group of Chinese radicalist had an undercover police station in New York City. Where, you know, who knows what they were doing. But one could imagine. The other option that did not win was the Pacific Garbage Patch. It's called I don't know how familiar you are with that. But it's literally like, I don't even know how big my
Nick VinZant 52:30
punch. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. And it's, it's getting
John Shull 52:33
close to, you know, possibly having a trajectory towards the California coast, which would be an absolute disaster for Echo ecosystems and all that stuff. But anyways, what one naturally, it was probably the most pointless thing of the four choices. And that is apparently McDonald's came out and have said that their burgers are going to be getting upgrades, they're going to be made differently. With a little bit more ingredients that are good for you. Apparently the cheese that they're going to start, they're switching the maker of cheese, the cheese is going to melt a little better. Instead of being just like a wax, wax paper, and there's going to be softer buns. Burgers.
Nick VinZant 53:20
Yeah, I don't believe that at all. But okay, sure. Great. So, so instead of spending half a cent on ingredients, they're now going to spend three quarters of a cent right, like, let's not take this back here and think we're getting luxury items. Right? They're gonna go from spending $1 to $1 a one.
John Shull 53:40
Yeah, but I mean, you know, it's, I was doing some research on I mean, there's several conspiracies out there that you know, this is them trying to appeal to the wokeness and blah, blah, blah. And it's, I keep reading these things and and not to take away anything from those folks. I feel that way, but it's McDonald's. They could say listen, there's actual shit in this burger. And people are gonna buy it.
Nick VinZant 54:03
It really doesn't matter right? They could also say there's actual shit in this burger and we need to kind of like update our stuff. And somebody would be like, What a minute. What do you mean it's good enough for me when I was your age these kids today they don't even want to eat shit in their burgers anymore. No matter what is going on somebody will find an issue with it.
John Shull 54:26
Absolutely. That's so anyways McDonald's still it's still probably top five fast food burger I think overall. That yeah, choose from but probably top five.
Nick VinZant 54:39
I would personally because I don't have a sense of smell have a very difficult time. If you gave me like a blind taste test of the different burgers. Like from Burger King, Wendy's McDonald's, I would have a hard time telling them apart.
John Shull 54:55
I could probably I could probably figure it out, I think but that's not a good sign either. So
Nick VinZant 55:00
Yeah, yeah. Are we are you ready for a tough five? Are we gonna tough five?
John Shull 55:05
We're Yeah, man, we're half an hour and let's go.
Nick VinZant 55:09
Alright, so our top five is top five obsolete things. Things that we used to rely on or use frequently that now are just suddenly don't need those anymore at all. What's your number five.
John Shull 55:25
So a lot of mine are technology based, I realized, but my number five is AOL Instant Messenger.
Unknown Speaker 55:32
Oh, what's
Nick VinZant 55:33
weird though, is that we've kind of blocked brought that back in like Slack and teams. We've just brought it back in more advanced way.
Unknown Speaker 55:42
Yeah, well, oh.
Nick VinZant 55:46
What did you just throw up?
John Shull 55:47
I have no idea what just happened. It's like once one vocal cord went the other day and go. No, so am
Nick VinZant 55:55
IA will realize that we breathe, talk and eat all through the same hole and somehow managed to get that right most of the time. It's amazing that we don't show that people don't choke to death every day. I mean, that like, it doesn't happen to all people all the time. Like you can breathe, eat and talk at the same time. And somehow your body figures that out.
John Shull 56:20
Yeah, sure. That's incredible. Man, it's weird where we go on this pointless.
Nick VinZant 56:25
You don't think that's amazing? You're breathing, eating and talking out of the same hole. And somehow you don't die every time you do that.
John Shull 56:35
I mean, I've always found it kind of wild that a certain Orpheus on our body, we dispel acts from but can also be used as a pleasure hole. Like how can it be a shithole but also be used as pleasure?
Nick VinZant 56:51
Because basically, man, all of life happens in the same general area. The recreation and the defecation all happens. Okay.
John Shull 57:03
Like I'm with you on that. 100%
Nick VinZant 57:05
What was your number five?
John Shull 57:06
AOL Instant Messenger.
Nick VinZant 57:09
Oh, yeah, lunchbox,
John Shull 57:11
boy. Oh, five. Look me up.
Nick VinZant 57:13
You still have it? Because you log on. So you got the password?
John Shull 57:16
No, I don't I don't think they have. Do they even have like a reiteration? No. AOL is like, dead now. Right? It's not even really, it's like a shell of what it was.
Nick VinZant 57:25
So I'm just enough older, I'm old, just enough older than you that like I pass that by that technology wasn't there at the time that I would have used it. So I never really used it. My number five might be a little controversial. My number five is watches and clocks. I think they're completely obsolete in the sense that nobody is using a watch to tell what time it is.
John Shull 57:53
See, I think yeah, I think you're a little wrong there. I think,
Nick VinZant 57:56
how many watches do you have?
John Shull 58:00
I don't know. Probably about a dozen two dozen.
Nick VinZant 58:02
And you check the time with your watch.
John Shull 58:06
I mean, obviously, it's more of a style statement. Right? Like you wear it. You know, yes. You don't wear it to check time. But also it's not I wouldn't consider it. I wouldn't consider watches or clocks obsolete.
Nick VinZant 58:19
I consider watches to be obsolete, because you're not using it for what its intended purpose is. If you're looking at the time, you're is like what time is it and you got a watch on? You're not looking at your watch. You're looking at your phone.
John Shull 58:34
I mean, I see I see what you're saying. And it makes sense. But also I wouldn't send her those obsolete. I just wouldn't.
Nick VinZant 58:41
Okay, number four.
John Shull 58:43
brick and mortar stores.
Nick VinZant 58:45
Oh, very close to it.
John Shull 58:50
Yeah. You know, my thought was like Blockbuster toys or Yeah, like, but I would go on a limb and say that within the next five minutes, I'll say within the next 10 years, malls will be gone. And within the next five years, you will not see a competitive brick and mortar store outside of maybe three of them. Costco, WalMart. And this is nationally by the way, not like the local stuff. But yeah, Costco, WalMart, and those Amazon stores that are starting to pop up.
Nick VinZant 59:23
It's basically only going to be giant stores. It's either going to be giant or very kind of specific to that area, like a store, like a fleshlight store. Right? So then you can go in there and would you ever buy a used one?
John Shull 59:37
Less? What's your number four?
Nick VinZant 59:39
What is there was a used one. Which you wonder if there's a huge market? Mark? Absolutely.
John Shull 59:45
I bet you there is. I bet I guarantee you there is don't don't search it.
Nick VinZant 59:51
I'm going to search and do my internet history for years. There's a Reddit post post that just says I would be interested in purchasing a used flashlight. I love anything used and broke in. I even buy used underwear. As an interesting person, man, there's always somebody like that don't care what the market is. There's always somebody. My number four is cassette tapes. CDs, I think are still around, you can definitely still get vinyl records, but cassette tapes have just dropped. I don't know if you could find a new if find a new one if you wanted to. I don't think they exist anymore.
John Shull 1:00:29
I mean, you can Yeah, they don't exist anymore. Nobody makes cassettes, because cassettes are technology that hasn't been around in a decade and a half at least.
Nick VinZant 1:00:39
I would almost say CDs are very close to it. Maybe in the next five years. I think CDs are gone.
John Shull 1:00:49
Yeah, I mean, didn't. Didn't albums. Just pass CDs. Like for the first time in history? I mean, CDs are there on the way out? For sure.
Nick VinZant 1:00:58
Yeah. What's your number three?
John Shull 1:01:02
So once again, not yet obsolete? In some places, but newspapers.
Nick VinZant 1:01:08
Yeah, certainly, like a physical newspaper is almost I would say that's gonna be obsolete within the next 10 years.
John Shull 1:01:15
Yeah. And most like, we're lucky where I live in Detroit to have two major ones. But and I would think in most, you know, smaller cities, they might might not even get one. And having a newspaper to me is like reading have like a physical book. Like it's just good. It's just, it's a lot better than reading it off your phone.
Nick VinZant 1:01:35
I don't know if I've ever actually read a newspaper. It's read least been 20 years to like, pick up an actual newspaper and read it. Yeah, it's good. That's probably been 20 years. Added. Do
John Shull 1:01:50
you feel good about yourself? Does
Nick VinZant 1:01:53
you use technology? My number three is landlines. Nobody needs a landline. That's just ridiculous to have a landline.
John Shull 1:02:02
I still have a landline.
Nick VinZant 1:02:03
I know you do. Right? No here. With you? Can we? Can you give out your landline phone number so we can call you?
John Shull 1:02:12
I honestly don't know it off the top of my head. I have no idea what it is.
Nick VinZant 1:02:17
Why do you have it? Then?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:19
I tell I've told you
John Shull 1:02:21
several times on this podcast. It's my wife who has it. And for some reason, the only person who will answer when called from it is is her mother, my mother in law.
Nick VinZant 1:02:34
So it's basically like a bat phone for your mother in law.
John Shull 1:02:37
Yes, if we're gonna give it a name after five years of this podcast, it's gonna be called the Batphone. For my mother in law,
Nick VinZant 1:02:44
that's her mother in law that phone, the mother in law phone while they're loved my phone, for one reason? Well, then she should pay for it.
John Shull 1:02:54
I mean, she's on. Well, now she doesn't. Yeah, she should pay for it.
Nick VinZant 1:02:59
Right. I think that you need to step up a little bit and start demanding some accountability from your family.
John Shull 1:03:06
So my number two Yeah. Like how I just completely went over that. Yeah. pagers?
Nick VinZant 1:03:14
Oh, pager was a big deal, man. That was a big deal. Dude.
John Shull 1:03:21
It was it was the greatest feeling to get a page from from like a woman like from a girl you were trying to get with. And you just read it. You know? Like, it was always there. You could always go back to it. I mean, I know we have cell phones now. But man fill in the vibration on your hit your hip. And looking at it. There was nothing better back in the day than carrying a pager plus, if you had a pager. Like like you were alright. Like you were cool.
Nick VinZant 1:03:46
Yeah, I would say that pager was pager was probably cooler than a cell phone. Like the first people who got cell phones like alright, they were kind of cool, but you had to be pretty cool to have a pager and that was a big deal.
John Shull 1:04:02
Yeah 100%
Nick VinZant 1:04:04
My number two is maps like having an actual physical map and I remember when you used to have one of those in the back and you had to have one of those in the back in the car.
John Shull 1:04:13
Yeah, so I'm that that was actually the only one I really had on my honorable mention was like the random McNally maps. You know, the big books and your your aunt's would give them to you as Christmas gifts and you'd be like Why the fuck do I need a map of Illinois
Nick VinZant 1:04:33
I remember actually having to like use one. Like oh, I got to look at the map. Go driving through it like that used to be a big deal. You had to plan out where you were going and like print off things from Mapquest if you were going to a new city about directions how to get here how to get there,
John Shull 1:04:50
remember was like call a trip tickets or something through Mapquest they were they print off turn by turn,
Nick VinZant 1:04:56
turn by turn, you had to turn by you had to print it off. Gotta now you I don't think the thing that I don't honestly remember how we even used to do was get airline tickets. Like, I don't even remember how we did that.
John Shull 1:05:12
Well, you have to wear the internet. You had to go to the front of the counter, get the physical ticket, and that was it. I mean, yeah, literally now you just walk in, right? You just walk into the terminal.
Nick VinZant 1:05:21
Oh, dude, like finding the flight that you wanted to take? Oh, right.
John Shull 1:05:26
Alright, well. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't
Nick VinZant 1:05:32
remember how to do it.
John Shull 1:05:33
No idea.
Nick VinZant 1:05:35
I think you had to call somebody you didn't like call the different airlines or something like that?
John Shull 1:05:40
Which that remind, I should have put this on my top five. But I'll put on my honorable mention, is like, like yellow pages, you know, like the info pages?
Nick VinZant 1:05:50
That's my number one actually is phonebook.
John Shull 1:05:54
Oh, that's a good one. Because that is
Nick VinZant 1:05:57
something that you absolutely had to have and and now is completely unnecessary.
John Shull 1:06:03
Yeah, it's I mean, but now you have to like, it's all online. And I always wonder for those and communities who may not have internet or whatnot, like, what do they do? Because I don't think yellow page makes a physical book anymore.
Nick VinZant 1:06:15
I don't think they do either. And that used to be like, if you wanted, you could find anybody's phone number. Like if you wanted to call call Steve Johnson. You could look up Steve Johnson and call him. Yeah. What do you have in your honorable mention then? Did you Oh, wait, what was your number one? Oh,
John Shull 1:06:32
you didn't even like I didn't even get to my number one yet. Which is kind of lame in hindsight, but it's a Walkman.
Nick VinZant 1:06:42
Oh, yeah.
John Shull 1:06:44
To once again lately obsolete. If you're rocking the pager in the Walkman. You were you were on top of of whatever school you were in.
Nick VinZant 1:06:55
Oh, yeah. You had it. This you could never have a CD Walkman though. It wasn't the same. The Walkman had to be tape. Man wasn't the same thing.
John Shull 1:07:07
remand i Yeah. Do you remember? Do you did you have a favorite cassette? Did you have like a favorite cassette?
Nick VinZant 1:07:14
Yeah, Snoop Dogg's first album, which I had to like, I remember buying it. And I showed it to my mom, but I put my thumb right over the explicit lyrics lyrics Steve lyric sticker. And she didn't like look at it enough to realize what it was to give a shit. But then we played it in the car on the ride home because my dad's like, let's listen to your new tape.
John Shull 1:07:40
Oh my god. That's the that's the best man. I had it for about 30 seconds. I also had like GPS systems like maps that I'm going to add to it. Fax machines, but I mean, I don't really miss fax machines. I just, it was a technology that is completely obsolete now because of computers.
Nick VinZant 1:08:01
Used to be a big deal to have a car phone man. Yeah,
John Shull 1:08:05
but I mean, I feel like there's a different level between having a pager and a Walkman. And then having a car phone. If you had a car phone. You had money.
Nick VinZant 1:08:15
Wait, so you had a pager? Did you set that whole thing up to try to make it seem like you were a cool kid in high school with a pager?
John Shull 1:08:23
I mean, yeah, of course. I mean, I had a pager in high school I had, and like, cell phones didn't really become a thing until I was like a junior senior. So the first couple years, you know, you're rocking out a pager and just beeping all over the place.
Nick VinZant 1:08:38
Why did you have a pager as a freshman? What were you doing that you needed to be paged as a freshman.
John Shull 1:08:43
I mean, I had a burner pager too, but we won't go into that.
Nick VinZant 1:08:46
Are you selling stuff?
John Shull 1:08:49
Just flashlights.
Nick VinZant 1:08:52
Oh, okay, that's gonna go ahead and do it for this episode of Profoundly Pointless. I want to thank you so much for joining us. If you get a chance, leave us a rating or review. Doesn't have to be anything big. Just a couple of quick words really helps us out. And let us know what you think are some of the things that have just become absolutely obsolete over the last couple of years. It's so crazy to me how things that were one such a central part of our lives, just kind of fade out of existence.